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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

This man is making me crazy! Help :( Idk what to do... *edit*

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 53 Replies

 I know some of you will want to tell me to leave him and get a divorce but homie don't play dat. I am going to salvage my marriage, whatever it takes. Okay, there is a limit to what I will do, but I'm not there yet. I still see a glimmer of hope...

Plus, we've been together for 10 years now and I don't feel like just throwing a big chunk of my life down the garbage disposal.

There are so many issues, I don't even know where to start so I'm going to do my best to sum things up.

More often than not he's hateful and selfish and he blames me for the way he acts. He's constantly calling me names and short with me. He's always in a bad mood. I have to mentally coach myself regularly, and find ways to remind myself that I'm not a bad person. It's taking, literally, all of my energy just to stay out of depression.

Examples of things he says to me:

This morning "I'm about ready to get a hooker just so that I have someone who is willing to touch me"

Who wants to kiss the lips that chew their ass? I don't feel warm fuzzies when I see him, and when we get in bed, I don't feel like showering him with affection. He's FUCKING MEAN. When I do try to snuggle up, he is pissed off about something I've said or done, and childishly rolls over and gives me the cold shoulder.

He was upset with me because I didn't rub his back this morning. First off, I was still half asleep and, secondly, I have something seriously wrong with my shoulders and to lay on my side and rub on his back, like he insists, kills me. My shoulders and upper back hurt 24/7 but I have to hear "You don't lift heavy stuff all day and you don't have a tumor in your back pinching nerves" Yeah, okay, but it still hurts. When I offer to do it, he doesn't want it. He only wants what he wants, when he wants it. When I do oblige, he acts entitled and is unappreciative.

He's immature, petty, cruel. I don't know why he's turning into such a monster, maybe I am enabling him somehow?

He tells me, I make him wish he was dead and that he's ready to leave and start a new life. I make him miserable, blah blah blah, every hurtful fucked up thing he can say jumbled up together.

I'm usually in a good mood, and a easy going person. He nags at me, "picks on me" (because he's just playing) until I start to get bitter. Which I fight with everything I can mentally, because I see it in myself and I know what's going on, I just can't help it sometimes. But I don't lash out, I usually just withdrawl and I'm sure my face contorts into something less than pleasant.

I go to work, I do all the stuff around the house as far as cooking and cleaning, and I do everything with the kids, school, etc. I manage all the finances. He helps too, but when he does, he acts like it's a huge deal and I should grovel at his feet...sometimes he'll act like he does it all the time, and try to make me feel guilty that he has "to do everything and go to work".

Is he just tired? Does he need a happy pill? WTF

And sometimes I do wonder, would I be better off just walking out? Hell, going to a shelter. But like I said, I'm not there yet. I haven't exhausted all other options...

 *edit*

He put up with my wild mood swings and weight gain, and other random issues when I had my awful birthcontrol for 4 years...

He didn't give up on me.

 

Posted by Anonymous on May. 21, 2013 at 8:45 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 21, 2013 at 8:51 AM

BUMP!

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 21, 2013 at 8:53 AM

BUMP!

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 21, 2013 at 8:53 AM

BUMP!

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 21, 2013 at 8:58 AM

BUMP!

Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 21, 2013 at 9:01 AM
1 mom liked this
Is his nastiness really worth the destruction of yourself?
livric
by Platinum Member on May. 21, 2013 at 9:04 AM
I'm sorry you're going through this. I don't know if I could stay with someone like that. I hope you can sort it out. Good luck and HUGS
bluebunbun
by Gold Member on May. 21, 2013 at 9:04 AM

counseling? I'm sorry I couldn't deal with that...this behavior is why I wouldn't marry my SO of 6 years and left him...

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 21, 2013 at 9:04 AM

 I feel like I'm pretty resilient. No, it's not really worth it. I guess, maybe, I'm just clinging to a memory...

Quoting Anonymous:

Is his nastiness really worth the destruction of yourself?

 

NieceS
by on May. 21, 2013 at 9:05 AM

If you aren't going to leave. You will have to just get used to his behavior. My sister was in a similar situation. Eventually he left her with three kids, a black eye, no money, and a std scare. She was with him for 12 years. She wound up living with my parents for 2years. This type of thing rarely gets better.

charligirl33
by on May. 21, 2013 at 9:08 AM
1 mom liked this

Your with an abusive man and your making excuses for his abusive behavior. You want to know why he's trying you this way? Because he can. You allow it, you do nothing to make it stop. If you're so set against leaving him, I don't know what to tell you. Personally, I value myself way too much to allow that kind of treatment from anyone, I don't care what the circumstances are.

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