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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

"Real Mom" Vs Step Mom..

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 25 Replies
I have raised SS for most of his life (most people don't even know we're a blended family). Yesterday I overheard him tell DD "She's not my real mom, she's just my Stepmom" which hurt my feelings.
Would that hurt your feelings?

I know he still has memories of being with his mom and will love her regardless which is only right. But BM is pretty much absent except when she calls on Christmas, Birthdays and Mothers day. (And all she does is make broken promises)
Posted by Anonymous on May. 21, 2013 at 5:21 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 22, 2013 at 3:05 AM
Any thoughts on this?
briellesmomma
by Velvet on May. 22, 2013 at 3:07 AM
:( he's a bump. I have no clue.
poohbearkfc
by Silver Member on May. 22, 2013 at 3:07 AM
1 mom liked this
Yes I would have been hurt. Im sorry.
megan91
by on May. 22, 2013 at 3:09 AM
She is just hurt that her own mom isnt around. those kind of words hurt, but she is a child and she will probably say even more hurtful things when she becomes a teenager. i wouldnt take it to heart, she didnt mean it. im sure she loves you. just be there for her when her bm breaks her promises.
mrsrodgers0703
by Ruby Member on May. 22, 2013 at 3:09 AM
My step Dad was in my life from the time I was 4. I in no way felt like he was my Dad. That's just me though. I can see why your feelings would be hurt, but he was just telling the truth. Great job for stepping up and being there for him though. That takes a special person :)
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 22, 2013 at 3:09 AM
Thank you!

Quoting briellesmomma:

:( he's a bump. I have no clue.
sheramom4
by Ruby Member on May. 22, 2013 at 3:10 AM
3 moms liked this

Perfectly normal. Even children who have been severely abused ad neglected will tell counselors and judges they want to be with their biological parents and go through phases where the adult caretakers int their lives are "just the step mom (or dad) or "just my foster mom." No matter how bonded they are to those caring for them. I would let it go (although it would hurt) and just continue doing what you are doing.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 22, 2013 at 3:11 AM

I'm in a SM somewhat in the same place. Yeah, it kind of hurts my feelings when DS does this. BM doesn't even call!  I know I'm JUST a SM, but I'm the one who does everything...ya know?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on May. 22, 2013 at 3:11 AM
It's still his real mom. He's just a kid, trying to figure it all out. It's nothing personal. Even though she isn't there, that is still his biological momma. You are the one raising him, but he's bound by blood to her.
yo_ho
by Silver Member on May. 22, 2013 at 3:12 AM

Have you talked with him? He might not have meant to say it to hurt you, rather just trying to figure out all the family dynamics. How old is he?

My kids are adopted and my oldest has said that he wishes that him and his brother (not bio related) could have been born from the same tummy and lived together with his bio mom. He never left the hospital with her and I'm very much aware that when he was 5 that they can fantasize their bio families. We talked and I know he didn't mean to hurt me (never told him that he did), it was just him trying to figure out our family dynamics.

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