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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

S/o What would you do if you found out your 17yo had sex?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 236 Replies
There were a lot of opinions in the other thread on how poorly the parents handled it.

What would you and your husband do if you found out your 17yo had sex with their boyfriend or girlfriend?
Posted by Anonymous on May. 22, 2013 at 4:41 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Leah3333
by on May. 22, 2013 at 4:44 AM
26 moms liked this

Make sure they had the proper birth control, knew how to use it. And tell them to be responsible. Won't be smacking my kid for doing something that is really beyond my control 

RoseBlossom
by on May. 22, 2013 at 4:46 AM
5 moms liked this

get her on bc stat, and have VERY supervised visits, otherwise she wants to act grown she can get a job and start paying rent

Sacha102
by Bronze Member on May. 22, 2013 at 4:47 AM
1 mom liked this

Talk to them about being responsible, at that age I don't think there is too much I could do without pushing them away.. I hope that my sons would feel comfortable enough to discuss stuff with me without fear of judgement. 

Keara20
by Platinum Member on May. 22, 2013 at 4:47 AM
I would be sad that she didn't come to me before hand to help her get on bc. All I hope is that she was being safe
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 22, 2013 at 4:47 AM

I'm not sure... I plan to have "the talk" with dd before she's 17, complete with safe sex methods (ie bc and condoms) and the responsibilities that come with being sexually active.  So i would hope that if she was having sex it would be safe sex. It's hard to say what we'd do because 17 is awful close to 18... we'd probably have to have another serious talk. 

Keara20
by Platinum Member on May. 22, 2013 at 4:50 AM
10 moms liked this
I asked my mom for bc when I was 17, here's how this went

Me mom, I think it's time for me to go on bc
Mom: can't you just use the pullout method?
Me you're dumb!!!! That shit does not work!!! How you don't have more kids is amazing
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on May. 22, 2013 at 4:51 AM
Ask how the hell I had a baby when I was 9 :-P
myusernamedied
by Bronze Member on May. 22, 2013 at 4:53 AM

Discuss it with him/her. Teach them (if not already) how to be safe about it. She was 3 weeks short of being 18. 
What can you really do? 

CafeMom Tickers
2m2t
by Bronze Member on May. 22, 2013 at 4:59 AM
3 moms liked this
I have two daughters.. very young now. They will probably be tempted to have sex way sooner than I would be comfortable with the idea. So, my husband and I discussed about it and we tried to answer their questions like "why do you love daddy/mommy?"; "why did you married mommy/daddy?" "why did you want children and how did you have us?"....

We are trying to explain them that we are very special to each other and this is why we are married. We told them that falling in love is like finding your prince/princess = it has to be someone very special... In the same time, we are trying to build their sense of self-value by explaining them that they are strong enough to decide what they want to do without being influenced by the others...

Probably, by the time they'll be 10-12 ( even earlier if they'll learn about it and become more curious) we'll have discussions about sex... regarding when to do it, why and how. I prefer to be honest with them and determine them to be honest with me instead of pretending that raising them with "good values" and ending up ruining their lives.

I don't believe this is a thing that can be discussed only once (at 17), to me this matter is so complex that it needs to start in early childhood by building trust, self-esteem, values, etc. One discussion might be just about contraception but sexual life is way more complex than that. I hope I will be able to teach my girls that they would not be merchandise but they would be strong women.
PeaceLoveAndTea
by on May. 22, 2013 at 5:01 AM

If she's not already on it, I'd get her on birth control or I would get him condoms. If they already have those, I'd tell them they better beusing them or else I'm going to kick their butts and call the other one's parents.

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