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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I really dont give a flying F*** that hes dying!

Posted by on May. 22, 2013 at 10:35 PM
  • 192 Replies
3 moms liked this

OK let me start with the backstory. My kids dad was the only man ive ever really been with. i got with him when I was 19. I have two boys by him. We lived together in total HELL for five years til i got sick of his abuse and bullshit and sick of living a lie. I left him in OCT of 2010 and moved from MN to TX. Our oldest was 3 at the time and the youngest had JUST turned one. He ended up moving down to arkansas trying to find us cuz his sister lives there. Well, In the past almost 3 years he has sent a total of $336 dollars to the boys. Works under the table and gets SSI. My sons visited him once two summers ago and hav enever been back since I found out there was drugs and other things going on in front of my kids. He hasnt even spoken to them in 7 months. He has even told me Ishould loose my kids, he has called CPS with false accusations and he told me he wished I died and has denied his kids knowing DAMN well they are his.

Well today I get a call from a random number on the way to work. I dk why i answered it cuz i usually dont but it was his sister. She told me he was dying of scerosis of the liver and didnt have long left. They were at the hospital now. My exact words were " So?What do you want me to do about it? Why are you telling me like Im supposed to care" I really dont. Now it did hurt that she called me a heartless bitch cuz i am far from that. i will give the shirt of my back but everybody has a breaking point.I do feel bad Im trying to find some compassion cuz im usually a very big hearted caring person, but I really cant find any empathy for him. My oldest hardly asks about him and my youngest has NO clue who he is at all. Now I will probably tell my oldest if and when he dies but Im not saying anything now.. at least not until I know more and until school is out.

Has anyone been in this situation? Am I really wrong for not caring?I care about how my kid will feel but thats as far as my caring goes...

by on May. 22, 2013 at 10:35 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Shy_Dia
by Ruby Member on May. 22, 2013 at 10:39 PM
18 moms liked this
I'd feel bad that my kids were losing their biological dad... If he dies, they'll never have a chance to ask him why he wasn't around.... But at the same time, I don't think I'd care either. I mean, where was his family at? Were they as uninvolved as the dad was? If so, they can't say shit. The very least, the kids could've had a relationship with them, if they cared
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on May. 22, 2013 at 10:40 PM
44 moms liked this
You kinda sound like a bitch. You may have ill feelings towards him, but you could've been a little nicer to his sister. She obviously felt you should know being the mother of his children. She is probably hurting so a little compassion towards her would've been appropriate.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 22, 2013 at 10:43 PM
20 moms liked this

I would feel the same way. He's no father and as someone who's gone through hell from abuse, I wouldn't feel bad either. I completely understand your feelings towards him and this, people who haven't been abused or abused so badly will not understand. 

2012Rabbit12
by Platinum Member on May. 22, 2013 at 10:44 PM
6 moms liked this

are u sure it wasn't a ploy and he isn't really dying? just asking because my friend was with this guy a long time ago, they broke up, and he had his friends tell my friend that he died to see what she would do.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 22, 2013 at 10:45 PM
42 moms liked this
Quoting Anonymous:

You kinda sound like a bitch. You may have ill feelings towards him, but you could've been a little nicer to his sister. She obviously felt you should know being the mother of his children. She is probably hurting so a little compassion towards her would've been appropriate.
Why? Did she give her compassion when she was being abused by her brother? Did she give her compassion when she had to move from MN to TX because of how badly her brother treated her? Did she send money to support those children? Why on earth does she owe it to his sister to show compassion when none was shown for her?
Leissaintexas
by Ruby Member on May. 22, 2013 at 10:45 PM
3 moms liked this

Yeah, you could have handled that better. I don't disagree with you, but geez, that was his sister. Have a bit of human compassion for her loss, at least. As for your kids, I hate to say it, but they're probably better off. Just let them know, and expect them to have a lot of questions, and be willing to let them grieve in their own way, even if they don't fully understand.

PhoenixV
by on May. 22, 2013 at 10:47 PM
1 mom liked this
I can picture myself saying the same thing if it were my mother calling about my brother.
AuntieM
by Gold Member on May. 22, 2013 at 10:47 PM
2 moms liked this
I didn't feel bad when my son's sperm donor was dying. I felt bad for my son because he was losing someone he loved. But I felt nothing for the dying guy.
JrsMommy07
by Silver Member on May. 22, 2013 at 11:33 PM

 

LOL@ the end Im sorry but that is exactly how i feel. My kids do not have a relationship with thier dad (his choice i have bent over backwards) but my son still knows its his dad and he loves him


 

Quoting AuntieM:

I didn't feel bad when my son's sperm donor was dying. I felt bad for my son because he was losing someone he loved. But I felt nothing for the dying guy.


 

CharmCityMommy
by Member on May. 22, 2013 at 11:40 PM
7 moms liked this
Don't feel bad. Good for you for not getting sucked back up into his bs. Just make sure that you work out any lingering emotions if you have any over your ex so that you aren't carrying around that excess baggage after he has left this earth.
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