I met my best friend when she moved to my neighborhood 3 years ago. We instantly clicked. We are both SAHM, we are both silly and goofy and sarcastic. But then this new girl moved into the area and all of a sudden my friend is pulling away.
It seems like she started pulling away almost 2 years ago but it really got bad last summer. So, I have three kids and my oldest and my mom are super close. She is a Gramma's girl! I guess this part is my fault but it bugs me. I guess I confided too much, but what else are you supposed to do with your best friend, and I would sometimes vent about my mom. I told her a story about a long time ago that my mom wouldn't give me my kid and I had to call the police to get her back. And how my mom's thinking about moving out of state and keeps asking if she can just have my daughter. And how she sometimes doesn't respect my wishes about carseats or not putting my daughter in a diaper at bedtime (she still pees the bed, she's six so it's not like she's 12!)
But last summer things got kinda bad. My mom tried to get my daughter removed from my home by telling her bio dads mom that she was being abused. I guess she thought that if she was removed that because she spends so much time at her house that she would just get her. Well they almost took her to foster care and my mom and I got in a big fight. Luckily the judge didn't grant the removal and my mom apologized and realized she wouldn't get her anyway. Well I guess I made a mistake in confiding in my friend and now she won't go anywhere near my mom, she tells her kids to stay away from her, and if she's at my house and my mom shows up, she will just leave. If I can forgive my mom why can't she?
But ever since then she has gotten really close to this other girl and I feel really left out. So, I stopped telling her things. I even try to talk up my mom, like how after my youngest was born this winter, she has been so helpful! Thinking maybe she would lay off, but she doesn't, I think this other girl has been egging her on to keep me out. But I know my friend judges me so I don't tell her that she spends every night at my mom's house, but she's here before school every day, gets ready here, and gets off the bus here, and most nights even eats dinner here before my mom picks her up. But I think she's been spying on me because a couple of times the cops have been called because my mom just puts her in the front seat when she picks her up. It's only like two miles to her house. So now I feel like I have to hide my whole life and rearrange my whole life just so she will stay friends with me.
So many times I see the two of them hanging out outside and they don't even invite me and my kids to hang out. When we do all hang out, they have these inside jokes that I don't get. And she used to have me watch her kids and now she never asks me to watch them, only this other girl.
I don't know, I guess I'm just sad. Do you think I can ever get her back, how long do most people hold grudges? Would you ever be able to forgive someone for abandoning you like this?