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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Hubby seems to be choosing his dad over me, WTF? Sorry long.

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 20 Replies

Recently DH and I bought our first house.  We are still moving in and the kids and I have only slept in it since Sunday.  

Now, a little back story about FIL, he's always playing the badass or he's doing the oh poor me crap.  His wife left him and he says that she sold their house (that was supposedly in his name) out from under him and left town leaving him with nothing.  He's basically been living out of his truck for about a year.  On occasion he's stayed with his brothers or sisters or his mom, but they've all kicked him out.  FIL won't look for a job, he's always worked for himself (handyman) so doesn't qualify for disability, welfare or unemployment.  He says he's too good for a job a McDonalds.  He's recently gotten over shingles and he has no thyroid because he had graves disease almost 40 yrs ago.  I also think he's a horder of sorts, he's got a storage full of crap (that DH has paid for almost a year now), he's got crap at both my BIL's houses, and he pulls a trailer full of crap where ever he goes.  He's constantly digging through it and pulling stuff apart (tv's ect.)  He has a history with cocaine, and personally I think he's on it again, so do my 2 BIL (FIL's sons) and my MIL (FIL's first ex) and DH step-mom (now ex). He been pulling this I'm too sick to work, no one will help me out, I can't find a job, blah blah blah.  

Well, Sunday I pull up to our house and FIL is there unloading his trailer full of crap into my garage.  DH works out of town all week and wasn't there, but my house was all opened up and FIL had a key.  He proceeded to tell me that DH said he could move in with us, into the garage, but FIL insisted that he kept telling DH it wasn't a good idea, it was our first house and he didn't want to intrude.  After about 30 mins FIL informed me he was loading up his stuff and leaving, he might not make it down the street before blowing his brains out, and he stopped taking his thyroid meds over a year ago because he just wants to die.  By this time I'd already walked through the house and found all my cupboard doors wide open, a sink full of dirty dishes, and my bathroom (in the master bedroom) was literally covered in poop!  Inside, outside, it was even on my toilet paper roll!  WTF?!  In the garage all DH's and my stuff had been shoved to one corner in the garage, there were heavy boxes on my fragile boxes, and trash and my stack of empty boxes thrown on top of it all.  Also, there is a pile of adult diapers in corner in the garage, and I'm scared of what might be in those diapers (considering what he did to my toilet). I'd been busting my ass to make our new house our home and FIL had come and ruined it all over night, while no one was there.  

As soon as he left, I called DH and told him all about it.  DH is about an hour away.  DH said he'd try to get a hold of his dad to find out what was going on.  DH calls back about an hour later pissed at me.  FIL is there telling him a load of lies about how I don't want him there, and my mom (who helped me bring a load of stuff so was there) and I made him uncomfortable and we wouldn't let him talk to the kids.  And that I told him it was only ok if he came for visits.  I told him since he didn't want to stay, he was more than welcome to come back, even if it was just for visits.  I was being polite, when in reality I was ready to snap his neck, but never was I mean or told him he couldn't be there.  I even offered him a bottle of water and a coke, which he just threw in his truck.  Dh told me, "well, I can't see why my dad would drive 5 hours with a trailer full of stuff, unload it, just to load it all back up and leave."  I told him that I agree, it didn't make sense, but the way his dad was acting he didn't seem like he was in his right mind, he was actually kinda scary.  DH and I have been together 9 yrs, and I've never seen his dad act like that.  Granted, he's always been a jerk, but this was different.  And then he went and told dh a bunch of nonsense that made dh pissed at me!  We argued over the phone, dh was still out of town, and dh hung up on me and wouldn't answer when I tried to call back.  Now, since we just moved in, I don't have phone and internet yet, I was using my mom's because she was there, but when she left. I had no phone.  I'm at her house now.  So I haven't talked to dh since Sunday night.  He hasn't even tried to call my mom's phone and as far as I know his dad went back to where he came from.  Thoughts?  I'm really at a loss!


Posted by Anonymous on May. 23, 2013 at 8:34 PM
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Replies (1-10):
silverdawn99
by Ruby Member on May. 23, 2013 at 8:38 PM
2 moms liked this

i would tell him he needs to pull his head out his ass

i would say he is not welcomed to live with you or near you. if he wants to help his father find him a homeless shelter and tell him to get a job

zildjans_mom
by on May. 23, 2013 at 8:39 PM
Sorry that's a lot to deal with :(
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quinnsmom715
by Donna on May. 23, 2013 at 8:42 PM
2 moms liked this

you should have used your moms phone to take a pic and sent it to hubby so he could see the mess.if your kids werent thereid say leave the mess your fil left for hubby..

csxt99
by Jennifer on May. 23, 2013 at 8:43 PM


I agree with you!  As an added bonus, since FIL was being such an ass and threatening to blow his brains out, I would have told him to go right ahead and quit being such a useless drain on the family!

Quoting silverdawn99:

i would tell him he needs to pull his head out his ass

i would say he is not welcomed to live with you or near you. if he wants to help his father find him a homeless shelter and tell him to get a job



LilliesValley
by on May. 23, 2013 at 8:50 PM
1 mom liked this

Your FIL should not have a key to your house get it back. Enabling him in his sorrows is not going to help.

Next, I would have taken a pic of the toilet and sent it to dh. Any time he tried to say anything bad about me in reference to his father, I would pull that pic out and ask him to explain how that was respectful. If your dh with your FIL history can't see the problems that his father is creating he's a moron. In the future FIL should only come when your dh is there so your dh can make sure you and his father are behaving appropriately. I would have left the toilet for your dh to clean up too by the way.

twade26
by on May. 23, 2013 at 8:52 PM
1 mom liked this

I wouldve left the mess for dh to clean up when he got home or I wouldve taken pics and sent them to him. You FIL sounds crazy and your dh is being an ass.

LilliesValley
by on May. 23, 2013 at 8:53 PM
1 mom liked this

 

Agree. And if a pic wasn't an option I would have left that shit for him!! Actually I would have left that shit for him either way and any time he tried to argue with me about his father, I'd just say do you not remember the disrespect your father showed US in our home with the shitty toilet? WTF!

Quoting quinnsmom715:

you should have used your moms phone to take a pic and sent it to hubby so he could see the mess.if your kids werent thereid say leave the mess your fil left for hubby..


 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 23, 2013 at 9:24 PM

Oh he did give me the key back!  He wasn't going to leave with it!  The problem with DH seeing the history with his FIL is that he thinks everyone is lying about his dad.  DH's mom use to be abusive and FIL got full custody dh and his brothers, so dh's always seen him as his "hero"  it's actually quite sickening.  His dad can do no wrong, according to dh.  I wish I could have left the toilet, but the bathroom was in my bedroom, and it was sickening to even think about sleeping so close to the mess. 

Quoting LilliesValley:

Your FIL should not have a key to your house get it back. Enabling him in his sorrows is not going to help.

Next, I would have taken a pic of the toilet and sent it to dh. Any time he tried to say anything bad about me in reference to his father, I would pull that pic out and ask him to explain how that was respectful. If your dh with your FIL history can't see the problems that his father is creating he's a moron. In the future FIL should only come when your dh is there so your dh can make sure you and his father are behaving appropriately. I would have left the toilet for your dh to clean up too by the way.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 23, 2013 at 9:26 PM

I plan on it!  I just talked to MIL, dh was sleeping (he works nights)  and I plan on telling him that if he wants his dad to be invovled with our family at all, after the stunt he's pulled, he needs to get help first.  

Quoting silverdawn99:

i would tell him he needs to pull his head out his ass

i would say he is not welcomed to live with you or near you. if he wants to help his father find him a homeless shelter and tell him to get a job


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 23, 2013 at 9:26 PM

thanks!

Quoting zildjans_mom:

Sorry that's a lot to deal with :(


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