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I think my future MIL is more important than me.

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 20 Replies

When ever DF's mom wants to do something together, we do it. I'm always calling her, letting her talk to our twins (2) on the phone, they more just babble but she enjoys just hearing them. We live about 15 minutues apart and we see her everyweek. When DF says he wants to go see her, we go. I don't put up any fight. I go and have a good time and we invite her over for dinner. My parents have never been over for dinner.

My parents live about 30-45 minutes away from us and While DF is at work ( I'm a SAHM) I try to go see my family. When I ask him on the weekends if he wants to come with me, he says " no you can go but I think I'll go see my mom." and my parents have NEVER done anything wrong to him. They try so hard to make him feel like family. My mom helps us out with diapers and a little money here or there when its tight.

but his mom, makes more money then we do, but blows it all on beer and smokes so much and she is always asking for money! They use to be a family with a lot of money. But she invested it all into a con and the guy ran off with all her money. Now that she is living on SS and her late husbands pention, she still spends money like she is rich. We are living paycheck to paycheck but DF is always giving her money. She wants us to buy brand new tires for her car and when I suggested used tires she had a FIT. and now she wants us to buy her a lawnmower. WE DONT HAVE MONEY FOR THIS!

Anyways, my mom suggested (we live in florida) that we spend the night at the beach this weekend and she would pay for everything. Our OWN hotel room ,food, anything extra we want to do but DF still said no........

He said I can take the twins by myself and go and he will go hang out with his mom.

Everything in me wants to say OKAY! WHATEVER! but I wont have a good time.
What can I say to make him realize what he does to me and my side of family.
Why would he say no to a free weekend vacation?!

And my parents NEVER tell anyone they give us money, they never make us feel bad when we need a little help. He's always there to take it! has NO problem taking it, but when they want to spend some time together, he doesnt want to.



Posted by Anonymous on May. 24, 2013 at 9:06 AM
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Replies (1-10):
HappySquirrel
by on May. 24, 2013 at 9:09 AM
2 moms liked this
Explain to him very clearly that its not a one way street. What he's doing isn't fair at all.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 24, 2013 at 9:09 AM
4 moms liked this
What I would do is stop going with him when he wants to go see his mom. Invite your family for dinner, if he doesn't like the idea then say no next time he wants to invite his mom.
bonitalilmama
by on May. 24, 2013 at 9:10 AM
It's one thing to be a mommas boy but to not want to spend time with someone who helps you out occasionally is not ok, is he the shy type? If not tell him what your telling us, that your parents trying to get to know him as family
Two_Hearts
by on May. 24, 2013 at 9:12 AM
1 mom liked this

If he is already like this , i would be worried that it wasn't going to change...

He sounds like he is self absorbed where this is concerned and wants you to take part in his family , but he has no interest in taking part in yours.

That would be a huge issue for me , and one that would make me rethink if i want to share the rest of my life with this man...but that is just my views on it.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on May. 24, 2013 at 9:14 AM

You are with a mama's boy,  it will never change.  So either make your piece with it or leave....sorry!

MrS.GiFFord
by Platinum Member on May. 24, 2013 at 9:15 AM
You need to tell him what you just told us. Communicate your feelings.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Bethsunshine
by on May. 24, 2013 at 9:16 AM



Quoting Anonymous:

You are with a mama's boy,  it will never change.  So either make your piece with it or leave....sorry!


This.

TurtleMomma82
by Ruby Member on May. 24, 2013 at 9:17 AM

Talk to him about how you feel.

eta- you aren't married yet....if things don't change, you can always move on.  Sounds like you deserve someone who is more devoted to you.

brandydesiree
by Platinum Member on May. 24, 2013 at 9:19 AM
I couldn't be with someone like that. I'd voice my concerns and if it didn't change immediately, I'd be gone.
lexiloo714
by Platinum Member on May. 24, 2013 at 9:20 AM
Why did you begin a relationship with a mama's boy in the first place?
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