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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

My 17 year old is getting married UPDATE

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 602 Replies
1 mom liked this

Last year my XH were going through a nasty custody battle involving all three of my  kids. My DD was 16 at the time and was sick of the fighting so she went to a lawyer to see what her options were. Since she had a pretty good paying job (for someone her age) and could afford to get her own place and show that he has financial responsibility she decided to get emancipated. We tried to fight it of course but since the custody battle was already so messy the judge emancipated her. We were of course devastated but there was nothing we could do. She moved into an apartment with her cousin. I begged her to come and live with me. But she wanted her freedom and there was nothing we could do. I cried and cried for months but she seemed to be doing well she kept out of trouble my niece kind of told me a lot of what was going on so I finally came to terms with it because there was nothing I could do anyway and she was supporting herself and loving it. 

Now she is 17 and last night at dinner she announced that her and her long term bf Mark are getting married. I literally started choking on my food. I didn't know what to say. Don't get me wrong Mark is a really great boy and they are good together but I never thought they would get married so young. I have been best friends with Mark and his parents since I met them at Lamaze class when I was pregnant with my DD and Mark's mom was pregnant with him. We have been good friends since and Mark and my DD have been the best of friends all through their life. They grew up together, we all went on summer vacations together, Mark and my DD started "dating" at 14 and have been together ever since. If she was marrying him in 5+ years I would be so happy but I can't seem to be happy about this. 17 is so young and even though they have been the best of friends their whole lives marriage is a HUGE step. I just don't know what to do or say. There is nothing I can really do to stop them. I just feel so devastated.  I don't want to say anything that will push my daughter away and resent me but I am not sure I can be very supportive either. I just feel lost. 

ETA: I will always be there for my daughter but I just don't think I can be the excited jumping up and down so excited over the marriage like I would be if she was older. Not sure if that makes much sense. 

ETA2: the reason it was an ugly custody battle was because my drug addicted alcoholic ex husband was fighting for custody and I was NOT going to let that happen. I had to protect my children from him.

Update: The wedding is next saturday. I am more excited about it but still sad that she is taking this step so early

Posted by Anonymous on May. 24, 2013 at 9:16 AM
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Replies (1-10):
starlight91
by on May. 24, 2013 at 9:18 AM
78 moms liked this

You just need to keep your mouth shut and support her or you will lose her forever...

cmeinthelite29
by on May. 24, 2013 at 9:19 AM
1 mom liked this

Do they have a date, a ring, a plan?  My 17 year old niece says she is getting married to every boy she dates.  And I see it on FB with my DD's friends.  I think its the in thing to say with teens.  

Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 24, 2013 at 9:20 AM
1 mom liked this
I'm sure it's hard to accept but the only thing you can do is support her. *Hugs*
mommy2zbg
by Gold Member on May. 24, 2013 at 9:20 AM
4 moms liked this

 this.

Quoting starlight91:

You just need to keep your mouth shut and support her or you will lose her forever...

 

thenameshailie
by Ruby Member on May. 24, 2013 at 9:20 AM
7 moms liked this

You cant change her mind, let the cards fall where ever they may

Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 24, 2013 at 9:20 AM
7 moms liked this
As sad as it is this is exactly what you need to do.

Quoting starlight91:

You just need to keep your mouth shut and support her or you will lose her forever...

Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 24, 2013 at 9:20 AM
13 moms liked this
At this point, you just need to be super supportive. In the eyes of the law, she is an adult and can make this decision for herself. Being negative will only push her away and make her resent you (even if in 5 years it turns out, you were right and she married to young lol). I really hope it all works out for them, what an awesome story if it does....
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 24, 2013 at 9:21 AM

She has a ring but not a date yet. She told me she was thinking of doing it sometime this summer. I don't think they are just saying it. I wish they were but I think they really want to go through with it 


Quoting cmeinthelite29:

Do they have a date, a ring, a plan?  My 17 year old niece says she is getting married to every boy she dates.  And I see it on FB with my DD's friends.  I think its the in thing to say with teens.  



jbirdsladie27
by on May. 24, 2013 at 9:21 AM
6 moms liked this
Support her, let her know you will ALWAYS be there... no matter what
TurtleMomma82
by Barbie on May. 24, 2013 at 9:22 AM
24 moms liked this

Let her live her life and be there for her when she needs you.  She's proved to be responsible.  I know she's young but she's going to have to make mistakes and learn on her own.  Not saying her marriage might be a mistake, but it's her choice to make.

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