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My 16 year old had sex with a 20 year old!

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 241 Replies

My 16 year old son had sex with a 20 year old. They met at a party while he was staying at his dads for the weekend. My ex let me know today almost a full week after it happened. When I asked him what he said to my DS he said he congradulated him. I have never wanted to smack some one so bad. I sat down with my son and asked him about it.  I didn't want to be all yelling and screaming so I tried to keep my cool. I asked him if he used protection, why he decided to be with someone who was so much older than him, and a whole lot of things. He was very honest. He had sex with this girl and one other girl before her and that he had always used protection. He said that he picked this girl because she was hot. I just wanted to cry! He does not have the freedom to go to parties like that when he is staying with me but his dad lets him do anything he wants. I dont know what to do in this situations. If it was up to me I would take away his phone, computer, etc and ground him but I am afraid that if I do that he will decide to go live with his dad full time. He is old enough that our state lets him decide and I dont want him to go and be out of control. My ex is trying to be the "cool parent" so that he will go live with him. I just dont understand how he could be okay with it let alone congratulated him. I am pulling my hair out over this. GAHHHH!

ETA: I can not press charges against the girl. The age of consent here is 16. If it was 17 or 18 I would press charges. In my state it is a misdemanor if they are within 4 years. I would probaby feel differently if she would be put on the registered sex offender list and not press charges. 

Posted by Anonymous on May. 24, 2013 at 10:32 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Aslen
by Ruby Member on May. 24, 2013 at 10:33 AM
3 moms liked this
That's statutory rape. I'd press charges against her!
lovemyirish
by Silver Member on May. 24, 2013 at 10:34 AM
Yikes! Sorry mama!! My girls are 8, 7 and 4. I'm dreading the day when this becomes an issue.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 24, 2013 at 10:34 AM


The age of consent in my state is 16 so it isnt statutory rape. It should be though because what can a 20 year old girl really have in common with a 16 year old boy! It makes me sick 

Quoting Aslen:

That's statutory rape. I'd press charges against her!



Aslen
by Ruby Member on May. 24, 2013 at 10:36 AM
OMG that sucks!

Id find her and ask her


Quoting Anonymous:


The age of consent in my state is 16 so it isnt statutory rape. It should be though because what can a 20 year old girl really have in common with a 16 year old boy! It makes me sick 


Quoting Aslen:

That's statutory rape. I'd press charges against her!





Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 24, 2013 at 10:37 AM
1 mom liked this
My husband was 20 when we met and I was 16...... Been married for 8 years. Sometimes age is just a number. We had / have a lot in common
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on May. 24, 2013 at 10:37 AM
Talk about protection and STD and pregnancy. At this point you know he will be more sexualy active. nothing you can do about it.
cmeinthelite29
by on May. 24, 2013 at 10:38 AM
2 moms liked this


It wasn't rape though, he consented.  He is 16, not 12.  He knew exactly what he was doing.  And the age difference isn't that great.  If it was the other way around, I dont' think most people would have a problem with it.  You can have commonalities with people of different ages.  

I know its difficult to accept that your children are having sex at all.  But its life, not rape.  

Quoting Anonymous:


The age of consent in my state is 16 so it isnt statutory rape. It should be though because what can a 20 year old girl really have in common with a 16 year old boy! It makes me sick 

Quoting Aslen:

That's statutory rape. I'd press charges against her!





Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 24, 2013 at 10:38 AM


My son is not looking for a relationship with this girl...he just had sex with her 

Quoting Anonymous:

My husband was 20 when we met and I was 16...... Been married for 8 years. Sometimes age is just a number. We had / have a lot in common



Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 24, 2013 at 10:39 AM


In other states it would be considered rape. I think that 16 and 20 is a very big age difference. 

Quoting cmeinthelite29:


It wasn't rape though, he consented.  He is 16, not 12.  He knew exactly what he was doing.  And the age difference isn't that great.  If it was the other way around, I dont' think most people would have a problem with it.  You can have commonalities with people of different ages.  

I know its difficult to accept that your children are having sex at all.  But its life, not rape.  

Quoting Anonymous:


The age of consent in my state is 16 so it isnt statutory rape. It should be though because what can a 20 year old girl really have in common with a 16 year old boy! It makes me sick 

Quoting Aslen:

That's statutory rape. I'd press charges against her!







laranadtony
by Ruby Member on May. 24, 2013 at 10:40 AM

Press charges. That is statutory rape.

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