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How much is too much?

Posted by on May. 24, 2013 at 11:10 AM
  • 22 Replies

Hi everyone, I am struggling with how physically intimate my partner likes to be with other females (they are all close friends of his). He will hug them and give them back massages and touch them playfully (a pat on the shoulder). I have been hurt in the past and have a hard time trusting men. I get jealous easily. I am just wondering what normal physical intimacy between friends looks like and what I should worry about. Thanks.

by on May. 24, 2013 at 11:10 AM
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Replies (1-10):
kaylaybaby666
by on May. 24, 2013 at 11:11 AM
None of my SO's gave a chick friend massages. To me thats over stepping boundaries
cLanief
by on May. 24, 2013 at 11:12 AM
What you described sounds normal friends. Calm down. Not everyone is a douchebag cheating loser.
mem82
by Platinum Member on May. 24, 2013 at 11:13 AM
Idk Rob doesn't really hang out with chicks. The ones that he does aren't close friends so there is no touching.
-42-
by Ruby Member on May. 24, 2013 at 11:13 AM
Eh, I would think that if you've told him calmly how much it bothers you, he would stop no matter how innocent his intentions.
squocket
by on May. 24, 2013 at 11:17 AM

That's just it. I did tell him and we have fought about it several times. The result is that he has abandoned certain friendships for me. I feel more comfortable in our relationship, but I know that it hurt him tremendously to stop having a friendship with these women. I feel very guilty and selfish, but I am too scared to try to help him reconnect with them.


Quoting -42-:

Eh, I would think that if you've told him calmly how much it bothers you, he would stop no matter how innocent his intentions.



BrainFarts
by on May. 24, 2013 at 11:19 AM

Massage is a little much, unless that is his job and he is getting paid.

-42-
by Ruby Member on May. 24, 2013 at 11:20 AM
1 mom liked this
But the thing is, it shouldn't have to be all or nothing. You're not telling him to drop his friends, right? You're just asking him to not be so touchy feely with them?

Because if he's taking the 'I just won't be friends with that person anymore' route, I would think he would resent you. And that doesn't lead to anything good.


Quoting squocket:

That's just it. I did tell him and we have fought about it several times. The result is that he has abandoned certain friendships for me. I feel more comfortable in our relationship, but I know that it hurt him tremendously to stop having a friendship with these women. I feel very guilty and selfish, but I am too scared to try to help him reconnect with them.



Quoting -42-:

Eh, I would think that if you've told him calmly how much it bothers you, he would stop no matter how innocent his intentions.




squocket
by on May. 24, 2013 at 11:23 AM

Yeah, I am worried about the resentment.


Quoting -42-:

But the thing is, it shouldn't have to be all or nothing. You're not telling him to drop his friends, right? You're just asking him to not be so touchy feely with them?

Because if he's taking the 'I just won't be friends with that person anymore' route, I would think he would resent you. And that doesn't lead to anything good.


Quoting squocket:

That's just it. I did tell him and we have fought about it several times. The result is that he has abandoned certain friendships for me. I feel more comfortable in our relationship, but I know that it hurt him tremendously to stop having a friendship with these women. I feel very guilty and selfish, but I am too scared to try to help him reconnect with them.



Quoting -42-:

Eh, I would think that if you've told him calmly how much it bothers you, he would stop no matter how innocent his intentions.






squocket
by on May. 24, 2013 at 11:37 AM

Bumping my own post because I want more opinions if I can get them.

owl0210
by Sapphire Member on May. 24, 2013 at 11:38 AM
I'd be all set with that shit. Any guy who does that and in front of their girlfriend is a disrespectful asshole.
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