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I have no emotional connection to my unborn child.

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 58 Replies

I don't hate my child, but I don't feel love for it either. I feel nothing. I have prayed to God to change my heart, I keep a smile on my face everyday, I try to be optimistic. But it is not working. I feel a lot of guilt and shame for being like this. I see so many moms struggle with infertility, even some of my friends, and I feel so badly for them, and I feel like a horrible mother. I would give this child up for adoption, to a family who could give it so much more than I can, but I don't have a choice. There is no point to this post other than this is the only place I can say this. 

Posted by Anonymous on May. 24, 2013 at 12:15 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 24, 2013 at 12:18 PM
Is this your first? Do you think things will change after you actually see and hold your baby? And I'm sure you are not the only one. I kind of felt that way with my second but that all changed the second I heard him cry.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on May. 24, 2013 at 12:18 PM
I felt the same way when I was pregnant. It was difficult because everyone was so excited and I could see how much they loved their own children, but I just did not feel it.
OwlNuggets
by HAIL NUGGY! on May. 24, 2013 at 12:19 PM
2 moms liked this

I didn't either, the love grew on me.

I felt absolutely no attachment until only a couple weeks before my due-date.


I'm not afraid to admit this.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 24, 2013 at 12:20 PM

No and I don't know. I have other children and have been married for some time. I've enjoyed my other pregnancies so I feel even more guilt for feeling this way. 

Quoting Anonymous:

Is this your first? Do you think things will change after you actually see and hold your baby? And I'm sure you are not the only one. I kind of felt that way with my second but that all changed the second I heard him cry.


whoopsie16
by motherknowsbest on May. 24, 2013 at 12:22 PM
1 mom liked this
how far along are you? if it helps, I felt that way about ds until he was about 6mo. there's plenty of moms who feel that way until they see how beautiful their baby is. do you have other children?

hows you living situation? maybe you're turned off by the idea of having a child in your current situation? ETC: *I* was 6mo. along.
mommy13573
by Bronze Member on May. 24, 2013 at 12:22 PM
1 mom liked this
It's really common to feel this way. I did with ds, in fact I still suffer from ppd. It's gotten way better though. I can even tell you I felt that way until about 2 months ago. We have an excellent connection now. And I was so guilty thinking i would never get to have that motherly love for him. You can pm me if you want. I'm here to talk.
crazyitalian
by on May. 24, 2013 at 12:22 PM
I had no connection until I heard her cry, and I instantly fell in love, I was worried during my pregnancy I only told my dh how I truly felt
13579nlm
by on May. 24, 2013 at 12:22 PM

It's normal to feel that way.

Dungonecrazy
by Gold Member on May. 24, 2013 at 12:23 PM
When pregnant with my second, I felt the same. Maybe it was because my SO and I at the time hit a rough patch, I don't know, but I remember becoming so desperate I did look into adoption. But when she was born, feelings changed, but I did suffer post partum depression after that. My baby just turned 3 two days ago, and I couldn't imagine not having her in my life. Every now and then I feel guilt for ever having those feelings and thoughts, but I can't let that guilt ruin the bond I have with her now. Hugs hun, PM me if you need more of a vent session.
lydias_mommy12
by Silver Member on May. 24, 2013 at 12:25 PM
I felt the same way until my daughter was born and I could see her. Then when she was born she swallowed fluid and couldn't breathe and was in the nicu for a week. She has a tongue tie that we didn't know about at the time too so I felt like such a huge failure. I would cry every time I saw her until the day we took her home. We connect through co sleeping. I know the dangers but its our bonding time.

It will be OK. Just wait until your baby is here and you can hold him or her. I'm sure you will feel a connection then. Good luck.
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