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I love you BUT your just sooo fat!

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 26 Replies

Ok before you judge I love my husband and would never leave him over his weight, but he has gained A LOT of weight since we met and I no longer find his sexually attractive. When we met he was just out of the Navy and while he is a bigger guy and was a little over weight I found him very attractive. Now 7 years later he went from the low 200's to over 300 pounds and still gaining.

I love him to death and I still sleep with him of course, we are on our 5th child and when I'm not pregnant we do it atleast 2-3 times a week if not more. I haven't talked to him about it because I don't want to hurt him, I love him but I'm just not turned on by him anymore.

Are you still turned on by your husband?

Would you talk to him nicley if his weight was becoming a problem?

(And just so you know it's not just weight from getting older, he refuses to eat healthy! I'll buy icecream cause I'm pregnant and he'll eat the whole thing on me before I get to it, or he'll sit down and eat pure junk as a meal. I've tried to get him to be healthy with me, but he say's he wants to and then I end up the only one working out or cutting calories...and I'm small so I really don't need to be doing that I do it to help support him in his journey to better health)

Edit: The reason I'm mentioning sexual attraction more than health is because he points out that i don't seem to be attracted to him and I'm starting to feel guilty because I'm really not! It's starting to feel like even though I love him he deserves someone who sleeps with him because she wants to and not just because she loves him. He is a cute guy and the weight is the only reason he's not getting me all hot and bothered.

Posted by Anonymous on May. 24, 2013 at 2:49 PM
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Replies (1-10):
davnrori
by Platinum Member on May. 24, 2013 at 2:53 PM
2 moms liked this

 Yes, I'm still turned on by my husband except when he annoys me. He actually weighs less now than when I married him. However, I would be totally grossed out if he weighed 300lbs. 1. He would crush me. 2. If we were doing it in a way that he wouldn't crush me, he'd have to rest his belly fat on my back. 3. If we were doing it in a way that wouldn't crush me and he wasn't resting his belly flap on my back, I would have to be doing the splits. *shudders* No, that's gross. I doubt my DH would find me attractive if I suddenly gained 150+lbs. I would also be seriously worried for DH's health. It would be a bad situation all the way around.

Elle.tea.22
by Emerald Member on May. 24, 2013 at 2:54 PM
If mine got fat he can lose it or I will leave him. I won't force myself to sleep with someone I'm not attracted to.
Val99
by on May. 24, 2013 at 2:56 PM

I would be more concerned about his health, especially with 5 kids.  I hope you have him loaded up with life insurance.

thenameshailie
by Emerald Member on May. 24, 2013 at 2:57 PM

My honey is still a fox. Why dont you use his poor health as the focus of your discussion? If you do the grocery shopping and cooking, make it all healthy etc.

Pnukey
by on May. 24, 2013 at 2:57 PM

My DH also went from the low 200's to 300 pounds. We talked a lot about how it is affecting him and what health problems to expect. I still love him and would hate it if he got skinny all of a sudden, however....you really do need to talk to him about it. DH now has high blood pressure and diabetes. They are a PITA to deal with. He has since lost about 20 pounds, and it helps, but it's just a start.

It really is in your approach to the situation. Only you know the right way to gently talk to your DH about it, but hopefully you can get through to him before the medical problems start, which they inevitably will.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 24, 2013 at 2:59 PM

It is a touchy subject but you could explain the health risks and tell him you and your children want him around for a while, if he keeps up the poor eating habits he won't be. Also, he is probably setting a bad example for your children.

daisybaby91
by on May. 24, 2013 at 2:59 PM

Mine has gained 25-30 lbs really quickly since I've been pregnant.

But if he were ever to be 300 lbs, I would have a hard time being attracted to him. I'm sure it would be the same vice versa.

Coconutty4Hubby
by Cafe Goddess on May. 24, 2013 at 2:59 PM

I told my hubby and he started working out. Just talk to him?  BTW, when I go munch on ice cream at 1am, my DH tells me I'm going to get fat. It's helpful, and I don't mind (cause i eat it anyways, I just work out harder/longer the next morning, lol).

Be a team, work out with him!

armywifey26
by Krissy on May. 24, 2013 at 3:00 PM

I wouldn't have to tell him. My DH is very aware of his weight. If he gains then he will be obsessed until he loses what he gained. I am the one with a weight problem. But I already have plans for that

gigis1
by on May. 24, 2013 at 3:00 PM
Don't buy junk anymore, help him as much as you can. That's so unhealthy sounding
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