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Cutting off ties with Grandma

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 32 Replies
My mother is selfish, abusive, and controlling. I'm to my breaking point with her. My kids love her which is probably the only reason I deal with her. She ran up $20, 000 in my name and calls me today to tell me about two trips she will be making in the next 6 months. I've given her 4 years to fix this debt either by transfering onto another card or getting a loan, but the debt remains. I want to cut ties and I cant bring myself to press charges, but I'm having such a hard time since she is still my mom. I've read about others cutting themself off from their families I'm wondering how I can bring myself to do this also. I feel like such a doormat.
Posted by Anonymous on May. 24, 2013 at 10:22 PM
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Replies (1-10):
dalbax2
by Gold Member on May. 24, 2013 at 10:27 PM
1 mom liked this

In all honesty....I would press charges.  It's pretty obvious she has no intentions of paying you back.  She is pretty much rubbing that in your face by bragging about the 2 trips she is going on.

JanineDeer
by Janine on May. 24, 2013 at 10:27 PM

I feel so bad for you.    I guess you don't have to cut her out of your life but protect ALL your money.  and harden your heart about giving her any more.  

Take precautions.... tell her that you will NOT hesitate to press charges if she ever commits any sort of fraud and forgery using your info.....

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 24, 2013 at 10:31 PM
I didn't give it to her.. she opened a card in my name when I was 16. I asked chase bank how that was even possible, but they said it happens. I closed the card and they told me my only option of clearing my name is to press charges. She says she was trying to build my credit.. that her intentions were good. Now my credit is crap and I don't even have a credit card. My dh has had to have everything in his name.
inspain
by Platinum Member on May. 24, 2013 at 10:38 PM

I cut ties with my narcissist mother nine months ago.  Best thing I've ever done.  She's no longer interfering with my marriage, sniping about my husband, bitching at my DD or making my household her own little kingdom.  

I know I will be a target to her, her mortal enemy really, until the day she dies.  While this makes me uncomfortable, I feel better about it now that I don't have to deal with it from day to day.  But, honestly, I won't totally exhale until I know she's crossed over to the other side.  

Suzy_Sunshine
by on May. 24, 2013 at 10:40 PM

If you cannot pay your mother's debt in full today you need to press charges.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 24, 2013 at 10:43 PM
No I can't pay it in full. If I pressed charges I'm assuming I would have to hire a lawyer and I can't afford that either. Plus I'm having a hard time "breaking up" with her I doubt I could press charges. I'm pathetic.


Quoting Suzy_Sunshine:

If you cannot pay your mother's debt in full today you need to press charges.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 24, 2013 at 10:46 PM
How did you do that? I feel like I need tips and steps lol. She is the only family I have besides my dh and kids so it's really hard.


Quoting inspain:

I cut ties with my narcissist mother nine months ago.  Best thing I've ever done.  She's no longer interfering with my marriage, sniping about my husband, bitching at my DD or making my household her own little kingdom.  

I know I will be a target to her, her mortal enemy really, until the day she dies.  While this makes me uncomfortable, I feel better about it now that I don't have to deal with it from day to day.  But, honestly, I won't totally exhale until I know she's crossed over to the other side.  


Miss-B
by ‚ô•Divalicious‚ô• on May. 24, 2013 at 10:47 PM
Me personally I wouldn't cut ties or press charges.
ryansmommy07
by Silver Member on May. 24, 2013 at 10:51 PM
I ending things with my mother 2 months ago its easier with time ! You'll feel way better after a few months ! I do !
dalbax2
by Gold Member on May. 24, 2013 at 10:51 PM

 If you want to rebuild your credit then you really have no other choice.


Quoting Anonymous:

I didn't give it to her.. she opened a card in my name when I was 16. I asked chase bank how that was even possible, but they said it happens. I closed the card and they told me my only option of clearing my name is to press charges. She says she was trying to build my credit.. that her intentions were good. Now my credit is crap and I don't even have a credit card. My dh has had to have everything in his name.


 

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