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Even though my bio grandma would probably want to know... I can't call her...

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 28 Replies
1 mom liked this

When I was 2 years old, my bio mother left me with my father and his mom to raise. She left and she never looked back. Never sent a birthday card, never made a phone call, never sent any money at all to ensure I was fed, or clothed, or had toys, or anything.

When I was 14, my grandma found out I had been being abused, badly by my stepmother, who came into my life at the age of 4. She had beat me for 10 straight years, and I never told anyone, because I was scared. She was threatening me the entire time, telling me to go ahead and tell someone, she would break my cats necks, kill my grandmother at her home a town over, and murder my dad by the time the police showed up. She was crazy and I believed her so I didn't tell. The only way my grandma found out what was going on was when my stepmom beat me incredibly badly, packed my shit and left me at grandma's house, she wasn't home either she was working as a waitress which had very late hours. I sat there from 2PM til 2AM on her doorstep in a dangerous part of the city.

Grandma got custody of me and things went better. She was a mother to me, and she died 5 years ago. After she died, I had a friend who told me I should find out my bio mother's side of things. So I looked her up and low and behold I found her.

She got me in touch with HER mother. Who is sweet and wonderful for the most part. But my bio-mom has issues for lack of a nicer word. She is supposed to be on medications for things like bipolar disorder, severe depression, PTSD, and more. She was happy to hear from me, and at first things were ok. Than she decided she didn't need her meds, went off them and cursed me out on the telephone, telling me she hated me and should have had an abortion and I should have died, and the time I almost died, from a severe case of flu as a tiny baby she never should have rushed me to the ER and should have allowed nature to take it's course. She admitted herself to a hospital for 6 weeks, where she lived and learned she needed her meds. I felt that was great she cared enough to do that for me, but it happened again, 4 months later where she said more cruel, fucked up things.

I told her to never call me again. At the time, my grandma and I were still speaking. But one night, at 2AM, she called me over and over and over. She called 23 times, in a time period of like 12 minutes. I called the cops, and explained it to them. They agreed to doing a welfare check on her, and also told her that I could and would get a restraining order, and would sue her for harrassment. They told her I could do all of this, I would do all of this, and with a restraining order she could never call me again. She stopped calling and hasn't called since. My grandmother got very angry and stopped talking to me saying I should not have called the cops.

Now I am pregnant with twin daughters. I want to call my grandma, but if I do, either she will not talk to me, or even worse, she will TELL my mother, who will call here and call here and call here. Maybe she will go off her meds and tell me how I should have died, or how I was the worst mistake she ever made.

My mother in law has said I should call her, she is old and would really want to know. My husband says this is a very bad idea. I know it is a very bad idea. I cannot handle bio-mom's shit while I am pregnant. But I do feel badly for my bio-grandma, she is 87 and she won't be around much longer.

What would you do?

Posted by Anonymous on May. 24, 2013 at 11:53 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 24, 2013 at 11:54 PM

sad

msjaxon
by Platinum Member on May. 24, 2013 at 11:55 PM
1 mom liked this
Call her but keep mom blocked
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 24, 2013 at 11:56 PM

Honestly, I would just leave it.

smack05
by Silver Member on May. 24, 2013 at 11:58 PM
Can you write her a letter
joeynwillsmom
by Silver Member on May. 24, 2013 at 11:59 PM
Is your number still the same? Does bm have it? Maybe send her a birth announcement after they're born so no one gets your number and can harass you, but she will know about her great grandkids.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 24, 2013 at 11:59 PM

She will get $30 worth of quarters and head to a payphone if I block her. She will head to a neighbors and borrow their phone and call me nonstop. She has headed to the store, and gotten a track phone. She will head to a different pay phone. Or call me from her husband's phone, or go to her sister's home and get her to let her use the phone. It's never ending.


Quoting msjaxon:

Call her but keep mom blocked



metalmomma86
by on May. 24, 2013 at 11:59 PM
I would call grandma or go to her. You don't have to tell her your address or anything. Just tell her your good news. It will make you feel better.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 25, 2013 at 12:01 AM

She lives on the other side of the country.


Quoting metalmomma86:

I would call grandma or go to her. You don't have to tell her your address or anything. Just tell her your good news. It will make you feel better.



bellawomen
by Summer on May. 25, 2013 at 12:01 AM
I would write her. Ignore phone calls from your mother, period.
metalmomma86
by on May. 25, 2013 at 12:03 AM
1 mom liked this
Well then going to her isn't probable..lol
Call her. If you are worried about your mom finding out how to get a hold of you, then block your # before you call


Quoting Anonymous:

She lives on the other side of the country.



Quoting metalmomma86:

I would call grandma or go to her. You don't have to tell her your address or anything. Just tell her your good news. It will make you feel better.




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