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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

i'm having a REALLY hard time.

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 39 Replies

i posted a few weeks ago, about losing my kids.

their father has custody now. and i'm having a REALLY hard time. i havent posted here about the subject since that day. dont wanna be a whiner. dont wanna be a downer.

but i'm breaking here. i need someone to talk to. i need support, because it is killing me. i have seen them some. i have talked to them some, but its not the same. i am missing so much. their feild trips- i wasnt there. their feild days, i wasnt there. their last day of school was yesterday, and i called to talk about it. they were gone to grandmas for the night. i feel like i'm really losing them. losing their love for me. loosing our bond. my 2 yo wont even cuddle me when i see her. the cuddles are gone. i know my ex gets cuddles. " atleast you get to see them" is the argument. seeing my kids for an hour every few days is NOT the same. i was a sahm for 6 years until like a year ago. when i got divorced. started working. i'm tired. i'm trying. and i wanna cry and hide in a closet. i dont wanna get out of bed. i find myself not wanting to be around people. smiling happy people wanting to talk about shit. i'm angry. i want to be left alone. i want the world to go quiet. i want my kids. i want my kids. i want to scream. everyone is saying " counceling" what good is that going to do? i cant afford it, i dont have the time too. talking to a stranger trying to convince them that i'm not a bad parent isnt going to get me my kids back. i lost them because this world is unfair. our country is unfair. our justice system sucks. crying in a room to someone that gets paid to listen to me isnt going to fix things. it wont let me get hugs, and the ability to kiss painful boo-boos. i'm lashing out pretty bad. i really do want to be left alone. its overwhelming. and i cant make it stop. i keep saying " just give me 5 minutes. leave me alone, quit talking to me." people are getting mad. nobody understands. i think i cant do this.

Posted by Anonymous on May. 25, 2013 at 2:32 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 25, 2013 at 2:35 AM
How come you can't see kids more or do not have custody? Either way I'm sorry! :(
ashleighmama
by Silver Member on May. 25, 2013 at 2:36 AM
Oh man, Im so sorry, I cant even begin to imagine your pain. Im just so sorry.
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angie729
by Ruby Member on May. 25, 2013 at 2:37 AM

Hugs....I wish I knew what to say...

firebird78
by Lilly's mom on May. 25, 2013 at 2:38 AM
I'm so sorry. :( I have had a similar situation before.
(I just am not going to explain on here and get bashed)
kaybear123
by Gold Member on May. 25, 2013 at 2:40 AM

I'm so sorry ((hugs))

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SJG1013
by SJG on May. 25, 2013 at 2:43 AM

Mobile Photo

So sorry.
ihave1
by Platinum Member on May. 25, 2013 at 2:48 AM

So sorry & HUGS to you.   Not sure why you dont have them, but dont give up tyring to get them back!  You cando it.  Stay strong for  them if not for your self.     

britadams10
by on May. 25, 2013 at 2:49 AM

i cried almost through this entire post : ( i am so sorry.. i could only imagine how you feel and even then it's not the same..i am really really sorry, idk what to say..

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 25, 2013 at 2:54 AM

and so is mad at me right now. i keep snapping at him, and i dont know why. i dont know how to explain to him that i need some time. some space to be alone with my own thoughts. hes trying, but i want to be able to like sit for an hour, a day, with my own thoughts. no conversation, not worrying about staying cheerful for him. i wanna just sit and zone out.

HotMomma2622
by Gold Member on May. 25, 2013 at 3:02 AM
1 mom liked this
Hugs.
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