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sometimes being a mandated reporter SUCKS

Posted by on May. 25, 2013 at 3:04 AM
  • 28 Replies

I am a mandated reporter, so I have to report any suspected abuse whether at work, school, public, or home.  It is SO hard to not see something done about it though when it is very obvious that things are wrong.

I have reported my neighbor (lived below me) MANY times, but nothing seems to be happening and its SO frustrating.  Not to mention she is the sister of the apartment complex manager, although they seem to have a very strained relationship.  I have reported them for actually seeing her physically abuse her son, verbally abusing her son, and other abuse happening in the home.  The are up all hours of the night, jamming music to the point it wakes us, shakes things on our walls, and child is up as well.

One night her apparent ex-girlfriend showed up to see the son's father there and the current girlfriend.  I don't know what happened, but there was suddenly a LOT of screaming, even a sliding glass door window was shattered.  The son (at the time age 2) was walking around in just a diaper on the glass and screaming and bleeding because his feet were cut.  Apparently one of the female (gf or ex-gf) became mad and threw hot oil on the other which sent the burnt woman screaming and running, shattering the glass door.  They were all screaming on the patio, someone mentioned pulling a gun, etc.  Police were called, everyone was arrested, son was taken by ambulance to the hospital.  Not sure what happened after that, but the mother and son showed up 2 weeks later.  This was about 9 months ago and there now appears to be 2 other young girls (maybe ages 3-5) living there.  I wouldn't know if there were any adults there as there are so many people that run in and out of there at all hours.

Well tonight my son (9) and I were coming home and just as we rounded the corner and her son (now age 3 1/2 maybe 4) was outside with his pants down peeing in a bowl.  We were walking up the stairs and the mother comes out the door and smacks him him the head and starts screaming things about 'make sure you dump your bowl when you are done.'  'if you get piss on your feet or hand you won't be allowed back in the house.' 'hurry the fuck up you fucking brat.'  She then kicks him in the back of the leg and he falls onto his knees into the bowl of urine.  She pulls him up by his hair and starts screaming at him again.  I finally said something to her and she of course screams at me.  She tells the boy to dump his bowl by the flowers and go back to his room.  He says he is not done peeing and she grabs him by his arm and practically throws him in the apartment and slams the door behind them.

Obviously I call the police and report what happened.  They came - 6 hours later - and talked to them and came to talk to me and asked me to wake my son to question him.  The police officers then tell me the child doesn't appear to be in any danger or a hostile environment, but that our neighbor is really mad at me.  I don't care.  I looked at them just stunned.  They then told me if I felt the need to follow up with a CPS report.  CPS is already aware of her.  When I called the very first time, but actually told me they were aware of her from past experience.  How can they just allow this child to live in this hell hole?  I have called another report into CPS and my personal contact at CPS to see if some REAL investigating can be done.  This mother needs some support in hopes she can parent better.  That child deserves SO much better, even if that means finding another family for him.  It is so frustrating to me to see there is an issue, but even after many reports nothing is done to help this child.

by on May. 25, 2013 at 3:04 AM
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Replies (1-10):
BelleVernonGirl
by Gold Member on May. 25, 2013 at 3:10 AM

I see stuff like this all the time to...I hurts my heart..

RoseBlossom
by on May. 25, 2013 at 3:13 AM

yep my df has called cps on his ex but to no avail. his ex has had cs called on her 14 times already, some by her own mother. but nothing is ever done. she even let an ex convict who was convicted for typing up and raping an old woman into her house with thier at the time 7 year old daughter who was almost raped that night. did cps take her? nope

mrsrodgers0703
by Ruby Member on May. 25, 2013 at 3:17 AM
That is so incredibly sad..
RyansMommie07
by on May. 25, 2013 at 3:19 AM

id call cps now. tell them everything, and hope they come out tonite. maybe the cops cant take the kid without cps present. if the kid doesnt look in danger they may not take them, but not all cops are trained like cps workers are trained. they may not notice signs that would be obvious to a cps worker. also, the neighbor may have played nice since she knew you saw what she did. my heart sinks for that child. no one deserves to be treated that way

briellesmomma
by Velvet on May. 25, 2013 at 3:20 AM
That's so messed up :(
tysmommy98
by on May. 25, 2013 at 3:22 AM
I am one too. I know about this. I saw my sons classmate attacked by her stepdad. This was just after they got her back from CPS. They did nothing. They were in kindergarten at the time. She kept saying how she wished I was her mom. I did too. The teacher called. I called. Nothing happened.
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jadedcynic
by Nerdalicious on May. 25, 2013 at 3:42 AM

They have too many cases to remove children in cases of emotional abuse. Generally priority is given to physical abuse that would cause serious injury or death. Messy houses, yelling, name calling are considered to be signs that the parent needs parenting classes and resources, not removal.

firaerty
by on May. 25, 2013 at 3:49 AM
As a pediatrician we report to CPS a lot and unfortunately the law is very slow and too many times by the time they do something it is too late. Of course due process needs to be followed they cannot just remove children but is perhaps too slow of a process
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bellawomen
by Summer on May. 25, 2013 at 3:49 AM
She is physically abusing him. She is making him apparently pee in bowls outside. She hit him today and even kicked him. Previously he has many cuts on his feet from glass when they all got in a huge fight.

I have never been in her house to say if it is messy or clean.


Quoting jadedcynic:

They have too many cases to remove children in cases of emotional abuse. Generally priority is given to physical abuse that would cause serious injury or death. Messy houses, yelling, name calling are considered to be signs that the parent needs parenting classes and resources, not removal.

bellawomen
by Summer on May. 25, 2013 at 3:54 AM
I called CPS to report and left a message on the personal phone of someone I know who works in CPS but isn't designated for my area. She works in conjunction with early Intervention where I used to work. I am hoping she can offer some resources or referrals.

Cops have a special number for emergent cases and whoever is on call comes out. They didn't call CPS, but said they can have a report filed 'for a later date' if I felt it was needed. I told them yes. I am hoping both of our reports will help, but it hasn't in the past. :(


Quoting RyansMommie07:

id call cps now. tell them everything, and hope they come out tonite. maybe the cops cant take the kid without cps present. if the kid doesnt look in danger they may not take them, but not all cops are trained like cps workers are trained. they may not notice signs that would be obvious to a cps worker. also, the neighbor may have played nice since she knew you saw what she did. my heart sinks for that child. no one deserves to be treated that way

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