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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Am I being unreasonable?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 181 Replies

MIL is 66 years old and has basically no money. She has a car and a couple thousand to her name but that is it. She doesn't work. She is usually well enough to but she does get sick often and has to call off work and ends up getting fired and at her age, it is very hard to find a place that will hire her. She gets SS but it's not nearly enough for her to live on (even in the apartment she was in) and her and FIL (who died 2 years ago) had no savings.

There was nothing else to do, we had her move in with us 3 months ago. She doesn't have to work and the SS she gets is for her. She uses that for her car insurance, gas, personal spending and health care costs. Most of her money goes to health care costs. The only thing we asked was that she do the house work (minus the upstairs vacuuming because she can't get the vacuum up the stairs easily, our laundry and the cooking, she sucks at cooking). She is also not expected to clean the kids rooms or pick up after the kids, if they leave stuff laying around, they are to pick it up. So basically that leaves the sweeping, moping, dishes (we have a dish washer) and basic kitchen clean up, vacuuming downstairs, dusting the living room and cleaning the 3 bathrooms, one is a half bath (not including mine and dh's, we don't expect her to clean those).

She never does any of it. I come home and she has done maybe one or two things. I look on the nextlix instant history and it will show 6 or 7 hours worth of shows watched. We have 5 kids and us and MIL in a 5 bedroom home. This means that 4  of our 5 of our kids share a room, before MIL moved in, only the youngest 2 shared. Our income didn't go up because she has moved in so we are defiantly having to budget better. Seeing how much we are all doing for her, isn't it reasonable that she does the housework?

She says that beause I don't work, there is no reason why I can't do some of the house. First of all, I do, I do all the laundry (including hers)that's laundry for 8 people. all the cooking, the vacuming upstairs and all the grocery shoping. Plus because her living here has raised our bills (grocery, water, and electricity) by over $300 a month, I have to spend even more time doing things to save money (shopping several different stores for sales, cutting coupons. 

Am I being unreasonable?

Posted by Anonymous on May. 25, 2013 at 5:03 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 25, 2013 at 5:03 PM

BUMP!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 25, 2013 at 5:06 PM
1 mom liked this
No your not. Tell her she can figure it out or sleep in her car
LizzieAnnesMom
by ☆Mrs.Winchester☆ on May. 25, 2013 at 5:06 PM
2 moms liked this
No you arent. I would let her know that she needs to start pulling her weight or we will have to find other living arrangements.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on May. 25, 2013 at 5:07 PM
13 moms liked this
Its your house. You should clean it. She is old. She should keep her own room and bathroom she uses clean. As well as do her laundry. Other than that I dont see how she is responsible for cleaning your home. Esp as you dont work. Pls explain why she should now be your maid.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on May. 25, 2013 at 5:09 PM
2 moms liked this

Wow so you have babsically taken your MIL who obviously has health issues in as your live inmaid??  WOW you are being extremely unreasonable and just plain hateful.  I hope for your sake your children don't remeber this so when your older and need help they don't treat you the same way.  Would you be acting this way if it was your mother and not MIL?  I doubt it.

evelynolivesmom
by Gold Member on May. 25, 2013 at 5:09 PM

 Not at all.

erinsmom1964
by Gold Member on May. 25, 2013 at 5:10 PM

PLEASE show me where you can get a live in maid for just 300 bucks a month??  I WANT ONE!!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on May. 25, 2013 at 5:10 PM
I don't think you're being unreasonable. Especially since she's living there rent free, getting her laundry done for her and her meals cooked for her.
ripemango
by Platinum Member on May. 25, 2013 at 5:11 PM

maybe if she gets sick often she can't do what you think she should. the level of physical ability can vary among 66 year olds. did you agree to this arrangement before she moved in?

regardless, it's a discussion for her and your husband...best if you just stay out of it.

if she is able to help out, maybe ask her how she would like to contribute. Personally, if it was my mom I wouldn't expect her to do a damn thing. If she wanted to help out around the house and it made her feel like she was contributing, then fine but there is no way I would require it in order for her to stay with me. She moved in bc she needed help, not the other way around.


I don't know where the sunbeams end and the starlights begin; it's all a mystery.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on May. 25, 2013 at 5:11 PM

Yes, you are being unreasonable expecting her to basically clean your house at her age.


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