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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Mom I am getting married so I can have sex!

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

I saw the other post about the 17 year old and it reminded me of what happened with my daughter. When she was 18 she came to me saying that she was going to get married so she wouldnt feel guilty for having sex with her boyfriend. They had been together through high school and were high school sweet hearts but didn't know eachother through their whole lives. I was shocked at what she was saying and so disapointed. My DH and I had taught all of our children about sex and how to protect themselves. We said that waiting until marriage is a really good idea but that if they felt they were ready beforehand that was normal. I had sex before marriage with my DH and my DD knew this. I sat down and we had a heart to heart about her future. I told her that things don't always work out. I told her that I felt that breaking up after sex for whatever reason was much better than having to go through with a divorce. I never thought I would be telling my daughter that it is better to have sex before marriage but there I was. 

SHe is now 28 and happily married to another man. They did have sex and were together for another year but went their seperate ways. She met her DH when she was 22 and they are great together. She thanks me for the advice.

What would you have said? 

Posted by Anonymous on May. 25, 2013 at 9:14 PM
Replies (31-40):
HunnyBabie
by Silver Member on May. 26, 2013 at 1:09 PM

This is an impressive story of responsible parenting and an inspiring story of sticking to your guns.

(you the first part; your son the second)

Kudos to both of you!!!


Quoting Anonymous:

This is pretty much what we've told our kids too! I also showed them what STD's look like such as herpes! I also made them read the symptoms of the different STD's and how some of them like herpes and HIV there is NO CURE!! I have 3 teen boys right now. They are all proud to admit they are still virgins and plan to stay that way until their wedding night! I am so proud of them!! They have a lot of friends who are teens that are still virgins as well! :) Thanks to my oldest son's example, a girl at his school has remained a virgin! She was dating this guy who was trying to pressure her into having sex! He gave her the old line' EVERYONE' is doing "IT!!!" She said, "Not "D"!!!! He's waiting until marriage!! (My oldest son is very popular in High School and a lot of kids look up to him). This guy went and talked to my son and asked him if he was still a virgin, and he admitted he is! The guy respected my son and stopped pressuring the girl he was dating!!



Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on May. 26, 2013 at 1:11 PM
I would have done the same thing
Andreaaa81
by on May. 26, 2013 at 1:21 PM

 

This is interesting because I am thinking of converting to Islam. There are things that agrees with this post and things that totally disagree with it. Not to say that you are wrong and I am right etc...just interesting.

The part about it being better not to marry because it complicates things.....(This is not a mean challenge, I just want information) Where does it say that in the bible? Imma google it!

Quoting HunnyBabie:

I would tell my daughter that (like you did) it's natural to want to have sex before you find the right person for the lifelong commitment of marriage, but that it's best to wait to have sex until you find the right person to make that lifelong commitment to.

This is what I would tell my DD b/c we are Christians.  Therefore, we believe that it is wrong (and several sciences have proven that much trouble comes from it) to have sex with someone you are not married to.  We also believe (according to the Bible, words that Jesus said Himself) that divorce is not something that God approves of; therefore, one MUST be EXTREMELY careful in choosing whom one marries.  Additonally, the Bible also teaches that Christians are better off if they do not marry b/c it complicates life so much (especially when children come into the picture, which was essentially a foregone conclusion at the time) but that it is better to complicate one's life with spouse and children than it is for one's focus to be on sexual desire instead of the Will/Plans of God.


 

zianneaaliyah
by 4ever LMFAO on May. 26, 2013 at 1:30 PM

I would have told my daughter the same thing, especially since she was technically an adult.  Wanting to have sex is not a good reason to get married.  

Anonymous
by Anonymous 7 on May. 26, 2013 at 1:30 PM
Good for you! My mom told me "You test drive a car before you buy it, right? You do the same thing with someone you think you would marry. It's easier to break up than divorce. I have condoms in my drawer and I'll pay for your birth control until you're 18. Make an appointment!"
Hallelujah for her advice and for yours!
HunnyBabie
by Silver Member on May. 26, 2013 at 1:31 PM

Paul said it to the Corinthians.  Do you have a Bible?  The quote is "it is better not to marry" and the reference is 1 Corinthians 7:9; however, Jesus talks about it too in Matthew 19:10.
PS: I googled it too; IDK the references book, chapter, and verse like some. ;-)


Quoting Andreaaa81:


This is interesting because I am thinking of converting to Islam. There are things that agrees with this post and things that totally disagree with it. Not to say that you are wrong and I am right etc...just interesting.

The part about it being better not to marry because it complicates things.....(This is not a mean challenge, I just want information) Where does it say that in the bible? Imma google it!

Quoting HunnyBabie:

I would tell my daughter that (like you did) it's natural to want to have sex before you find the right person for the lifelong commitment of marriage, but that it's best to wait to have sex until you find the right person to make that lifelong commitment to.

This is what I would tell my DD b/c we are Christians.  Therefore, we believe that it is wrong (and several sciences have proven that much trouble comes from it) to have sex with someone you are not married to.  We also believe (according to the Bible, words that Jesus said Himself) that divorce is not something that God approves of; therefore, one MUST be EXTREMELY careful in choosing whom one marries.  Additonally, the Bible also teaches that Christians are better off if they do not marry b/c it complicates life so much (especially when children come into the picture, which was essentially a foregone conclusion at the time) but that it is better to complicate one's life with spouse and children than it is for one's focus to be on sexual desire instead of the Will/Plans of God.





RandRMomma
by Maya on May. 26, 2013 at 1:33 PM
I don't know. I'll cross that bridge when I get there.
FL2AK
by on May. 26, 2013 at 1:33 PM
I would have said what you did. We just teach our kids to wait until you are in a serious long term relationship with someone you love before having sex. I would like them to wait until they are out of high school.
Leissaintexas
by Platinum Member on May. 26, 2013 at 1:36 PM

Whats wrong with practicing some self-restraint? I'm just playing devils advocate here, but shouldn't we try to teach our young people that we're not animals, that as humans we have the power to practice self-denial? I think it would be a great way of teaching character and discipline.  Just curious what the thoughts were about this.

Andreaaa81
by on May. 26, 2013 at 1:40 PM

 

Used to have one, but now I am turned off by Christianity. Too many different versions of the bible in my opinion and I am not believing that Jesus is God. But everyone has their own beliefs.

Quoting HunnyBabie:

Paul said it to the Corinthians.  Do you have a Bible?  The quote is "it is better not to marry" and the reference is 1 Corinthians 7:9; however, Jesus talks about it too in Matthew 19:10.
PS: I googled it too; IDK the references book, chapter, and verse like some. ;-)

 

Quoting Andreaaa81:

 

This is interesting because I am thinking of converting to Islam. There are things that agrees with this post and things that totally disagree with it. Not to say that you are wrong and I am right etc...just interesting.

The part about it being better not to marry because it complicates things.....(This is not a mean challenge, I just want information) Where does it say that in the bible? Imma google it!

Quoting HunnyBabie:

I would tell my daughter that (like you did) it's natural to want to have sex before you find the right person for the lifelong commitment of marriage, but that it's best to wait to have sex until you find the right person to make that lifelong commitment to.

This is what I would tell my DD b/c we are Christians.  Therefore, we believe that it is wrong (and several sciences have proven that much trouble comes from it) to have sex with someone you are not married to.  We also believe (according to the Bible, words that Jesus said Himself) that divorce is not something that God approves of; therefore, one MUST be EXTREMELY careful in choosing whom one marries.  Additonally, the Bible also teaches that Christians are better off if they do not marry b/c it complicates life so much (especially when children come into the picture, which was essentially a foregone conclusion at the time) but that it is better to complicate one's life with spouse and children than it is for one's focus to be on sexual desire instead of the Will/Plans of God.

 

 

 

 


 

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