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Mom I am getting married so I can have sex!

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

I saw the other post about the 17 year old and it reminded me of what happened with my daughter. When she was 18 she came to me saying that she was going to get married so she wouldnt feel guilty for having sex with her boyfriend. They had been together through high school and were high school sweet hearts but didn't know eachother through their whole lives. I was shocked at what she was saying and so disapointed. My DH and I had taught all of our children about sex and how to protect themselves. We said that waiting until marriage is a really good idea but that if they felt they were ready beforehand that was normal. I had sex before marriage with my DH and my DD knew this. I sat down and we had a heart to heart about her future. I told her that things don't always work out. I told her that I felt that breaking up after sex for whatever reason was much better than having to go through with a divorce. I never thought I would be telling my daughter that it is better to have sex before marriage but there I was. 

SHe is now 28 and happily married to another man. They did have sex and were together for another year but went their seperate ways. She met her DH when she was 22 and they are great together. She thanks me for the advice.

What would you have said? 

Posted by Anonymous on May. 25, 2013 at 9:14 PM
Replies (41-50):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 26, 2013 at 1:44 PM

Well we ARE animals. 

Quoting Leissaintexas:

Whats wrong with practicing some self-restraint? I'm just playing devils advocate here, but shouldn't we try to teach our young people that we're not animals, that as humans we have the power to practice self-denial? I think it would be a great way of teaching character and discipline.  Just curious what the thoughts were about this.



HunnyBabie
by Silver Member on May. 26, 2013 at 1:48 PM

I'm turned off by what "christians" have allowed modern American society to do to Christianity.

Versions of the Bible; as long as it has all the books and you can understand what it says, it's good.  I like English Standard Version, but I was raised in the Episcopal (sp) church and I like the language and that it's not old English like the King James Version.  Most ppl find the New International Version easiest to understand.  Someone did a version in street lingo; IDK what that was called, I think there are several now.  Anyway, as long as you have a relationship with God, the Holy Spirit is where the revelation of truth comes from, not which precise wording is used.

I'm curious, why are you doubting that Jesus is God?


Quoting Andreaaa81:


Used to have one, but now I am turned off by Christianity. Too many different versions of the bible in my opinion and I am not believing that Jesus is God. But everyone has their own beliefs.

Quoting HunnyBabie:

Paul said it to the Corinthians.  Do you have a Bible?  The quote is "it is better not to marry" and the reference is 1 Corinthians 7:9; however, Jesus talks about it too in Matthew 19:10.
PS: I googled it too; IDK the references book, chapter, and verse like some. ;-)


Quoting Andreaaa81:


This is interesting because I am thinking of converting to Islam. There are things that agrees with this post and things that totally disagree with it. Not to say that you are wrong and I am right etc...just interesting.

The part about it being better not to marry because it complicates things.....(This is not a mean challenge, I just want information) Where does it say that in the bible? Imma google it!

Quoting HunnyBabie:

I would tell my daughter that (like you did) it's natural to want to have sex before you find the right person for the lifelong commitment of marriage, but that it's best to wait to have sex until you find the right person to make that lifelong commitment to.

This is what I would tell my DD b/c we are Christians.  Therefore, we believe that it is wrong (and several sciences have proven that much trouble comes from it) to have sex with someone you are not married to.  We also believe (according to the Bible, words that Jesus said Himself) that divorce is not something that God approves of; therefore, one MUST be EXTREMELY careful in choosing whom one marries.  Additonally, the Bible also teaches that Christians are better off if they do not marry b/c it complicates life so much (especially when children come into the picture, which was essentially a foregone conclusion at the time) but that it is better to complicate one's life with spouse and children than it is for one's focus to be on sexual desire instead of the Will/Plans of God.









Andreaaa81
by on May. 26, 2013 at 1:54 PM

hmmm Well, how can God be a person on Earth? I also don't believe that he is the SON of God either. For God to have a begotten son is considered blasphemous in Islam. To beget means to produce through sexual intercourse. Ok Jesus is a miracle of God, and a prophet but I can never agree with what christians believe in this regard. I just discovered over the past year that this makes me NOT a Christian. So I have decided to convert.

(I realize there are many people reading this thread and rolling their eyes. I am  not trying to convince anyone of anything. Just trying to explain myself)

Quoting HunnyBabie:

I'm turned off by what "christians" have allowed modern American society to do to Christianity.

Versions of the Bible; as long as it has all the books and you can understand what it says, it's good.  I like English Standard Version, but I was raised in the Episcopal (sp) church and I like the language and that it's not old English like the King James Version.  Most ppl find the New International Version easiest to understand.  Someone did a version in street lingo; IDK what that was called, I think there are several now.  Anyway, as long as you have a relationship with God, the Holy Spirit is where the revelation of truth comes from, not which precise wording is used.

I'm curious, why are you doubting that Jesus is God?

 

Quoting Andreaaa81:

 

Used to have one, but now I am turned off by Christianity. Too many different versions of the bible in my opinion and I am not believing that Jesus is God. But everyone has their own beliefs.

Quoting HunnyBabie:

Paul said it to the Corinthians.  Do you have a Bible?  The quote is "it is better not to marry" and the reference is 1 Corinthians 7:9; however, Jesus talks about it too in Matthew 19:10.
PS: I googled it too; IDK the references book, chapter, and verse like some. ;-)

 

Quoting Andreaaa81:

 

This is interesting because I am thinking of converting to Islam. There are things that agrees with this post and things that totally disagree with it. Not to say that you are wrong and I am right etc...just interesting.

The part about it being better not to marry because it complicates things.....(This is not a mean challenge, I just want information) Where does it say that in the bible? Imma google it!

Quoting HunnyBabie:

I would tell my daughter that (like you did) it's natural to want to have sex before you find the right person for the lifelong commitment of marriage, but that it's best to wait to have sex until you find the right person to make that lifelong commitment to.

This is what I would tell my DD b/c we are Christians.  Therefore, we believe that it is wrong (and several sciences have proven that much trouble comes from it) to have sex with someone you are not married to.  We also believe (according to the Bible, words that Jesus said Himself) that divorce is not something that God approves of; therefore, one MUST be EXTREMELY careful in choosing whom one marries.  Additonally, the Bible also teaches that Christians are better off if they do not marry b/c it complicates life so much (especially when children come into the picture, which was essentially a foregone conclusion at the time) but that it is better to complicate one's life with spouse and children than it is for one's focus to be on sexual desire instead of the Will/Plans of God.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


 

HunnyBabie
by Silver Member on May. 26, 2013 at 2:04 PM

It is good that you recognize what you believe and stand on it!

I'm not one of those rolling their eyes (I agree they're out there).  I am firm in my faith in the Bible as a Christian; and I believe that you should be firm in your faith, whatever it is.

I appreciate you're expalining yourself to me!!! :-)


Quoting Andreaaa81:

hmmm Well, how can God be a person on Earth? I also don't believe that he is the SON of God either. For God to have a begotten son is considered blasphemous in Islam. To beget means to produce through sexual intercourse. Ok Jesus is a miracle of God, and a prophet but I can never agree with what christians believe in this regard. I just discovered over the past year that this makes me NOT a Christian. So I have decided to convert.

(I realize there are many people reading this thread and rolling their eyes. I am  not trying to convince anyone of anything. Just trying to explain myself)

Quoting HunnyBabie:

I'm turned off by what "christians" have allowed modern American society to do to Christianity.

Versions of the Bible; as long as it has all the books and you can understand what it says, it's good.  I like English Standard Version, but I was raised in the Episcopal (sp) church and I like the language and that it's not old English like the King James Version.  Most ppl find the New International Version easiest to understand.  Someone did a version in street lingo; IDK what that was called, I think there are several now.  Anyway, as long as you have a relationship with God, the Holy Spirit is where the revelation of truth comes from, not which precise wording is used.

I'm curious, why are you doubting that Jesus is God?


Quoting Andreaaa81:


Used to have one, but now I am turned off by Christianity. Too many different versions of the bible in my opinion and I am not believing that Jesus is God. But everyone has their own beliefs.

Quoting HunnyBabie:

Paul said it to the Corinthians.  Do you have a Bible?  The quote is "it is better not to marry" and the reference is 1 Corinthians 7:9; however, Jesus talks about it too in Matthew 19:10.
PS: I googled it too; IDK the references book, chapter, and verse like some. ;-)


Quoting Andreaaa81:


This is interesting because I am thinking of converting to Islam. There are things that agrees with this post and things that totally disagree with it. Not to say that you are wrong and I am right etc...just interesting.

The part about it being better not to marry because it complicates things.....(This is not a mean challenge, I just want information) Where does it say that in the bible? Imma google it!

Quoting HunnyBabie:

I would tell my daughter that (like you did) it's natural to want to have sex before you find the right person for the lifelong commitment of marriage, but that it's best to wait to have sex until you find the right person to make that lifelong commitment to.

This is what I would tell my DD b/c we are Christians.  Therefore, we believe that it is wrong (and several sciences have proven that much trouble comes from it) to have sex with someone you are not married to.  We also believe (according to the Bible, words that Jesus said Himself) that divorce is not something that God approves of; therefore, one MUST be EXTREMELY careful in choosing whom one marries.  Additonally, the Bible also teaches that Christians are better off if they do not marry b/c it complicates life so much (especially when children come into the picture, which was essentially a foregone conclusion at the time) but that it is better to complicate one's life with spouse and children than it is for one's focus to be on sexual desire instead of the Will/Plans of God.













la_bella_vita
by Bella on May. 26, 2013 at 2:33 PM
This

Quoting AnastasiaKorsh:

I would have said the same thing.

Good thing she listened to you!

ausomezombie2.0
by Silver Member on May. 26, 2013 at 2:35 PM


Quoting AnastasiaKorsh:

I would have said the same thing.

Good thing she listened to you!

macbudsmom
by Platinum Member on May. 26, 2013 at 2:35 PM

It often seem like those who wait until marriage, end up marrying young. And I always wonder if thats why... hopefully not.

Momto8kidsyay
by Member on May. 26, 2013 at 2:39 PM
I think it's biblically correct to marry rather than have premarital sex. I would want my child to be sure this is the right person, of course. But I think it's admirable to want to do things in the right order.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 26, 2013 at 2:41 PM
I think its probably true they want to get married as quick as possible so they dont mess up before marriage. At least in my case that was true. I was taught wait until marriage so I engaged at 19,married by 20. Ive been married over 11yrs. I only wish I would have finished college and grown up more before getting married because it was difficult those first few years,we were so immature. But we can both say we have only been with eachother and I like that.


Quoting macbudsmom:

It often seem like those who wait until marriage, end up marrying young. And I always wonder if thats why... hopefully not.


Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 26, 2013 at 2:42 PM

i had sex before i got married .I just ask my son to wait until he is out of high school 

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