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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Mom I am getting married so I can have sex!

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

I saw the other post about the 17 year old and it reminded me of what happened with my daughter. When she was 18 she came to me saying that she was going to get married so she wouldnt feel guilty for having sex with her boyfriend. They had been together through high school and were high school sweet hearts but didn't know eachother through their whole lives. I was shocked at what she was saying and so disapointed. My DH and I had taught all of our children about sex and how to protect themselves. We said that waiting until marriage is a really good idea but that if they felt they were ready beforehand that was normal. I had sex before marriage with my DH and my DD knew this. I sat down and we had a heart to heart about her future. I told her that things don't always work out. I told her that I felt that breaking up after sex for whatever reason was much better than having to go through with a divorce. I never thought I would be telling my daughter that it is better to have sex before marriage but there I was. 

SHe is now 28 and happily married to another man. They did have sex and were together for another year but went their seperate ways. She met her DH when she was 22 and they are great together. She thanks me for the advice.

What would you have said? 

Posted by Anonymous on May. 25, 2013 at 9:14 PM
Replies (91-97):
budgie1117
by on May. 27, 2013 at 7:48 AM
1 mom liked this
My virgin marriage is working out great! Been together 11 years :)


Quoting Lindalou907:

Those "virgin" marriages quite often don't work out. The young age is the main reason I think. So you did the right thing :)


ACrystalLilly
by Member on May. 27, 2013 at 8:06 AM

You took the words right out of my mouth.... I would have said the same thing.  I am glad that things worked out for the situation.

MamaDee83
by on May. 27, 2013 at 8:50 AM

I dunno, I think this whole "don't have sex before marriage" business is not something that works in our society (for the most part) today. Go ahead and have sex before marriage, make sure you and the guy you are involved with can match each other in that respect, as you will be (or are supposed to be) together for a long long time - might as well enjoy it, right? Obviously that's not the ONLY part of your relationship that should be important, but I think that a crappy sex life/incompatibility makes any other issues that come up in a marriage that much harder. Just my opinion, I'm not forcing it on anyone, kthanksbai.

enlightened_24
by on May. 27, 2013 at 8:50 AM

Much of the same, really. I fully believe on living with someone before you get married. There are things you will never know about someone unless you are there 24/7 and I want to know those things before I agree to 'for better or worse.' My most extreme example is: WHat if he chews his toenails in bed?!! That would be a deal breaker for me and there is no way in hell you are going to find that out until its too late. Sex or no sex, living together is where you know if youa re going to make it.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 21 on May. 27, 2013 at 8:54 AM
Id like my kids to wait until they are in a commited relationship. I talk to them about safe sex and waiting. I teach modesty. I teach for them to seaech for mates with same values.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 22 on May. 27, 2013 at 8:55 AM

Well, first it's none of dd business if dh and I had sex before we were married.  Second, if she thinks/believes that she's ready for sex, then she is announcing that she's ready to be on her own.  Be that with her boyfriend or her husband.  I would stress that should she have sex, I hope they are using protection.  I would stress that it's not okay by me, for her to be having sex and living under my roof.

bad_mama2011
by on May. 27, 2013 at 9:12 AM
1 mom liked this

Sex isn't a reason to get married.

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