Is high/special needs.
I didn't always sleep on my left side during my pregnancy, I didn't have a great diet and I went from 150 to 210 pounds during the pregnancy. I was extremely stressed and didn't take my vitamins everyday. I let the doctor induce me 3 days early with no medical reason as to why and then I let them give me an epidural early because I just wanted to sleep.. I was so selfish and so ignorant and immature my daughter is suffering. I didn't push as hard as I should have with the breast milk I should have pumped ever hour. I should have tried harder.. I should have talked to her more worked with her on the floor more maybe then she would be "normal"
Don't get me wrong I love my daughter and I work hard with her and extra needs.. But deep down I know it's my fault she is this way and everytime I look at her and I have this big lump if guilt how do I tell her or anyone this. My ex said it to me the day after she was born. She was getting her blood drawn through a venal puncture and she didn't even wake up. He yelled " well maybe if you had taken all your vitamins and ate better our daughter would be ok!" I was do mad at him and so upset but he's right if I wasn't so selfish and immature maybe my little girl would be struggling and I wouldn't be getting diagnosis after diagnosis waiting and know they are soon going to officially diagnosis her with autism.
She has/ had: jaundice, hip displeasea, treachea melesea, failure to thrive, developmental delays, sensory disorders, high stranger anxiety, trenchea larnegeo melesea, acid reflux, sleep apenmea, low muscle tone. And maybe autism.
There she is my beautiful girl.. I wish I could go back and redo everything so she wouldn't be in this pain :(