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Getting Away with Murder..

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 11 Replies

We live about 800 miles away from our family so we don't see them but once a year (when we go to visit them...my parents are the only ones to come visit us).

Well, we're planning a trip home next month but we haven't told DH's family because it's still up in the air - everything is all set and we're ready for the trip, but DH is having minor surgery today and we won't know if we can go until after his post-op appt and the doctor gives the OK.  We don't want to get people's hopes up because they don't seem to understand our life here doesn't revolve around their life there.

Well, his aunt is one of the most overbearing women I've ever met.  She insists our DD was named after her (they don't even have the same name) and that we had her because she wanted a baby in the family (I got pregnant on BC and using a condom lol).  So now her big thing is she wants to meet her (completely understandable), but insists that we send her to NY for a few weeks so she can build a relationship with this aunt.  Our DD is just shy of 5 months.  I don't even leave her with a sitter while I run to the store, I'm certainly not sending her 5 states away for three weeks!!

So after I said no (actually, I laughed first and then said, "Not a chance in hell.") this aunt went on to tell the rest of the family that I am, in fact, leaving DD with her.  So now the rest of the family is all butt-hurt and calling/texting/emailing us constantly about how rude we are for (1) not telling them we are in the state and (2) letting our DD stay with said aunt and not them.  One cousin went so far as to say that she's going to get a court order to make sure our DD stays with her for a few weeks, too (yeah..okay ::eye roll:: lol).

They're so nuts..it makes me that much more nervous to go visit.  DD is used to our lifestyle here; we have a very good routine, we live a quiet, structured life and his family is very crazy, loud, no structure at all.  I have anxiety just thinking about being around them with her.

Do you have any family members that just irk you like crazy?

Posted by Anonymous on May. 29, 2013 at 6:51 AM
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Replies (1-10):
lilyrose2011
by Silver Member on May. 29, 2013 at 6:55 AM
Wow haha I can't believe she would think you would just send her over there that young. Fudge that!
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 29, 2013 at 7:46 AM

... she actually wants you to send your FIVE MONTH OLD 5 states away for a few weeks? what's she smoking? We'd leave DS with MIL/FIL once a month or so with some BM, to go out to eat and then be back right after.. but no longer than that.. even a day/night... eff no...

ffpm10
by on May. 29, 2013 at 7:50 AM
5 months... Not years, right?

F that! And f her. Tell her she can come visit you for a three day weekend.

And my MIL is batshit crazy. Like Alzheimer's, but she knows she repeats herself ALLLLLLLL the time. It's so annoying. We have the same three conversations. All she talks about is money, and is pissed she never gets the boys overnight, yet refuses to learn their carseats.
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kaybear123
by Gold Member on May. 29, 2013 at 7:50 AM

My whole family irks me no end! Sounds like that aunt my be off the wall definately wouldn't leave dd alone with her!

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alexsmomaubrys2
by on May. 29, 2013 at 7:52 AM

I couldn't live with family like that.

My kids DO go and spend a few weeks every summer with my Aunt, 3 states away. They started when DS was 3 and DD was 2, they are now 7 & 8 and look forward to it. NEXT summer they will both fly by themselves 3000 miles to my inlaws on the other coast and spend a month with them, then a couple weeks with my Aunt. They will be gone for most of the summer.

We feel it is important for them to build these relationships and I highly encourage you to let her stay with those family members when she is older.

3.ang3ls
by on May. 29, 2013 at 7:53 AM
Lol. Yeah whatever lady. My kids have stayed overnight very few times in their life, and my family lives 15 minutes away. Not to mention they were all about four years old before they stayed overnight with one of their cousins.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 29, 2013 at 8:01 AM

I have no problem letting her stay with family in our home state when she's older - maybe a few years old - but not that family member.  For length's sake I didn't include her irresponsibilities, just how much she bugs me lol; she is diabetic but refuses to maintain the proper diet, so three times just this month alone she has passed out because her sugar dropped too low.  One time, before we moved to where we are now, DH and I went to visit her and it smelled terrible but we couldn't figure out what it was.  After a few minutes she exclaimed, "Oh, I didn't feel like getting up during Giada (a cooking show) so I just went to the bathroom, I'll clean it up in a bit."  She pooped herself so as not to miss a show?!  I am not comfortable leaving my child with somebody who can't even take care of herself, you know?  My parents live in the same town and are much more responsible, so I'd be comfortable letting her stay with them and his family can visit her there, under the supervision of my parents, but with his family alone?  No way.

PS..I have sound reason (and DH agrees) why I won't let her stay with anybody in his family (if you want entertainment I can share stores lol).  I trust his sister with her, but I don't trust that she wouldn't let one of the crazies take DD for a day.

Quoting alexsmomaubrys2:

I couldn't live with family like that.

My kids DO go and spend a few weeks every summer with my Aunt, 3 states away. They started when DS was 3 and DD was 2, they are now 7 & 8 and look forward to it. NEXT summer they will both fly by themselves 3000 miles to my inlaws on the other coast and spend a month with them, then a couple weeks with my Aunt. They will be gone for most of the summer.

We feel it is important for them to build these relationships and I highly encourage you to let her stay with those family members when she is older.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on May. 29, 2013 at 8:03 AM
Dh has family like that. They don't see us or our kids. Hell, we don't even send school pics to
Them. Whatever they find out about us is through the grapevine. We certainly don't give them info.
mizz_mindylou
by on May. 29, 2013 at 8:06 AM

 DS,DD,BM..What do these mean?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 29, 2013 at 8:07 AM

DS = Dear Son
DD = Dear Daughter
DH = Dear Husband
BM = Baby's Mother/Breastmilk (depending on context)
BC = Birth Control 

Quoting mizz_mindylou:

 DS,DD,BM..What do these mean?


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