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my family won't meet my bf because I am still married....

Posted by on May. 29, 2013 at 10:15 AM
  • 84 Replies

I left my X and I had NO MONEY. All the money I had I spent on getting my own place. I had to buy all new everything too since he had someone change the locks so I couldnt get any of our (mine and my childs) things.So at THAT time, I didn't have money to get divorced.

THEN he signed up for voluntary deployment. I spoke with a lawyer, he spoke with a lawyer, and they both agreed it was better fo us to wait until he got home to start the divorce process.

X extended his stay, going from a 400 day deployment to 2 consecuive 12 month deployments. He is finally coming back at the end of July. I already paid the lawyer, I am just waiting till he gets back to serve the papers.

My stepmom came into my life when I was 12 and the only child living with my father, so she was a mother figure to me. My boyfriend (of over a year) has a 12 year old daughter that lives with him full time. I want to introduce my family to my boyfriend and his kids. I want to talk to my stepmom about how it was for her coming into a family like ours, advice to give me for how to handle the 12 year old. She (and my father and one of my sisters) refuses to meet him or his kids, or even talk about him or give me any advice because I am not divorced. This really pisses me off.

I did not cheat on my husband. I left him, subsequently met an amazing man who i want to share with my family. But they are acting like I am participating in something evil and wrong. My stepmom was in an abusive relationship (just like my x) before she met my dad so why can't she understand? UGH

am I wrong?

by on May. 29, 2013 at 10:15 AM
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Replies (1-10):
LiesLiesLies
by on May. 29, 2013 at 10:17 AM
So you stayed married for the benefits and now your family won't meet your boyfriend?

Eh I don't agree with what you did...but it's your life. I think your family members are being childish.
Lizard_Lina
by Ruby Member on May. 29, 2013 at 10:18 AM
3 moms liked this
I think that you are not wrong
But I think you should have your business finished prior to starting a new family
Doesn't mean you can't date him
But you should have your old relationship finished before entering into a new serious one
BrownEyedGirl86
by Gold Member on May. 29, 2013 at 10:19 AM
I won't judge your situation but you have to understand your family has feelings they aren't willi to compromise on.
Osstie
by Platinum Member on May. 29, 2013 at 10:20 AM

How long have you been separated?

all2gethernow
by Platinum Member on May. 29, 2013 at 10:20 AM
It's their pergrogative. I get it but they don't. Just give them the time they need. It will probably take awhile. You can't change them, just worry about you and your life. :)
imacafemomer
by on May. 29, 2013 at 10:20 AM

I get no benefits for being married. I did not get divorced because financially I could not. Then when he was about to leave and I could afford it it was the adice of the lawyers not to start the process.


Quoting LiesLiesLies:

So you stayed married for the benefits and now your family won't meet your boyfriend?

Eh I don't agree with what you did...but it's your life. I think your family members are being childish.



imacafemomer
by on May. 29, 2013 at 10:21 AM

March of 2011 I left him.


Quoting Osstie:

How long have you been separated?



imacafemomer
by on May. 29, 2013 at 10:23 AM


it is finished. long finished. I just don't have a piece of paper saying that someone else gave me permission to be done with it.

Quoting Lizard_Lina:

I think that you are not wrong
But I think you should have your business finished prior to starting a new family
Doesn't mean you can't date him
But you should have your old relationship finished before entering into a new serious one



LiesLiesLies
by on May. 29, 2013 at 10:23 AM
2 moms liked this
He's military and you get NO benefits?

He sure gets extra money for being married to you and I'm pretty sure you get health insurance.


Quoting imacafemomer:

I get no benefits for being married. I did not get divorced because financially I could not. Then when he was about to leave and I could afford it it was the adice of the lawyers not to start the process.



Quoting LiesLiesLies:

So you stayed married for the benefits and now your family won't meet your boyfriend?



Eh I don't agree with what you did...but it's your life. I think your family members are being childish.





kitty8199
by on May. 29, 2013 at 10:24 AM
1 mom liked this
You get tricare, you're the beneficiary of his life insurance, BAH, separation pay (you're still married, it's your money too).

Hindsight, your should've called his co, had them allow you to get your things (not legal to lock you out), and you'd have more than likely kept the house, and he'd be back in the barracks since he's no longer married.(separated)


Quoting imacafemomer:

I get no benefits for being married. I did not get divorced because financially I could not. Then when he was about to leave and I could afford it it was the adice of the lawyers not to start the process.



Quoting LiesLiesLies:

So you stayed married for the benefits and now your family won't meet your boyfriend?



Eh I don't agree with what you did...but it's your life. I think your family members are being childish.




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