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IS THIS A RED FLAG?? (dh and children related) UPDATE!!!

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 307 Replies
1 mom liked this

Dh and I were having a conversation about happiness and he said something that made me concerned.  He said that he dont find much happiness in his kids and that hes only happy with them sometimes.  (eyes wide and mouth to the floor) I asked him to please explain.  He only stated that he see how other people are with their kids and he wonders why hes not like that to his.  He said other fathers can go to work and still come home thinking about things to do with the kids but he doesnt think like that.  I tried to listen without speaking hoping that he would continue to elaborate.  I was getting pissed and heartbroken at the same time.  Then he went on to say that he doesnt want to sound jealous but the kids gravitate to me more than him and they could care less if he was there or not.

Now, our 3 children are young all under 7 and they adore their father.  Most of the time hes at work or they are sleep when hes home, so they dont see him alot during the week.  On the weekend the only thing my dh want to do is rest (sit on the couch and do nothing) so that leaves me with the kids doing things and going out by ourselves.

The conversation really bothered me to the core because this is not the man I married.  Actually, hes nothing like I thought he was after I married him. Ive been trying to hang on and hope that it wil get better.   Hes not a bad guy he just have some emotional and maturity issues.

  I had a dd from a previous marriage and she was 9 months when I met dh.  He has been in her life ever since and was more of a father to her than her natural father.  He would babysit and buy diapers etc.  He always wanted to do things with her like the zoo and museums.  I just cant understand where this is coming from.


UPDATE:

First I want to thank you ladies for taking the time to post.  Although over 200 of the replies were the same thing I thank you individually for your advice.  I did get a couple of post that asked why I was so pissed off at what he was saying.  I probably should of gave more of a back story and you all would of understood better.  I did, however, answer the REAL reason I got pissed on page 24 post 240! Again thank you ladies and we will definantly be thinking about counseling and I plan to talk about it with him soon again.

Posted by Anonymous on May. 29, 2013 at 11:30 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Litlmama87
by Platinum Member on May. 29, 2013 at 11:31 AM
48 moms liked this
He's burnt out.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
lucky2Beeme
by Emerald Member on May. 29, 2013 at 11:32 AM
11 moms liked this

 Start planning things to do on the weekends. Make him participate.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 29, 2013 at 11:33 AM

BUMP!

Barronbaby
by Brandi on May. 29, 2013 at 11:33 AM
1 mom liked this
Hes burnt out. It gets better
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 29, 2013 at 11:33 AM

BUMP!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 29, 2013 at 11:34 AM

BUMP!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 29, 2013 at 11:34 AM

BUMP!

rosie211
by Platinum Member on May. 29, 2013 at 11:35 AM
4 moms liked this

Is he depressed? Tired, overworked?

It kind of sounds like there is something going on. Good luck, not much more I can say.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 29, 2013 at 11:35 AM
26 moms liked this
I agree he sounds tired and stressed.

I will be honest I am only happy with our kids sometimes as well. I get tired and stressed and don't always enjoy these little people that have invaded my life. I love them but I am not always happy with them.



lifeglow
by on May. 29, 2013 at 11:35 AM
4 moms liked this
Its not a red flag he sounds a bit jealous. Talk to him more, try to involve him in everything that you and the kids do.
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