Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

My Idiot Friend

Posted by on May. 29, 2013 at 12:01 PM
  • 36 Replies
My best friend in the world, 10 years strong, makes me want to slap her. Her life is determined by her relationship status. I've stood by, mouth shut, as she went from guy to guy to guy, meeting all of them on P.O.F. (Free sleezy dating site). When she started trying to get pregnant by one of them I stepped up and told her how I felt it wasn't a smart idea. Mr Perfect ended up robbing her and leaving her. Did she learn? A month and a half later the newest Mr Perfect had her knocked up and ready to go. And this hilljack didn't do a thing to help her. He wouldn't keep a job and instead chose to play video games and drink beer all day. They moved to a trailer park to live happily ever after. So I said something about taking care of herself better and how she deserves more than a deadbeat who isn't going to be any kind of support to her. Oh and he has a previous child which was taken for child abuse on his part. So we know what kind of awesome father he will be. Know what I got? "He's my family now, we are having a baby, get over it" and then she stopped talking to me for a year. I got a phonecall one day, it was her, she was so sorry she threw our friendship away for this asshole blah blah blah oh and I'm her daughters godmother and would I like to meet her.

So we started hanging out again. Mr Perfect never changed. He abused their daughter (screaming in her face, shaking her, etc.) CPS was called. They did nothing. And he was still living there because "he's her father and she doesn't want to tear them apart". That lasted another 6 months and then he got the boot. Thank god. We had a long talk about making decisions that are in her daughters best interests and learning to think with her brain instead of her vagina, getting herself back on track, getting her bills squared away etc. Dh and I agreed to help with babysitting while she was at work (night shift) Tuesday through Thursday and grandma would take her on Friday and Saturday until she could figure out daycare. It went in one ear and out the other. The next day, she started banging her co manager. When that ended (and ended badly might I add, he started sleeping with one of her other friends) she hopped back on the computer. Every other week she was at some guys house, child in toe, so she could play a rousing game of house and, ya know, get some dick. She would drop her daughter off at my house on Tuesday in a pee filled diaper, clothes dirty and stinking, nails disgusting and full of dirt, ears disgusting.... She looked like she hadn't bathed in weeks. Oh and what has the kid eaten today? A banana. Every day, just a banana. Occassionaly toast. So every Tuesday through Thursday I bath her, check to see if her nails need clipping, brush her teeth, clean her ears etc. We have also begun potty training, and we are the only ones teaching her anything. At 2 she cannot identify her body parts, or say anyone's name but the dogs. So there's that.
She's been making excellent progress, but without mom doing any of it at home, its an uphill battle.

Last month she met a hillbilly, fell in love, and by the third week he had moved in. The only upside to him over her usual choices, he can hold a job.
So last week Dh had to go out of town on business and I don't get home from work early enough for her to drop her daughter off. So we told her she had to figure those three days out. She informed me "someone" from the trailer park would watch her. Great. Yesterday she took the day off, so she took a double today. She walks in my house this morning and I wanted to scream. This little girls ears are practically spilling over with ear wax, that is almost black. Her nails are jagged. She hasn't eaten. Her diaper is full. And she smells like piss and beer. BEER. Why does she smell like beer? A few days ago she learned how to open her own door. Knowing this, my friend did nothing about it and made no efforts to child proof or clean up. The girl woke up, found an open beer bottle, and drank it. She's not sure how much she actually drank vs what spilled on her, but she's sure she ingested some. And then she laughed. Like hahaha kids do the darndest things. I was not amused. She swears the beer was hers, not her boyfriends, but she doesn't drink beer. Never has. She drinks wine. And that's not even the point why didn't you clean that up? I shouldn't be surprised. The trailer smells like cat pee from her outdoor cats coming in and spraying, she's not a fan of daily chores, and its practically like pulling teeth to get her to clean (like something other than picking up) so I shouldn't be shocked, but come on, this is common fucking sense. So she left for work. Her daughter got breakfast. Went to put her on the potty and the kid started screaming, which means nobody has put her on that potty since she was with US 2 weeks ago. Icing on the fucking cake.

If I call cps and she is taken, they will just allocate her to her dad, which is much worse than where she is now. If I say something to her, ill get booted from her life until the newest boyfriend falls through, and I will have no way to know what is going on with my goddaughter.

Wtf do I do? Because I'm at the point of just sign her over to me, and you come visit when its convenient for you.
by on May. 29, 2013 at 12:01 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
notabosley
by on May. 29, 2013 at 12:16 PM
2 moms liked this
Her father has a record for child abuse, call the cops...C'mon now, this baby is being abused.
AuntieM
by Gold Member on May. 29, 2013 at 12:18 PM
Cups won't give the baby to dad because he has a record with them. They might just let you have her since you already care for her and she knows you. But something has to be done. That poor I'd is seriously neglected.
Lizard_Lina
by Ruby Member on May. 29, 2013 at 12:22 PM
Father doesn't live there anymore


Quoting notabosley:

Her father has a record for child abuse, call the cops...C'mon now, this baby is being abused.

Lizard_Lina
by Ruby Member on May. 29, 2013 at 12:24 PM
I agree something has to be done. I'm just scared of where they will place her IF they take her because I have ZERO bearing on those types of decisions. If they don't take her, she will know it was me, and I'm nixed, and she's screwed.


Quoting AuntieM:Cups won't give the baby to dad because he has a record with them. They might just let you have her since you already care for her and she knows you. But something has to be done. That poor I'd is seriously neglected.
CorpCityGrl
by Ruby Member on May. 29, 2013 at 12:27 PM

This baby is being abused.  With the father having a record of abuse, they will not place her with him.  More than likely, they will place her with you - you already care for her and she is familiar with you and your husband and you are showing a genuine concern about her welfare. 

I'm so sorry for this poor child who doesn't deserve to be treated like this by her parents.  It's good that she at least has you.  In all honesty, put this child above your friendship.  Your friend doesn't seem to learn from her mistakes and is nowhere near ready to be a parent, if ever.

AuntieM
by Gold Member on May. 29, 2013 at 12:28 PM
Can you get a lawyer and find out what you would have to do to get guardianship? Maybe, if you get that info you could talk to your friend about it. Otherwise, call CPS. The child's safety is more important than your friend getting upset with you. If she is neglecting her child that much she shouldn't have her. We just went through this with my grandson's mother.


Quoting Lizard_Lina:

I agree something has to be done. I'm just scared of where they will place her IF they take her because I have ZERO bearing on those types of decisions. If they don't take her, she will know it was me, and I'm nixed, and she's screwed.





Quoting AuntieM:Cups won't give the baby to dad because he has a record with them. They might just let you have her since you already care for her and she knows you. But something has to be done. That poor I'd is seriously neglected.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on May. 29, 2013 at 12:30 PM
Your friend is trash. Protect that baby!
happykitty316
by Ruby Member on May. 29, 2013 at 12:31 PM

Offer to have mom sign her over.  If she won't do that, you need to call CPS. 

BellaByrdie
by Platinum Member on May. 29, 2013 at 12:31 PM

Call the cops.  Tell them all of this TAKE PICTURES.  Until something is done.  Do NOT let this baby continue in this.  That poor poor baby.

Leissaintexas
by Emerald Member on May. 29, 2013 at 12:36 PM

Call and report. Just imagine  when someday that little girl grows up and looks you in the eye and says either "Thank you, you saved my life" or "Where the hell were you when I needed someone to speak for me?"  Which scenario would you prefer?

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)