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Guess we're no longer friends!

Posted by on May. 29, 2013 at 12:46 PM
  • 9 Replies

My BFF and I have been distant lately. We'll text each other maybe once or twice every two weeks to check up on each other, but not much else!

We missed her birthday last October (we were supposed to have furniture delivered but instead we had to go pick it up an hour away and we missed her birthday dinner), then she missed my YDD's 1st birthday, then we missed her DS's birthday because MY kid's birthday is the same weekend and my own kid comes first, THEN we missed her DH's birthday because they wanted a party with no kids and we had no sitter!

It's not like we necessarily go out of each others' ways to miss stuff, it just happens! Life gets in the way, y'know?

Well, today is my birthday and I haven't heard a peep out of her all day. Nothing on Facebook, not a text or a call...nothing. I know its early but we're the type to get up early and wish each other Happy Birthday first thing in the morning. I can see her on Facebook now but I guess our frienship is over.

I'm really sad about it :( It's not like I ever try to ditch her, and I know she doesn't try to ditch me...I guess she's tired of the friendship.


by on May. 29, 2013 at 12:46 PM
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Replies (1-9):
2nthensome
by on May. 29, 2013 at 12:48 PM

Friends come and go like seasons.  There could be some other reason she's not acknowledged you on this day.  Don't be so quick to dismiss the friendship.  Reach out to her and ask her what's going on in her life and maybe she will come back with something.

Happy birthday!  May you have a wonderful day!

KTU
by Kim on May. 29, 2013 at 12:49 PM

I have had some lifelong friendships that seem to take a huge effort to keep. I quit trying, but I know how bad it sucks! I'm sorry.

Hope you have a great birthday!!

robibuni
by Platinum Member on May. 29, 2013 at 12:51 PM

I haven't dismissed it. I guess right now, my feelings are just a little hurt. I would ask her to go out, but she's been having back problems lately and is in fact getting a surgery eval tomorrow for spinal surgery. I would go over there but she's got a pretty hectic schedule and I never know when she's gonna be home (two kids in tons of activities, etc).

I'll text her and ask her if she's ready for tomorrow, I guess.

And thank you!


Quoting 2nthensome:

Friends come and go like seasons.  There could be some other reason she's not acknowledged you on this day.  Don't be so quick to dismiss the friendship.  Reach out to her and ask her what's going on in her life and maybe she will come back with something.

Happy birthday!  May you have a wonderful day!



IamDB
by on May. 29, 2013 at 12:52 PM

Well, it's never too late to reach out. If I were your best friend, I'd feel resentful too, if you didn't show up to so many of my events. I'd feel like you're trying to tell me you don't want to be friends anymore. If that's really not the case, you should let her know; I'm sure she'd be happy/relieved to hear that!

Happy Birthday, btw!

MicheleJM
by on May. 29, 2013 at 12:57 PM

You could always call her and say you miss her, can you set a date to get together?  My bff and I miss birthdays all the time because we don't live near each other.  We don't always call either...it's just understood that missing stuff is part of life and eventually someone will call the other and say Happy late birthday or whatever.  I just gave her kids cards, one's birthday has passed, the other one is coming up soon.  She didn't get anything for my ds's birthday...but I've forgotten her kids too when she's remembered mine.  It all evens out and no one gets upset.

robibuni
by Platinum Member on May. 29, 2013 at 1:48 PM

Well, she's missed our events too and I don't hold it against her. When YDD had her first birthday party, she told us they'd be there but cancelled the day of due to some family issues. I understand, and its okay! The only reason we didn't go to her son's birthday was our oldest's birthday was the same day...I don't see how she could be resentful that my own kid comes first.

We've discussed things about each other not being at events and I've told her it's fine, and she's told me "I understand" many times, so if she's being resentful, she's not telling me. I've even asked her recently if she was mad at me and she said no.

I guess I'm unsure what's going on, other than her back being really messed up and needing possible surgery. I already texted her to see how she was feeling.

And thanks for the birthday wishes :)


Quoting IamDB:

Well, it's never too late to reach out. If I were your best friend, I'd feel resentful too, if you didn't show up to so many of my events. I'd feel like you're trying to tell me you don't want to be friends anymore. If that's really not the case, you should let her know; I'm sure she'd be happy/relieved to hear that!

Happy Birthday, btw!



robibuni
by Platinum Member on May. 29, 2013 at 1:50 PM

I agree! Shit happens, but we're still friends, but I'm thinking maybe she doesn't feel that way? I dunno. We only live 15 minutes apart, but with one car and DH working crazy hours, its hard to get away and spend time with her.

Also, we can't really go out since she's having back issues and is going in for a spinal surgery eval tomorrow. We're limited.


Quoting MicheleJM:

You could always call her and say you miss her, can you set a date to get together?  My bff and I miss birthdays all the time because we don't live near each other.  We don't always call either...it's just understood that missing stuff is part of life and eventually someone will call the other and say Happy late birthday or whatever.  I just gave her kids cards, one's birthday has passed, the other one is coming up soon.  She didn't get anything for my ds's birthday...but I've forgotten her kids too when she's remembered mine.  It all evens out and no one gets upset.



beethann
by Platinum Member on May. 29, 2013 at 1:55 PM
I'm sorry, I know the feeling. My bff of twenty years has been strAight up ditching me lately. I have no clue why. I'm just done.
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robibuni
by Platinum Member on May. 29, 2013 at 2:00 PM

I think she thinks we're ditching her since we missed her birthday dinner in October, missed her YDS's birthday and DH's birthday both in April. The only one I genuinely felt bad about missing was HER birthday last October. We just ran low on time and wouldn't make it to her dinner on time, so I had to tell her we wouldn't be able to make it. I apologized profusely.

Her YDS's birthday was the same day as MY ODD's birthday and my kid comes first as much as I love her boys. Her DH was having a birthday dinner later in April and we could've gone but they made it NO kids and she understands we have a hard time finding a sitter.

I understand maybe some resentment, but shit happens, and I've apologized multiple times for missing stuff. She also missed my YDD's first birthday and cancelled the day of.

I hold no ill will but I feel like maybe she does? She also has a bad back and its been giving her a hard time for the last month and a half and goes for spinal surgery eval tomorrow so we haven't been hanging out.

Quoting beethann:

I'm sorry, I know the feeling. My bff of twenty years has been strAight up ditching me lately. I have no clue why. I'm just done.



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