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Am I at risk of losing?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 54 Replies

I have been a single mom for almost 4 years now. My ex and father to my two kids was very abusive to me. I have had a pretty shitty life and I keep hoping for something better to come along. I try to stay positive but not always easy. 


I live in HUD housing first off only been here the past year though. I have always lived in regular paying rent apartments and I have always worked. I do not have food stamps and I do have medical but I pay a co fee though not full Medicaid. I have my own bills to pay and I still pay rent just not so much as full rent. I pay for my own utilities too. 


I started dating this guy I met at college and he seemed nice and better than some of my exes. We have been dating for about 8 months now. He doesnt live with me and he cant stay all the time because of where I live. He does stay and put me at risk a lot though and I keep telling him he needs to stop. He is here all the time to. He goes to school and I just found out his grams lives in HUD housing as well so he cant stay there all the time either. He doesnt work and keeps saying he is getting a job but doesnt. 


He was trying to get my kids to like him at first by playing with them and interacting with them but lately nope he doesnt. He is always complaining that I should upgrade my internet to faster speed. Always complaining that netflix is shit. Wants me to get an AC and I cant afford all that I live within my means. I work and go to school and I do not get child support. He eats here all the time so that is extra food I have to buy that i cant really afford. 


He doesnt ever bother to help me clean or pick up or cook but will complain about what I make! I was sick for almost 2 weeks with the flu and never once did he come by and see me or ask how I feel. He didnt even bother to say or do anything for mothers day. He didnt do nothing or anything for my bday. He didnt do nothing for vday either. He dont help out with anything. He smokes my cigs and dont ever offer to roll them for me even though he smokes them. I can be dead tired and he dont ever say hey go lay down and I got the kids. Nothing!  


This morning my BF was telling my son to take out the dog and asking him why he hadnt done so already, My son was pulling the milk out this morning for cereal and he accidently knocked my creamer out of the fridge my son who is 9 and I was cleaning up the mess he did. Then my son got ready for school and brushed his teeth and didnt have time yet to take out dog. So I snapped at my BF and said hello you just got here and saw what happened you take out the dog or hush up please. My DD is 4 and she dont take out the dog. I have to get her ready for school as well she goes to head start. The other thing is my BF is always reminding my son to take off his shoes when he is coming in and out (which is fine) but seems like thats all he ever says to him walk the dog and take off your shoes. My DD asked if someone could turn on the netflix this morning my son and I were sitting there cleaning up the mess, my BF was sitting there on the sofa and heard he but didnt help her. So when I was done cleaning up the mess I did the TV for her. Just seems like he could be more helpful with the kids after 8m. He helps me by moving furniture or fixing things ( I can do myself but he will help) M son takes out the trash and he could do that since he is here all the time. 


Maybe I am not suppose to expect this kind of stuff from a BF that is here all the time, am I wrong to think he would help with out me having to ask (which I dont ask, sometime kid around) I kid around and say "oh what are you making for dinner?" He saya haha no. Or "why dont you do the dishes for me?" uh haha no he says. 


On the other hand he is nice and he dont yell or hit me. Nicest BF I ever had in that aspect. He can be sweet some times just cant think of anything right now. He dont fight an argue with me, but he does walk away this morning when I was asking legit questions about what he plans on doing (job, no place to live kind of stuff) I dont always feel like he cares. He said he was abused as a kid and beaten all the time. His mom and dad arent in his life because they are a POS. He does have a car and i do not that is a plus but he has all his shit in the car so we dont go any wheres with kids really. I am not sure. I did have a long talk finally with him and maybe give him a chance to correct this or should I just end it? I do not love him and he has never told me he loves me either. So that isnt an issue. We took it slow sort of. He gives me a ride to school after i get my kids off to school. I walk to work on the days I dont have school my job is about a mile up the street. I can take bus to school too. I am just at the point where I dont know what to do. 

I would really like some advice and sorry for being so long. Sorry for any typos or grammar too. Dont feel like going through to fix.  


Posted by Anonymous on May. 29, 2013 at 3:08 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 29, 2013 at 3:10 PM
1 mom liked this
Kick him out. He's a lazy moochers who could really screw things up for you.
IUND
by on May. 29, 2013 at 3:10 PM

Major red flags.  Sounds like he is putting you at risk of losing your housing. 

liss.n.chris
by on May. 29, 2013 at 3:11 PM

He seems like a jerk and a loser, I wouldn't waste my time.  Just because he doesn't yell or hit doesn't mean he's a quality partner.

ksueditz
by on May. 29, 2013 at 3:14 PM

just b/c he's not physically abusive doesn't mean he's a good catch. you deserve someone who treats you, and your children, w/ respect, love, and support. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 29, 2013 at 3:14 PM
He doesnt live with me, just my BF. But TY for your honest opinion.
Quoting Anonymous:

Kick him out. He's a lazy moochers who could really screw things up for you.
angie729
by Ruby Member on May. 29, 2013 at 3:15 PM
He sounds like a free loader. I would kick him to the curb.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 29, 2013 at 3:16 PM


Thats how I feel and what I am worried about. But hey his grams cant get kicked out either, but its ok for me too? 

Quoting IUND:

Major red flags.  Sounds like he is putting you at risk of losing your housing. 


Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 29, 2013 at 3:17 PM
Is he a child? Why does he have to live with someone else?

Quoting Anonymous:


Thats how I feel and what I am worried about. But hey his grams cant get kicked out either, but its ok for me too? 

Quoting IUND:

Major red flags.  Sounds like he is putting you at risk of losing your housing. 


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 29, 2013 at 3:18 PM


TY for your honest opinion. You are right. 

Quoting liss.n.chris:

He seems like a jerk and a loser, I wouldn't waste my time.  Just because he doesn't yell or hit doesn't mean he's a quality partner.


MommyOK
by on May. 29, 2013 at 3:18 PM

You need a NO BOYFRIEND time for a little while.....Hugs! He doesn't sound like a boyfriend material.....

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