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Is it normal I feel this way?! (Long)

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 9 Replies

Ok so when I was a freshman in high school I started dating a junior. He was my best friend's big brother. After we had been together for 5 months, he pressured me into having sex with him..(so I lost my virginity to him)..about 2 weeks later he cheated on my with this girl who is known to be kind of slutty. He told me what happened while we were at school and I cried all day. I was really hurt.. Even though I was hurt I still wanted to stay with him and make things work. Didn't matter because right before my last class he broke up with me in the hall way. A mutual friend of ours (more his friend) spit water in his face right after he did it too. Point is, everyone was mad at him.

The break up was pretty hard because I still had to see him a lot because, again, he is my best friend's brother. He would still flirt with me and kiss me and I was young and dumb and let it happen. Well one day his sister talked to me and was like "****, I love my brother, but I think you can do a lot better for yourself. Don't let him string you a long." So that night I told her brother that if he wasn't going to actually date me that I didn't want anything to do with him because I didn't have the patience to wait for him. Right away he asked me to be his girlfriend. I said yes and was really happy. That was the sumer before school started my sophomore year.

We stayed together and actually ended up living together at my mom's house my Junior year. This was because my mom moved away and wanted me to stay with her. My boyfriend was done with high school and he moved with us. Everything was really good for a while..til about february of 2009. He started freaking out about the smallest things and was always partying with his coworkers. He never hit me but he called me names like "cunt" , etc. I suspected he was on drugs but he always denied it. Eventually I was looking for a way out of the relationship but it was hard because his family was like my own family.

One day when he and I were visiting his parents I found out he had cheated on me the night before with some girl who just had a child. It was pretty much the straw that broke the camel's back. We were in the living room with his parents and the girl's "baby daddy" texted me and told me. I started crying and said "Again?! You cheated again?" His parents hugged me and yelled at him. I broke up with him that night. This was May of 2009. In between May of 2009 and November of 2009 he kept trying to get back together with me. I started dating my now-husband in November. He was a mutual friend of my best friend and I, so my ex-boyfriend knew him very well. When he found out I was dating him he called me crying and saying that he was dying without me. I almost wanted to go back to him, but it was more because I felt bad rather than because I still had feelings.

Well fast foreward to nowish..his sister told me that he admitted to her that he has been doing meth, and he recently was drunk driving and got into a car accident and lost his job (which was a really good job that his dad was telling me he was proud of him about), and he is starting to mess around with the girl he cheated on me with the last time.

I love my husband and want to be with him forever and he is 1000Xs better for me than my ex, but I feel worried about my ex. I also feel angry that he is messing with this girl again. He was with another girl before her, but it didn't bother me. Is feeling like this normal or bad?

Posted by Anonymous on May. 29, 2013 at 6:50 PM
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Replies (1-9):
junebaby11
by on May. 29, 2013 at 6:53 PM
Its normal I think your first guy you give your heart to you will always care about even if u don't want to admit it. I think about the guy I first loved I found him on Facebook im glad he isnt dead hes with some girl and doing good. I thought he'd be dead he was big into the drug scene.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 29, 2013 at 6:57 PM

Bump

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 29, 2013 at 6:58 PM

 

Beause of stuff like this I wish dh was my first, so I wouldn't feel like I'm a bad person for caring , ya know? Idk..

Quoting junebaby11:

Its normal I think your first guy you give your heart to you will always care about even if u don't want to admit it. I think about the guy I first loved I found him on Facebook im glad he isnt dead hes with some girl and doing good. I thought he'd be dead he was big into the drug scene.


 

junebaby11
by on May. 29, 2013 at 7:00 PM
Don't feel bad its a normal feeling just dont dwell on it its pointless theirs nothing you can do. Focus on your relationship with your husband


Quoting Anonymous:

 


Beause of stuff like this I wish dh was my first, so I wouldn't feel like I'm a bad person for caring , ya know? Idk..


Quoting junebaby11:

Its normal I think your first guy you give your heart to you will always care about even if u don't want to admit it. I think about the guy I first loved I found him on Facebook im glad he isnt dead hes with some girl and doing good. I thought he'd be dead he was big into the drug scene.



 


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 29, 2013 at 7:03 PM

 

Thank you. I think I feel bad because I know that if I expressed this concern to my dh then I know he would get upset. He is kind of jelouse of my ex boyfriend because he was my first, but I am dh's first.

Quoting junebaby11:

Don't feel bad its a normal feeling just dont dwell on it its pointless theirs nothing you can do. Focus on your relationship with your husband


Quoting Anonymous:

 


Beause of stuff like this I wish dh was my first, so I wouldn't feel like I'm a bad person for caring , ya know? Idk..


Quoting junebaby11:

Its normal I think your first guy you give your heart to you will always care about even if u don't want to admit it. I think about the guy I first loved I found him on Facebook im glad he isnt dead hes with some girl and doing good. I thought he'd be dead he was big into the drug scene.

 


 



 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 29, 2013 at 7:05 PM

BUMP!

junebaby11
by on May. 29, 2013 at 7:06 PM
Its just a jealously thing im definitely not my dfs first and if I told him about how I still care he'd be upset too, its a part of life and if I could I probably wouldn't have ever talk to my first love he wrecked my teen years


Quoting Anonymous:

 


Thank you. I think I feel bad because I know that if I expressed this concern to my dh then I know he would get upset. He is kind of jelouse of my ex boyfriend because he was my first, but I am dh's first.


Quoting junebaby11:

Don't feel bad its a normal feeling just dont dwell on it its pointless theirs nothing you can do. Focus on your relationship with your husband



Quoting Anonymous:


 



Beause of stuff like this I wish dh was my first, so I wouldn't feel like I'm a bad person for caring , ya know? Idk..



Quoting junebaby11:

Its normal I think your first guy you give your heart to you will always care about even if u don't want to admit it. I think about the guy I first loved I found him on Facebook im glad he isnt dead hes with some girl and doing good. I thought he'd be dead he was big into the drug scene.


 



 





 


dtm1491
by on May. 29, 2013 at 7:13 PM
It's normal to feel concern and want better for him as a person. I wouldn't dwell on it. Just move on.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 29, 2013 at 7:31 PM

BUMP!

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