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i can't make myself cut the lifeline

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 22 Replies
My bf broke up with me last week. It's been long distance bc of his job, and now he's being moved farther, and being deployed again. (army)
It wasn't a bad breakup, it was the distance thing. We planned on getting married, but some reason he flipped out saying he rushed his last one it didn't work so he can't do it again. Like seemed seriously distressed in that conversation. Like I mean freaked out and I didn't even bring up marriage. He sounded terrified of marriage again.

He wants to stay friends. I love the man and can't possibly see my life without him. He's said things that make me question the finality of the breakup that even confuse my guy friends.

He keeps calling. Like every day, never stopped. Called 4 times the day of the breakup. No reason. Just to talk. Now he's back to the good morning good night calls.
I tried not answering. He still calls. I don't have the strength to ignore him.

It hurts so bad. Talking to him feels like we're together. I want him to miss me. He can't miss me if we're always talking. I can't not talk to him.
But I don't want to feel strung along either. I want him back. I know he still cares. It's bad timing. What do I do?
Posted by Anonymous on May. 29, 2013 at 11:21 PM
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Replies (1-10):
casseopeia
by on May. 29, 2013 at 11:26 PM
1 mom liked this

So it was HIS idea to break up, but he keeps calling.  What he is doing isn't fair to you.  It is preventing you from moving on.  You are clinging to the hope that you two will get back together and not getting yourself out there to explore new relationships.

The next time he calls, tell him that you understand that the two of you are broken up.  That means no contact.  Then STOP ANSWERING HIS CALLS.  Give him a silent ring tone if you have to.  Change your number.  Move on.

hp2011
by Ruby Member on May. 29, 2013 at 11:29 PM
There's an app that will block calls but you can still see if he called or not. This May help.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 29, 2013 at 11:30 PM
I really do want it. The problem wasn't us, it's timing. I am torn bc I know it's best to go no contact, but I can't not have him in my life.

Quoting casseopeia:

So it was HIS idea to break up, but he keeps calling.  What he is doing isn't fair to you.  It is preventing you from moving on.  You are clinging to the hope that you two will get back together and not getting yourself out there to explore new relationships.

The next time he calls, tell him that you understand that the two of you are broken up.  That means no contact.  Then STOP ANSWERING HIS CALLS.  Give him a silent ring tone if you have to.  Change your number.  Move on.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 29, 2013 at 11:32 PM
Does it tell them they're blocked?

Quoting hp2011:

There's an app that will block calls but you can still see if he called or not. This May help.
hp2011
by Ruby Member on May. 29, 2013 at 11:33 PM
No

Quoting Anonymous:

Does it tell them they're blocked?



Quoting hp2011:

There's an app that will block calls but you can still see if he called or not. This May help.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 29, 2013 at 11:35 PM
When we got off the phone tonight, he was like, I'll call you tomorrow

Quoting hp2011:

No



Quoting Anonymous:

Does it tell them they're blocked?





Quoting hp2011:

There's an app that will block calls but you can still see if he called or not. This May help.
vegaswife2011
by LMAO on May. 29, 2013 at 11:36 PM


Yep, this exactly. 

Quoting casseopeia:

So it was HIS idea to break up, but he keeps calling.  What he is doing isn't fair to you.  It is preventing you from moving on.  You are clinging to the hope that you two will get back together and not getting yourself out there to explore new relationships.

The next time he calls, tell him that you understand that the two of you are broken up.  That means no contact.  Then STOP ANSWERING HIS CALLS.  Give him a silent ring tone if you have to.  Change your number.  Move on.



svolkov
by on May. 29, 2013 at 11:38 PM
Tell him u need some time to be friends. That its too hard for you right now
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 29, 2013 at 11:39 PM
It really is

Quoting svolkov:

Tell him u need some time to be friends. That its too hard for you right now
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 29, 2013 at 11:44 PM
tell him "my heart is hurting too badly right now to be your friend. just as you said the relationship wont work like this, well the friendship wont work LIKE THIS. i loved you enough to marry you and that hasnt changed for me, but since it has for you i have to do what i need to do to heal and move on, i cant love someone who doesnt love me equally. you have no idea how hard it is for me to ask you this right now bc i want exactly the opposite, but since im not strong enough to ignore your calls, do me a favor and dont call me anymore. its not because i dont want you to, but bc i cant take the pain i feel every time i see your name pop up and i hurt a little more with every phone call. so as the friend you say you want to be, do me a freindly favor and give me some time to heal. when im ready ill call you and we can be friends. i love you and that hasnt changed by itself, so now i have to change it on my own and move on."
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