Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Would you accept this offer?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post



Question: Would you accept the offer?


Absolutely! No questions asked.

Not in a million years!

Yes, but with conditions (Share below)

Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 2094

View Results

We are a family of six, and we live in a small house.  Two parents and four small children in a 1600sqft house- 3 bedrooms, 1 bathroom.  It's beyond cramped.  We never planned to stay here past baby #2, but here we are!  

We have been discussing adding on to this house instead of moving because we love our neighborhood and the people who live here.  The addition would double the size of the house and add 2 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms.  It will cost about $150,000.

My dad just offered me $200,000 toward the renovations to the house.  Look back up.  That's $50,000 more than we anticipate paying.

You know it.... There's a catch!

The catch is that we add an additional bedroom and bathroom and allow my 24 year old brother to live with us.  He is currently living with my mom and dad, and he is driving them nuts.  He is unemployed.  He sleeps all day.  Cooking is his hobby, so he is always in the kitchen making messes that he doesn't clean up.  He buys expensive ingredients with their money.  He backtalks them all the time.  My dad just retired 6 months ago, and my brother is always at home, so dad feels like he doesn't have that nice, peaceful "only person at home" retirement like he planned.  It's crazy.  My husband and I don't have these problems with my brother.  He also ADORES our children and is great with them.  He is always willing to help with them.  He has no problem staying with them while my husband and I go out to dinner or events at the church or kids' school.  The kids think that he is the coolest, greatest uncle in the world.  Truthfully, he is.  Being their uncle is pretty much the thing he is best at.

So, if you were me, would you accept?

EDIT! Holy moly! I made the front page! I don't know how I will ever get through 500+ responses! WOW!
Posted by Anonymous on May. 30, 2013 at 2:27 PM
Replies (861-870):
by on May. 31, 2013 at 11:32 AM
As long as your hubby is on board, I would totally do it because it would help you tremendously! Also, the relationship between brother & sister is different from the one with parents! I'm sure he won't live with you guys forever & yal both would be helping each other! However, being that I'm the oldest sister, I would definitly set ground rules up front to avoid any confusion! Talk to your brother & see how he feels!
by on May. 31, 2013 at 11:47 AM

I would say yes with conditions,  he would need to earn his keep.  If he is good in the kitchen- have him cook and clean in the kitchen instead of pay rent.  Let him continue to watch the kids.  Put restrictions/limits on who he can bring in the house.  What your views are on smoking and drinking in the house with your kids.  Here's the big question- if he is unemployed- no insurance of any kind- who will take care of him when he is ill or injured.  Will you be responsible or will dear ol dad?  There be more to your brother than you know and that is why dad wants to get rid of him.  There are always secrets in family's.  I had no idea my sister was bipolar and schizophrenic until she moved into my house.

by on May. 31, 2013 at 11:55 AM
We are a family of 6 in a house that is 3 bed, bath and a half, and 1,252 square feet.
by on May. 31, 2013 at 12:37 PM
I'm not Sure why you're asking when it sounds like you have already made your decision. If you can live with tge possibility that your baby bro may fail to launch forever, then what's the problem? If, however, you are wanting to succeed where your parents did not and show him life skill, have get a job BEFORE he moves in. Make your own contingencies. No one said you couldn't negotiate. Make it a stipulation that he has to be employed for a certain amount of time before he can move in. You have to get the renovations done anyway. Then treat it like a real apartment so he understands what its like to be on his own. He's family, so its hard to say no, but at some point, we all must learn to take care of ourselves. Good luck!
by on May. 31, 2013 at 12:45 PM

My first response in NO!! But thinking about it. Yes, 

1) Saves you $$ on your remodel.

2) Set conditions and guidelines with your brother (ie.... cleaning up after yourself,  no disrepect in your home and around your children) Explain that your children will be looking to him as a role model since he is the coolest uncle ever. 

3) He is 24.  Suggest he go to college part time or cooking school since he is a) it's a hobby and b) he is propbably really great at it.  Motivate him. 

Good Luck and I hope all wors out. 

by Member on May. 31, 2013 at 12:52 PM

The only reason you don't have those problems with him yet is because he isn't living under your roof and leaving your kitchen a mess.

by on May. 31, 2013 at 12:59 PM
1 mom liked this
We tried it. My mother in law gave us some money to take in my husbands lazy, good for nothing leach of a brother. He was supposed to get a job, he eventually got one, he hardly bathed, ate all our food, made messes, never cleaned up, smoked pot in our house (not against it, just not in my house around my children) thought he could discipline my kids, and ranted about how gay people are created through the media, which is not what we believe. Finally kicked his ass out, and he tried leaching off other people, now he's in jail, for burglary, next probably homelessness. So many younger generations have had everything handed to them, now they can't survive on their own, and their sense of reality if warped. Kick your brother to the curb, let him grow up on his own.
by on May. 31, 2013 at 1:18 PM

I figure yes because in a couple of years (hopefully) he will want to get married and have his own family... 200 thousand is alot of $. Dont pass it up. Thats like winning the lotto!! Good Luck and please let us know how it went!

by Member on May. 31, 2013 at 1:35 PM

If you do it, I would use the extra $50k to make him a studio apartment-type room, if at all possible. Separate entrance and all. And make him sign a lease stating he's not to cook in your house, come in unless invited, has to keep his area clean, etc etc.

by Anonymous 132 on May. 31, 2013 at 1:37 PM
1 mom liked this
All he doing is putting his burden on u an as cool as you think he is that will change as soon as he lives with you an it may cause conflict within ya house.. here is my advice you an ya husband an kids have a small comfortably uncomfortable environment one u change that the family tends to distance themselves.. so tell dad to give Jr the money an let him find his own place an way in the world . Everyone has to grow up at some point in their life an now is a great time for that ... He can visit...
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)