Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Came home to SS having sex UPDATE

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 24 Replies

 

Poll

Question: What should I do?

Options:

Tell your DH

Don't tell DH but sit down and have a long talk with SS about the risks he is taking

Don't tell DH and SS clearly has it covered with being safe so no need for a talk.

other


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 76

View Results

My SS is 17 years old. I came home earlier then usual today. I heard noises coming from SS's room but didn't think much of it  (I thought he was masturbating) until he walks out with his girlfriend. They were both disheveled slightly, clearly just had sex and he was shocked to see me in the kitchen. He took her home and then came back home.I had no idea what to say to him. I mean the fact is, he is 17 years old, he has been with this girl since they were 15, I assumed they were having sex.

When he walked in I just said "did you use a condom?" he said "yes" I said "is she on the pill" he said "yes". Then I said "you know nothing is 100% and if she gets pregnant and keeps the baby, she will be in your life, more then likely, for the rest of your life". He said he knows.

DH will be home tomorrow, he is taking a short trip to see his mom, she hasn't been well. SS lives with us, we haven't heard from his mom since he was 7.

I am not sure I should tell DH or what I should do. I mean I really don't see a problem with it but I know DH will flip out. If I was just a step parent, I would be the first one to say that I don't have the right to keep this to myself but I am not. I am the one who has raised him for the past 10 years. I am a SAHM  with the exception of a small part time job (I teach a couple exercise classes at the YMCA). I treat him no different then my own children so that's why I can even consider not telling DH. I just feel that as long as they are being safe, I don't care. I am not surprised by the fact that he has had sex, like I said, I assumed it would happen soon, if it hadn't already.

UPDATE

After reading the suggestions you ladies wrote, I have decided that I shouldn't keep this from DH. Yes, I don't see it as a big deal but as many said, he has the right to know. And I do agree that if it ever comes out that I knew and kept it from him, then he would be mad at me. However, I don't feel it's right to go tattling on him either, and that's how it would feel. So tonight I sat down with SS for a chat. I told him that I am proud of him for being safe and but that I don't feel right keeping it from DH. But I told him that DH would likely take the news better coming from him. He would probably respect the fact that he told him what he is doing instead of trying to hide it. SS agreed. I don't know how it will go but like I said, I do think DH will take it better if he sees that at least SS is man enough to come talk to him about it.

Posted by Anonymous on May. 30, 2013 at 9:21 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 30, 2013 at 9:21 PM

BUMP!

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 30, 2013 at 9:22 PM

BUMP!

MrsLondon
by Member on May. 30, 2013 at 9:25 PM
1 mom liked this

No matter how long you have been raising him he's still your husbands son first. He needs to know if he doesn't already. If he was a girl would you treat it differently? If your daughter had a boy in the house getting laid would you feel that was okay?

cajun_lady_swla
by on May. 30, 2013 at 9:26 PM
Daddy has a right to be in the loop too. Something that significant being withheld could cause trouble between the two of you. Definitely not something you want.......
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Billsbabygirl
by Silver Member on May. 30, 2013 at 9:26 PM
1 mom liked this
I don't keep secrets from my dh. Chances are if he finds out you knew and didn't tell him he'll be mad.
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 30, 2013 at 9:27 PM

Honestly, if it were my DD and she was 17 it wouldn't bother me much if they used condoms and she was on the pill. I am fully aware that my children will probably not wait till marriage to have sex, all I ask is that they are as safe as they can be if they choose to do so



Quoting MrsLondon:

No matter how long you have been raising him he's still your husbands son first. He needs to know if he doesn't already. If he was a girl would you treat it differently? If your daughter had a boy in the house getting laid would you feel that was okay?



Momof697
by on May. 30, 2013 at 9:28 PM
1 mom liked this

I would tell. How would your DH feel if he later found out and then found out you knew all along and didn't tell him.  I couldn't keep something this big from my DH even though we think differently on a matter I would still tell.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 30, 2013 at 9:28 PM

That's your husband's child and he's fucking in your house. Your dh NEEDS to know.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on May. 30, 2013 at 9:29 PM
Your husband is your husband. Tell him. Don't keep secrets like this from him! Not only is that wrong to do but it will bite you in your ass.
k_hall1784
by Silver Member on May. 30, 2013 at 9:31 PM
1 mom liked this
I wouldn't say anything. For what? All it will do is cause unnecessary problems. I say make sure you sit down with him and have "the talk" and make sure he understands the consequences of his actions. He is 17 not 12. In a few months he will be a legal adult and therefore should start being treated like one.
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)