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He up and changed his mind about our baby

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 34 Replies
I'm pregnant.. And me and my now ex. Pretty much planed this baby. We tried, and tried.. Nothing.. Then when we stoped trying it happened. Everything was cool. Until he decided he's not ready for this anymore. And he left me, pretty much. We have been having issues, but nothing serious enough to make him want to just leave. We had a nasty argument. And he told me he wants nothing to do with me. I'm just going to be a "baby mama" . He wants.nothing to do with our daughter. Its been about 3 or 4 days since this happened. And no calls texts, nothing.. I haven't reached out bc i feel theres no point. But we were going to get married. He was my first and everything.. It wasn't suppose to happen this way.
:'( i have nothing against single mothers.. It's just something i never thought id have to go through. Just venting.... I've been really stressed.. I have a check up app. Next Thursday.. Do i even tell him about the app.? Or just leave him alone? Im really hurt. And sad..... Although I'm hurt, i will nt text, or call him or anything.. He up and changed his mind on something we BOTH wanted. Again... I'm just venting.
Posted by Anonymous on May. 31, 2013 at 1:50 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 31, 2013 at 1:53 AM

I'm sorry hun. Me and my SO weren't planning our baby but the minute I told him I was pregnant he confessed that I was basically just a toy and that this wasn't what he wanted. I got called a bunch of nasty names and he spread it around that I've slept with everyone in town including my own family just to make people see him as the victim. I'm sorry this is happening to you. Hugs.

kels1023
by on May. 31, 2013 at 1:56 AM
1 mom liked this
Maybe the reality just hit him and he got scared? I hope everything works itself out. I know it's scary, and upsetting, but you can do it!
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 31, 2013 at 1:58 AM
Wow.... U know, he plays the victim all the time.. And I'm sure he blames me for whatever has happened in our relationship.. (3yrs)
Idk what to do, how to feel, whats the right.move to make... I'm so crushed... I thought he would never do this to me.. This isn't what i had planes for my daughter at all :'( and I'm sorry that happened to u... I wish i could hugg u bc being abdomen while pregnant or just period by someone u love or whatever is the worst feeling..


Quoting Anonymous:

I'm sorry hun. Me and my SO weren't planning our baby but the minute I told him I was pregnant he confessed that I was basically just a toy and that this wasn't what he wanted. I got called a bunch of nasty names and he spread it around that I've slept with everyone in town including my own family just to make people see him as the victim. I'm sorry this is happening to you. Hugs.


MixedCooke
by Ruby Member on May. 31, 2013 at 1:59 AM

give him some time, some men get really scared of becoming a Father and what that means. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on May. 31, 2013 at 2:00 AM

He's probably scared. I don't know what I would do in this situation :( I guess I might send him a message or text saying when and where the appointment will be. He doesn't have to show up if he doesn't want to. I would try to give him some space. If it turns out he really doesn't want anything to do with you two, then just get child support and leave him alone. Or if you can, have him give up all rights, grant you sole custody so that someday down the road when you meet someone new the new guy can adopt your child if you both wish.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 31, 2013 at 2:02 AM
But it's like.. I'm scared too... And i wouldn't just walk away bc of that... I really thought our relationship was better then that. I honestly never would have thought he would ever act like that towards me. It's not fair.


Quoting kels1023:

Maybe the reality just hit him and he got scared? I hope everything works itself out. I know it's scary, and upsetting, but you can do it!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on May. 31, 2013 at 2:03 AM

This is basically the same thing that happened to my mother after she found out she was pregnant with me. She told my dad and he never spoke to her again. Three months ago I found my dads brother on Facebook and asked him if he would find out if my dad wanted to meet me. The brother spoke with me for hours, he vaguely rememebered that his brother even had a daughter. Here it is 27 years later and I've never met my dad. Oh, and yea, he said he never wants to meet me either. It sucks, but that's life.

LadyGrey2514
by on May. 31, 2013 at 2:04 AM
I'd let him know about the appointment. It's a huge new responsibility to take on, knowing you're going to be responsible for a child, some men get scared in that situation.
Keep him involved with the baby stuff. Maybe he'll come around, if he doesn't, at least you know you tried.
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ElitestJen
by Ruby Member on May. 31, 2013 at 2:05 AM

It's something you'd never thought you would go through?  How's that?  You planned to be a single parent.  Like you said, you tried and tried. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 31, 2013 at 2:06 AM
But at first he was all happy.. N kept telling me how excited he was.. And just trying to play the family role... And one argument... He just says he doesn't want this anymore... I don't get it at all.. Its like he had a front the whole dam time.. I'm scared too, but that doesn't mean I'm going to treat him the way hes done me.....


Quoting MixedCooke:

give him some time, some men get really scared of becoming a Father and what that means. 


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