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i hate this..and no clue how to deal with it

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 11 Replies
So I used to be really tight with my dad and my sister. I say used to be, cause, well, I just don't think it's there anymore. My dad has.always been an awesome granddad. Always made sure he spent equal time with all the grandkids ( I have 3 kids, my sis has 2). But since my niece was born - she's two now - things have become progressively more one sided. We used to see my dad at least two weekends a month. Now - maybe once every other month or so. But he's at my sisters darn near every weekend. She only lives 15 minutes away from me. We can't all get together sometimes? Would it be so hard to swing by here while he's nearby? Then there's the vacations. My dad goes away a couple times a year - usually to the Outer Banks or to visit my uncle who lives 12 hours away. He's taken my nephew with him several times. I wouldn't care except that he's promised my boys several times that they would each get a turn to go with him. Two years and several trips with my nephew later, my boys still haven't got to go. My dad hasn't even asked. Hell, the last two trips I didn't even know he was going till he was gone! He went on one trip together with my sis, her dh and kids... Niether of them mentioned it beforehand. I only found out when my dad posted a pic of all them together on fb with caption " So nice to have my whole family together on the lovel beach" I'm sorry - your whole family? Guess I'm not family anymore. And what upsets me is my boys are 12 and 13. They are old enough to notice stuff. My older son doesn't want to talk to my dad anymore after finding out yesterday that once again, his cousin got to go on vacation with Pap. I don't know how he found out - I didn't even know. Idk - it's all fucked up and I just don't know what to do.
Posted by Anonymous on May. 31, 2013 at 8:00 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Roxygurl
by Sapphire Member on May. 31, 2013 at 8:02 AM
Have you talked to him? Asked him why he doesn't include you and your kids?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Lionpaw
by on May. 31, 2013 at 8:07 AM
I'd ask. Sadly you cant force a connection even if they are family. Best you can do is love yourself, your kids, and those that make an effort to be in your life.

Quoting Roxygurl:

Have you talked to him? Asked him why he doesn't include you and your kids?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 31, 2013 at 8:08 AM
Tried. But we barely hear from him anymore and he's always just oh so busy when I call him. So it's near impossible to get into a conversation.


Quoting Roxygurl:

Have you talked to him? Asked him why he doesn't include you and your kids?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 31, 2013 at 8:10 AM
I'd ask but I know how it feels. My mil plays favorites with my bil's kids.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 31, 2013 at 8:13 AM
I just don't get. We used to be so close and I don't nderstand what happened.


Quoting Lionpaw:

I'd ask. Sadly you cant force a connection even if they are family. Best you can do is love yourself, your kids, and those that make an effort to be in your life.



Quoting Roxygurl:

Have you talked to him? Asked him why he doesn't include you and your kids?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on May. 31, 2013 at 8:16 AM
Maybe you should give him the silent treatment too. Act like he doesn't exist.
CutieCrab
by on May. 31, 2013 at 8:16 AM

 Talk to him about it...  He's probably oblivious to the fact you and your family are bothered.

**Jen**:-)




scarletmeshell
by Platinum Member on May. 31, 2013 at 8:18 AM
I'm so sorry. If he is to busy to talk send him an emial or message on fb.
Quoting Anonymous:

Tried. But we barely hear from him anymore and he's always just oh so busy when I call him. So it's near impossible to get into a conversation.


Quoting Roxygurl:

Have you talked to him? Asked him why he doesn't include you and your kids?


lexiloo714
by Platinum Member on May. 31, 2013 at 8:20 AM
Your poor kids, i know how it feels. My grandma played favorites once my cousins came along simply because their father was/is incredibly wealthy. It really hurt and i don't speak to her anymore.
You need to call him or just drive to his house or your sister's house and confront him.
Saydar
by on May. 31, 2013 at 8:24 AM

Then don't make it a conversation. Make it a confrontation. Tell him he's alienating 1/2 of his grandchildren and you want to talk to him about it.


Quoting Anonymous:

Tried. But we barely hear from him anymore and he's always just oh so busy when I call him. So it's near impossible to get into a conversation.


Quoting Roxygurl:

Have you talked to him? Asked him why he doesn't include you and your kids?



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