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Did you have to give up a lot?

Posted by on May. 31, 2013 at 9:59 AM
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Did your life change dramatically when you had kids? I know things like sleep and going to the bathroom alone are things of the past, but in general, did your day to day life do a complete 180?

I went to dinner with a friend last night that I haven't seen in a few years. She's been married for 4 years and they don't have any kids. She said she's not sure they want to give up their lifestyle and she also doesn't feel very maternal, though she really does like children.

I told her that a lot of people seem to assume that your life just ends after you have kids, but for me, my kids just sort of slid right in. We still go out to dinner, we still have date night, watch what we want on tv, cook the same meals, go to movies, go on vacation...we just do it with an extra couple little bodies. Once you have kids, it doesn't feel like you've really given anything up, you've added more.

Now, of course, you're going to have the women that never wanted kids and hate raising them, but for most of us, I think we consider our kids a welcomed addition. It does occur to me though, that I've always led a pretty boring life. I was never a partier so having kids didn't interfere with a whole lot. How about you? Did you have to completely rearrange your life?
by on May. 31, 2013 at 9:59 AM
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Replies (1-10):
mommy2zbg
by Gold Member on May. 31, 2013 at 10:01 AM
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 My life done a complete 180 because before I got pregnant I was partying and staying out all hours of the night. Once I got pregnant and had my son, I stayed home more, quit hanging with the people that I had originally been hanging with. My life did change but it changed for the better!!!

sandra_t00
by ChaChi on May. 31, 2013 at 10:01 AM
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I was 16 when I had my first. It made things diffucult, but I got through it thanks to the wonderful support I had from my parents. He is 9 now and my SO and I have an 8 motbh old. It certainly has changed our lives, but things are good between us
elephantmamaof2
by Ruby Member on May. 31, 2013 at 10:03 AM

I think in the beginning it is a big change, but I've found that from the ages 3+ I've been having more fun than I did before kids! It does help that most of our closest friend have kids the same age too. But once they get a little older, things become easier in the sense of actually getting to do fun things. Taking them places like amusement parks isn't as much work, friends can come over and its easier to socialize since the kids can play on their own, you don't have to worry about the next feeding or diaper change, etc. 

Stephd710
by Emerald Member on May. 31, 2013 at 10:03 AM
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Not really.  I became single as soon as my twins were born but I still didnt have to give up much.  I worked full time before and I still work full time now.  I get every other weekend free to do what I want when they go to their dads.  I still do lunch or dinner with friends, I still manage to dress myself and look nice everyday, i still have quiet time to myself at night when theyve gone to bed.  

charligirl33
by on May. 31, 2013 at 10:04 AM
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I'm with you. I'm still the same person, I still do the same things. I go out with friends, I date, I go to movies and out to dinner. I take vacations, cook the same things I used to, etc. My kids became part of my life, rather than me changing my life for them. 

I don't go out as often as I did when I was child free, but I go out often enough to be happy and get my free time. The only thing that I really feel like I gave up is bathroom time. I don't think I've been in the bathroom without a little person either in there with me or at the door yelling for me in 20 years. 

Hanab818
by ThePonds on May. 31, 2013 at 10:05 AM
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Yes. I used to go out 4 night a week. For football or baseball or some sporting even, dinner with friends, drinks, dancing, concerts. But now that I have kids I realize what a drama filed life I had before with all the gossip and bull crap going around my circle and I'm glad I have a quiet peaceful homebody life.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on May. 31, 2013 at 10:10 AM
Yes, my life has completely changed. My dd has autism and even the smallest things are difficult now.
Laura1427
by Emerald Member on May. 31, 2013 at 10:12 AM
I wanted kids, and admit they changed my life dramatically. It was an ok change, but it did change a lot.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 31, 2013 at 10:13 AM

My life completely changed.  I had a career making great money then quit to be a SAHM.  Our income declined by 50% so that was a huge adjustment.  I wouldn't make a different choice now, but there is no denying that our life changed dramatically.

liveforever
by on May. 31, 2013 at 10:15 AM

Yes. I was barely 20 when I had dd. I was in college, lived with 3 other girls, we had parties at our house all the time. Obviously when I had her my friends were all at a completely different stage in their lives. I had a few close friends I still saw and would hang out with, but the carefree college lifestyle definitely ended.

I only think it was so drastic for me because of my age/stage of life.

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