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My ten yr old son is bothered we don't have the same last name

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 12 Replies
Been married to his daddy for 12 yrs. kept my name for many personal reasons. It did bother my hubby in the past. Now a decade later he is over it. Am I being mean to just really ignore the subject.
Posted by Anonymous on May. 31, 2013 at 11:25 AM
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 31, 2013 at 11:28 AM
Bump
CorpCityGrl
by Ruby Member on May. 31, 2013 at 11:31 AM

My friend has gone through this.  She got married and never bothered changing her last name.  It wasn't a big deal and it was easier for them (she is a teacher).  Fast forward 4 kids later and she is going to officially change her last name.  Now that her kids are older, she is more self-conscious about it and they question it.  She never wanted it to be a big issue or meant for it to go on this long but she also didn't want her kids to feel slighted because they don't have the same last name - especially since her and her husband ARE happily married.

It's really a personal choice.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 31, 2013 at 11:34 AM
Thank you for your thoughts. When he was a baby it just didn't matter. But now that my name is different in all his forms. We are happily married. I dunno thanks


Quoting CorpCityGrl:

My friend has gone through this.  She got married and never bothered changing her last name.  It wasn't a big deal and it was easier for them (she is a teacher).  Fast forward 4 kids later and she is going to officially change her last name.  Now that her kids are older, she is more self-conscious about it and they question it.  She never wanted it to be a big issue or meant for it to go on this long but she also didn't want her kids to feel slighted because they don't have the same last name - especially since her and her husband ARE happily married.

It's really a personal choice.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 31, 2013 at 11:35 AM

Mine was bothered as well,  when I divorced 2nd hubs he asked me to change it back to his name (1st hubs) so I did.  Then when I got married again, I asked him and he wanted me to keep it so I did for him.  My hubs did not like it but he understood and is ok with it.

baileyquarters
by on May. 31, 2013 at 11:37 AM
My kids have never seen it as a big deal. Maybe it will inspire them to keep their name when they get married.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on May. 31, 2013 at 11:38 AM

I didn't have my father's last name, my mother did and it embarrassed the hell out of me.  I would always take my child's feelings into consideration with these things.  Perhaps consider hyphenating?

CorpCityGrl
by Ruby Member on May. 31, 2013 at 11:39 AM


No problem.

I actually never saw it as a problem until my friend mentioned it to me.  I know she had told me that her daughter feels bad sometimes about having different last names and some kids have even asked her if her parents are divorced. 

Quoting Anonymous:

Thank you for your thoughts. When he was a baby it just didn't matter. But now that my name is different in all his forms. We are happily married. I dunno thanks


Quoting CorpCityGrl:

My friend has gone through this.  She got married and never bothered changing her last name.  It wasn't a big deal and it was easier for them (she is a teacher).  Fast forward 4 kids later and she is going to officially change her last name.  Now that her kids are older, she is more self-conscious about it and they question it.  She never wanted it to be a big issue or meant for it to go on this long but she also didn't want her kids to feel slighted because they don't have the same last name - especially since her and her husband ARE happily married.

It's really a personal choice.




Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 31, 2013 at 11:42 AM
That's a good idea. Our names are only 3 letters apart. Very similar names. My sons feeling to matter. So maybe he can help me come up with something. Thanks


Quoting Anonymous:

I didn't have my father's last name, my mother did and it embarrassed the hell out of me.  I would always take my child's feelings into consideration with these things.  Perhaps consider hyphenating?


quickbooksworm
by Ruby Member on May. 31, 2013 at 11:42 AM

Mine isn't bothered.  After I got divorced I changed my name back to my maiden name.  If my son is ever bothered, we'll change his name.  If I ever get remarried, I'm not changing it again. 

casseopeia
by on May. 31, 2013 at 11:44 AM

I kept my name for professional reasons.  I am a licensed architect and am known by my name.  I didn't want to risk confusion by clients.  IDK, just explain to him your reasons for keeping your own name.

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