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Give the baby up for adoption or get out.

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 70 Replies

If your underage daughter got pregnant, would you demand her to give the baby up for adoption or tell her she would have to move out if she kept it!? Even if the girl is very responsible, has a job, and stays in school?!

I have a close friend who is going through this situation where her 16 year old is pregnant. But my friend never talked to her daughter about birth control or how to protect herself. My friend always said her form of birth control is telling her daughter if she ever got pregnant, she is going to kick her out of the house.

I offered her daugher a room at my house, but my friend said no because she needs to know the real struggle of what she has done and doesn't deserve help.

I don't understand how she can feel what she is doing is right! Would i be wrong to lie to my friend and say her daughter isn't here and let her stay here? I mean, my friend doesnt even care if she is sleeping on the streets. Someone needs to care.

I'm just so lost what to do, but at this point, I dont care if I lose her friendship.

Posted by Anonymous on May. 31, 2013 at 11:41 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 31, 2013 at 11:45 AM
3 moms liked this
If she honestly kicks her out and she is really a good kid like your post states then I absolutely would let her stay with you but make sure you protect yourself legally because if your friend gets a wild hair up her a** she could call the police in you telling them you are harboring a runaway.....just some things to think about....good luck i think you are doing the right thing letting her stay she needs so much positive support right now and in the long run I think that your friend may even come around and thank you later
HeadKrobe8789
by Bronze Member on May. 31, 2013 at 11:47 AM
2 moms liked this

If I were in your shoes, I'd say screw the friendship...that baby is more important.  Perhaps if she was properly taught and talked to about sex and birth control, she may not have gotten pregnant.  Maybe she would have been more careful if she knew more about it.  By kicking her out, she's endangering not only the welfare of her child but her grandchild as well. 

Mamie_85
by Platinum Member on May. 31, 2013 at 11:47 AM

 she's still a minor. your friend should think long and hard about kicking a minor that she's still responsible for, out on the streets. if she does, take her in. don't ask the "friend".

tezell78
by Gold Member on May. 31, 2013 at 11:50 AM
1 mom liked this
Those were basically the options I was given, luckily I had already decided to relinquish my dd before I ever told my mom I was pregnant. My mom had zero understanding of the emotional impact adoption has on the birth mother.

My only advice is do what you feel is best, if she does place the baby to make her mom happy, be prepared or some pretty major issues afterwards. Either way sounds like the girl needs someone in her corner on this. Good luckv
MrsDavidB25
by Stacey on May. 31, 2013 at 11:51 AM
1 mom liked this

 I would hope she would chose abortion, but no, I would never turn my back on her or force the baby to adoption.

BrainFarts
by on May. 31, 2013 at 11:51 AM

no, but I wouldn't be raising her baby either....... I'd HELP with what I could, but she made the choice to have it and she will do the raising and working.

Anon000
by Bronze Member on May. 31, 2013 at 11:53 AM
Oh I'd def take her in than try to discuss things with the friend when it's calmer
2kids2dogs2cats
by on May. 31, 2013 at 11:55 AM
1 mom liked this

I would talk to your friend again, she does realize her grandchild is in the daughter's belly.  Where is the father of the baby?  Where are his parents in all of this?  I would say as a last resort, have her stay with you, she most likely will need to get emancipation from her mother.

What are her plans?  Has she considered adoption?  Is she wanting to keep the baby, finish school etc?  I think your friend needs her head examined, but the boy and his parents have responsibility in this as well.

buttercup627
by Ruby Member on May. 31, 2013 at 11:59 AM
1 mom liked this
There are women who get pregnant after college and after they're married and they still need help. I never thought it was right or fair to a teen to give her an ultimatum like that, and I think if you're willing you should let the girl live with you even if her mother is angry.
quickbooksworm
by Ruby Member on May. 31, 2013 at 12:02 PM

What most idiots fail to realize is that you can't just give the baby up.  The father has to consent as well.  Some assholes won't consent but don't want the baby or to pay child support either.

I'd find out about the legality and probably let her stay.  If she's pregnant she can probably be emancipated.

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