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I just realized...

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 10 Replies

I hate my life. It is not what it was supposed to be. Not even close and I have no idea how to fix it, or if it can even be fixed. 

I hate me. I'm not suicidal... just really hate myself and my life. The way things turned out that I could've changed if only I had known then, what I know now. :/ Figures. 

Just venting. Must be having my monthly emotional break down. I normally don't feel this way... I think... Or I just burry it. Who knows.

Posted by Anonymous on May. 31, 2013 at 6:20 PM
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Replies (1-10):
liss.n.chris
by on May. 31, 2013 at 6:20 PM
What's so bad about your life?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
barneysaid
by on May. 31, 2013 at 6:21 PM
Bump. I have those days too :(
wickedfiress
by Platinum Member on May. 31, 2013 at 6:21 PM
So.. Change it. It's never too late.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 31, 2013 at 6:36 PM

It's not about "what's so bad"... It's the accumilation of not so good things. 

The highlights: My husband cheated on me, pretty sure he hates me for what reason Idk. I'm fat. I'm nowhere near my family. My friends hardly talk to me. Only 1 friend do I really ever talk to and she lives out of state, My family is mad at me for moving out of state. My face looks like a pizza. I had surgery in Novemeber to have a tumor removed and now my face is cock-eyed. I can't smile without thinking somebody is noticing it. No matter how hard I'm try to lose weight, its not good enough for anybody, they still judge me. Running at the park/trails yesterday and people were just looking and laughing. Family members think eating healthy is stupid and a waste of money and feel the need to constantly remind me that it's a waste of my time. There's the main things bugging me today. 

Like I said though... normally I have a grip on it all. Just fucking PMS and need to vent it out of my system. None of these feelings are likely justified. I doubt my husband "hates" me, probably just doesn't love me anymore. 

And, most of that(other than the tumor) I'm pissed because I could've done things different if I had known that this is where I would end up. 

Quoting liss.n.chris:

What's so bad about your life?


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 31, 2013 at 6:37 PM

I'm trying. Just a bad day. PMS. :/ I hate when this day comes every month. But, I need to vent it out so I don't bust out crying when I spill something. I feel so silly. I never used to be this emotional with PMS.

Quoting wickedfiress:

So.. Change it. It's never too late.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 31, 2013 at 6:41 PM
I'm feeling this way too today. Just hate how things in my life are going. It will get better but I think it's okay for very one to have a bit of a pity party for themselves sometimes.


Quoting Anonymous:

I'm trying. Just a bad day. PMS. :/ I hate when this day comes every month. But, I need to vent it out so I don't bust out crying when I spill something. I feel so silly. I never used to be this emotional with PMS.

Quoting wickedfiress:

So.. Change it. It's never too late.



Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 31, 2013 at 6:42 PM

Very glad to know I'm not the only one. :)

Quoting Anonymous:

I'm feeling this way too today. Just hate how things in my life are going. It will get better but I think it's okay for very one to have a bit of a pity party for themselves sometimes.


Quoting Anonymous:

I'm trying. Just a bad day. PMS. :/ I hate when this day comes every month. But, I need to vent it out so I don't bust out crying when I spill something. I feel so silly. I never used to be this emotional with PMS.

Quoting wickedfiress:

So.. Change it. It's never too late.




wooly
by Knitting Maniac on May. 31, 2013 at 6:42 PM

 I think we all have things that if we knew then what we know now we'd change it.  I'm glad you're not suicidal. And you know what?  YOU can change your life or the path you're on. I'm not saying it'll be easy, but I was in a spot like you decribe and so I got a job where I could stay home and saved my money for school, then got a job and totally changed my life. It can be done!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 31, 2013 at 6:44 PM

I'm happy to hear I'm not the only one. 

It's odd. I know that these feelings are not accurate but, I feel them like they are.. Idk. It's weird.

Quoting barneysaid:

Bump. I have those days too :(


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 31, 2013 at 6:46 PM

That's what I'm hoping to do. Well, we're hoping he will get a good job, I will still work PT and go to school at the same time. 

I'm also just getting back on track on working out and stuff and I am crazy determined. Just hard to hear everybody trying to tear me down at every turn. But, I'm sticking to it. I'm so done being stuck in a body that doesn't represent me.

I think with time and effort, things will get better and we will eventually be where we want to be. I just hate the in between.

Quoting wooly:

 I think we all have things that if we knew then what we know now we'd change it.  I'm glad you're not suicidal. And you know what?  YOU can change your life or the path you're on. I'm not saying it'll be easy, but I was in a spot like you decribe and so I got a job where I could stay home and saved my money for school, then got a job and totally changed my life. It can be done!


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