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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Morals don't keep me faithful

Posted by on Jun. 4, 2013 at 10:55 PM
  • 66 Replies
4 moms liked this
Morals don't keep me faithful to my husband.
I have them, sure but that is not what keeps me from cheating. Everyone knows cheating is "wrong". People cheat because they aren't strong enough to resist temptation. They know they are morally wrong. They often feel guilt.
My husband claims it is his upbringing and strong morals that keep him faithful. He was raised Catholic and believes that it is keeping him faithful.
I was raised essentially without religion. My parents taught.me it is important to be a "good" person. Don't lie, don't hurt others ext.
That isn't why I am faithful though. I am faithful to my husband becAuse I don't want to lose what I have. I don't want to risk my relationship with my husband, the well being of my children, the joy and health and calm and total lack of drama that I've worked to build.

I know it's good to have a moral compass but I don't believe it's as large of a motivating factor as people make it out to be. I think people serve their own interests. Some people have healthy ones and some don't.
Who do you think is right? My husband and his religion or me and my more practical views :)

by on Jun. 4, 2013 at 10:55 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jun. 4, 2013 at 10:57 PM
I don't really see a difference.
JulyBabies
by Gold Member on Jun. 4, 2013 at 10:57 PM

I didn't grow up in an overly religious house, I was just taught right from wrong and I have a conscience.

But you know what, I don't care what the reasons are, religion or not, all that matters is that you do the right thing.

tifbrown
by on Jun. 4, 2013 at 10:58 PM
2 moms liked this

You are both right. Just because it isn't a factor for you, doesn't mean it isn't for others. Everyone is different, what guides them is different, what keeps them strong is different. You can respect his opinion and each others differences. Your kids will have two areas to draw from. His morals and your ability to see the value in what you have. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jun. 4, 2013 at 10:58 PM
1 mom liked this

Your views are moral whether you want to admit it or not. 

So_Devious20
by Misha Lovegood<3 on Jun. 4, 2013 at 11:01 PM

I don't cheat because I have been cheated on and it hurts. I've felt the damage and witnessed it with others. Not worth it and I wouldn't want Dh to ever feel that hurt. I do have not morals. But I have done things that I 100% knew was wrong. Morality does not keep me straight sometimes.

lauraschatz
by Gold Member on Jun. 4, 2013 at 11:02 PM
How so?


Quoting Anonymous:

Your views are moral whether you want to admit it or not. 


Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jun. 4, 2013 at 11:03 PM
1 mom liked this
I don't think saying "morals are why I don't cheat" is very comforting. It's like saying "hell yes I would cheat on you if I didn't think it would make me a bad guy!"

I would want my dh not to cheat because, ya know, he loves me...

(This is not to say he doesn't love, just that I bet he has more reasons not to cheat than just morals alone)
FL2AK
by on Jun. 4, 2013 at 11:04 PM
3 moms liked this
Your morals tell you to not hurt someone that you love.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jun. 4, 2013 at 11:06 PM
Look up the definition of moral. It should be self explanatory.
Quoting lauraschatz:

How so?


Quoting Anonymous:

Your views are moral whether you want to admit it or not. 



lauraschatz
by Gold Member on Jun. 4, 2013 at 11:06 PM
The debate started because a friend of ours is divorcing her husband for cheating but is now (after serving the divorce papers) seeing a married man. He is disappointed in her because he thought she was a " good person with morals". I say she is but there are factors that are trumping her morals right now. She is lonely and sad and hurt and has an intense need for validation and companionship. I don't see her as immoral I see her as in a very weak state.


Quoting Anonymous:

I don't really see a difference.

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