I confronted my mom over the child support my dad paid her
I am 21 years old and from a young age, I have always gotten two different stories, one from my mom that my dad was a POS who barely paid any CS and one from my dad asking me and me why I didn't have new shoes or whatever it was I needed because CS should have covered that. So went to the clerk of courts to get all the court papers to find out the truth.
The truth was that my dad paid from between $1600 and $2100 a month (it was raised several times over the years) in child support. There is nothing filed saying that he has every failed to pay. The problem is, there were MANY times that I didn't have things I should have had. I learned to tell my mom my shoes were too small just before they actually were because I knew I would have to wait a couple weeks, she couldn't afford to let my in many school activities that I wanted to do, I wore inexpensive clothes most of the time. Then as a teenager, from the time I was about 14, I babysat and bought my own clothes and shoes. I didn't understand why she couldn't buy me these things, knowing how much she was getting, I should have been able to have nice clothes even after she used the child support to pay for my part of the bills and she could have saved up for me to go to college. That money was for me, not for her and SF and their kids to live on (they had 2 together and he had 3 with his ex).
I asked my mom about it. She said that she didn't think it was fair for me to have more then my half and step siblings.She said that they went through a lot of hard times and if the child support would have been just spent on me (again, including my share of the bills) they wouldn't have been able to make ends meet. She even admitted that they actually used one month's worth of child support to pay SF's child support for the past 5 months so he didn't get into legal trouble.
I feel betrayed. She was trusted with that money, to use that money for me. She should have used 1/5 of it towards the bills (since there were 5 of us living there full time) and the rest should have been used for things I needed and any extra should have been put into a college fund for me. It was not money meant to pay SF's child support and it was not money meant to support the whole family. I feel like she robbed me. I am now beginning to see why my dad was so bitter, he tried to hide it but I could always tell.
Like I said, the money should have been used for my share of the bill, I am not saying that she should have taken me shopping every month with it but to use to on more then my share of the bills and while I needed new shoes or wore crappy clothes was wrong. I also don't think kids are entitled to college funds but since she clearly had extra money that was meant for me after buying what I needed and paying my share of the bills, I think it's wrong that she didn't put it aside for me.
After telling her all that, she called me an ingrateful brat. She should be grateful to me as apparently, my child support helped support the whole family.