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I'm Really Thinking Of Not Doing Birthday Parties Anymore

Posted by Anonymous
  • 14 Replies

DS will be 5 on his next birthday. He is my only child.

I am really thinking of NOT doing a birthday party for him anymore. I've had one for him every year so far.

Instead, I am thinking of doing something fun. Like maybe a weekend at a hotel with kid friendly activities, going to an amusement park, etc.

Would it be so terrible to NOT have a party for him and do something like that instead?

I feel bad, because my parents never had birthday parties for any of their kids. All they did was give us money. I know how it felt and I felt like a weirdo/outcast for it especially when the other kids asked why I never had parties. I do not want DS to feel the same.

The reason I was thinking no party is for one, DS doesn't have a lot of friends his age, so it's mostly my family who gets invitied. Inevitably, someone gets butthurt for not being invited. But the whole reason I don't invite them in the first place, is because they won't get along with other people there, and while that other person would not start drama, THEY would. So since they can't act like an adult they don't get invited.

I also get tired of people showing up, eating the food I cooked and paid for, socializing, and NOT bringing my son a gift. I mean, gifts are not required, but year after year the same people have shown up for the food and not brought my son a gift. I find it rude especially when I know they can afford it.


Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 9, 2013 at 10:41 AM
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Replies (1-10):
by on Jun. 9, 2013 at 10:43 AM
Isn't he going into school soon? I know that's when my son was the must excited to have a party. He wanted to invite his whole class.
by on Jun. 9, 2013 at 10:44 AM
Up to them, it's their birthday.
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by Anonymous 2 on Jun. 9, 2013 at 10:47 AM

We only have parties with family, we do not invite friends. Personally I feel that is what a birthday is for, celebrating with the people who have been there for our child's life, from the start. I have never understood the whole inviting friends, big party thing. It's fine for others but not for us. 

As for the gift thing are you having a party to celebrate his life or are you having it so he can get gifts? That doesn't really make sense in my opinion that you're upset over gifts.

by Emerald Member on Jun. 9, 2013 at 10:49 AM

I think its just important to make their day special no matter how. I do know that my kids love seeing family and that I enjoy celebrating others birthdays with them. You dont have to have 30 people come to make it a good party either, just a couple chill and supportive people would be fine. But its up to you. I would ask your ds what he wants to do for his day.

by on Jun. 9, 2013 at 10:52 AM
You're burnt out. My dd is turning 4 this year and the only real party she had was when she turned one. Since then it has only been a select few. For her 5th we will have one so she can invite school friends. But then she won't get another big one until 8, 10, 13, 16 and 18 and maybe 21 if she's not away at school.

That's the plan anyway. Parties are too expensive to be having big ones every year.
by Emerald Member on Jun. 9, 2013 at 10:52 AM

I would have friends only partys. Once he starts school in the fall his should acquire more friends. Don't throw family parties. Instead on the actual day of his bday have cake and ice cream after dinner.

by Bronze Member on Jun. 9, 2013 at 10:52 AM

Here's an idea, since he's 5, let him pick his 5 best buddies and go bowling, or go to a movie :). When my son turned 5, we invited a bunch of kids and a bunch of his kindergarten class and no kidding, his five best friends showed up and that was it. What a waste of money that was. In their defense, the party was too far away and it was a steady downpour all day so a lot of pele backed out. Although it was a waste of money, we were glad only a few showed up because it made it more intimate for hima nd his friends and they had a great time.  This year he turned 6, he invited abut ten friends to our neitghborhood restaurant that has a video game room and they had a ball.  We only invited family to like his first two parties.

by on Jun. 9, 2013 at 10:54 AM

Ask your son if he'd like a party or a trip. Next year once he starts school he should hopefully have more friends.

by on Jun. 9, 2013 at 10:55 AM
Fuck parties. I get extremely anxious and end up having some emotional distress while planning and setting up. After 4 years of this, and the last party leaving me crying in the bathroom an hour before, my husband said no more. And we only invite family as well! I'd say ask him if your really unsure, or if you know you don't want to, don't and just make it fun.
by Ruby Member on Jun. 9, 2013 at 10:55 AM

When my kids were little, I stepped out of the "birthday party" craziness.  We lived in an area where everyone did these huge parties and everyone tried to one-up everyone else's party and it was just insane.  Finally I decided - no more.  Instead birthdays became a family only affair.  I would make a nice dinner, have the cake and ice cream and presents.  That's how my birthdays were growin up and I *loved* them.  My kids are now in their teens and they are perfectly happy with our family centered birthdays.  I just don't care to play those social games.  So I don't.  :0)

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