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I Think My 7 Year Old is Abusing My 5 Year old (Pics)

Posted by Anonymous
  • 61 Replies

I'm going anonymous for this because I don't want any personal judgement on myself or my children. 

I have 4 children. My eldest is 9 and my youngest is 1. Recently, my 5 year old has been having many "accidents". These "accidents" have left her with slight bruising on her throat, a bruise on her cheek, and a slit finger. Here's the problem...each of these "accidents" were "accidentally" caused by her 7 year old sister. What are the stories behind these accidents you may ask?

Well, 2 weeks ago my 7 and 5 year olds were "fighting" over a towel. My 7 year old "accidentally" choked my 5 year old with it. I don't know how someone accidentally chokes someone but that's what they both told me. It was an accident.

3 days ago, my 5 and 7 year olds were playing out back. My 5 year old comes in crying and holding her face. I asked what happened. The story? My 7 year old accidentally tripped my 5 year old after my 5 year old "tagged" my 7 year old. Again, both agree it's an accident.

Last night I was out back putting the toys away while the girls were supposed to be cleaning their rooms. My 9 year old comes downstairs and says my 5 year olds finger is bleeding. I came inside as she was coming downthe stairs with my 7 year old. What happened? My 5 year old was being "annoying" while cleaning behind the bedside table. My 7 year old slammed the table (with my 5 year olds hand on the edge) into the wall. DD7 says it was an accident. This time DD5 says it was on purpose.

I don't want to be paranoid. I want to believe my 7 year old wouldn't do these things on purpose. Here is her deal...

She has diagnoses of ADHD, DMDD, and Anxiety.

Losing her temper is her specialty. She's in therapy currently (I'll be speaking to her therapist about this at her appointment tomorrow) and is currently under the care of a psychiatrist and on medication. 

Am I being paranoid? Does it sound like these are real accidents or could there be something more? I keep having flashes of that movie "The Good Son".

Should I be worried or should I just chill out and stop looking so far into things?

Just want to say (without going into details) that DD7 does have a history of violence, but isn't usually manipulative. Her violence usually comes during an outburst which she wasn't having during any of the incidences recently.

Not a great pic of the bruising on her throat but you can see it if you look closely.

Again not a super great pic but you can see the bruise.

The picture doesn't do it justice. It was bleeding a lot :(

Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 9, 2013 at 12:24 PM
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Replies (1-10):
by Silver Member on Jun. 9, 2013 at 12:26 PM
Therapy pronto
by Anonymous 2 on Jun. 9, 2013 at 12:27 PM
9 moms liked this

Your 7 year old is making your 5 year old's life hell.  You need to stop her and I don't care what disabilities she has.  You can't allow her to continue this abusive behavior.

by on Jun. 9, 2013 at 12:29 PM
1 mom liked this
I would be worried about it but honestly maybe she was being mean but it got out of hand and she didnt mean to hurt her and that's why they say it was an accident.

My brother was the same way when we were younger. He would be mean to me then when I really got hurt he felt bad and said it was an accident and he didnt mean to hurt me.

I would talk with her therapist but I wouldn't worry too much. Kids fight and get bruised all the time maybe it is an accident that she got hurt that bad but the older one was being mean. Does that make sense?
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by on Jun. 9, 2013 at 12:30 PM
Ouch, its going to be a long ride. I do understand. My son is the same way.
by Gold Member on Jun. 9, 2013 at 12:32 PM
If it were my child, I'd have a serious conversation with her about her actions and try to get some answers as to why she's behaving that way. However you go about it, she needs to understand that behavior is not acceptable. Therapy is another good option. Good luck.
by Anonymous 3 on Jun. 9, 2013 at 12:34 PM

I have the same problem with my 9 year old daughter.  She has ADHD, when she plays with her brother she is so impulsive she hurts him.  Not to the point of bruising or cuts but she always says it was an accident.  What she really means is she was upset and was impulsive.  She never wants to hurt him but she reacts so quickly.  Is you daughter on medication?  If so you may want to see her doctor about getting them adjusted.  Also in therapy a good goal would be impulse control.  Good Luck.  

by Ruby Member on Jun. 9, 2013 at 12:37 PM

Such things often happen with children, even if the oldest has no diagnosis like your 7 year old.  Sometimes older children are a little pushy with younger kids.   They aren't necessarily actually making an effort  to hurt them, but may just be pushing them around a little too much.

If you can keep the children within your sight more often(or you can keep an eye on them without them realizing it), you may actually see one of these incidents happening, and be able to judge better, exactly what is going on.

If this is something that only happens occasionally, and always when you're out of their sight, I wouldn't necessarily conclude it has to be something really malevolent the 7 year old is doing.   I know from even my childhood, that we tended to get into trouble when my parents were out of our sight.  

If there was someone there to say, 'no, put the clippers AND the cat down', the cat wouldn't actually get - shaved.   This could be what's happening, they get into something to which you would normally say, 'Don't even go there' and it never comes to full fruition, LOL.

If the 7 year old truly is attacking her sister with actual evil intent, which is what you seem to be kind of hinting at, therapy and more supervision are the answers.

Unless she's doing it because she's on a prescription that's making her tense or irritable (not impossible with ADHD/ADD) or perhaps even the prescriptions she has aren't helping her to be more focused and less impulsive.  By impulsive I mean jumping into something without thinking it through first, sometimes that is a part of the attention disorders.

by on Jun. 9, 2013 at 12:40 PM
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Not one of those attacks were accidental and her violence is escalating. You need to protect your child who is being abused by her sibling. I would start by not allowing the older daughter to be alone with any children. She needs to be your shadow. Then you need to discuss her attacks with her counselor and come up with a plan on how to stop her outbursts.
by Platinum Member on Jun. 9, 2013 at 12:43 PM
2 moms liked this
She needs to be taught how to deal with her temper in non violent ways and to be corrected and disciplined immediately every time she looses her temper and it results in an 'accident' or it will oy get worse.
by Emerald Member on Jun. 9, 2013 at 12:43 PM
Don't let them be together without someone watching them. The 7 yr old provably convinced the 5 yr old they were acciebs.
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