Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I never got to raise my son as a baby

Posted by Anonymous
  • 22 Replies

I met him and things got serious very fast, it was a very intense relationship from the start.  I moved in way too soon.  

Soon after moving in he started complaining about my job.  He started coming to my work and just hanging about being with me at al times and asking me to come to his work to be with him.

It didn't take long for the first time in an argument (about work) for him to raise a hand and slap me when I "mouthed off".  He apologizes and told me I shouldn't have spoken back.  Knowing what I said was wrong I agreed.  

Christmas came and he got me an engagement ring.

Shortly after christmas I got pnemonia and went on anti-biotics.

Shortly after my run with pnemonia I found out I was pregnant.  When I told him he pushed me down the stairs leading to our apartment.

A few months later and I told him he had to leave. I was done.  He kicked the door down and dragged me by the hair into the bed room.  He threw me on the bed and told me if I ever tried to leave he would kill himself.

We cried, he said he would calm down, he was just so stressed about the baby and our basement apt.

We moved.

When I was 8months pregnant he called me a whore and shoved me on the ground and made me scrub the floor on my hands and knees while he watched.

The day I brought my son home he screamed at me for being lazy and not making the baby quiet.  

Throughout the next 14months he made my life a daily living hell.  I never got to kiss my son's belly while I changed his daiper and sing him lullybyes while I rocked him to sleep.

I was perfunctory, clinical and quick.  I did everything I could to keep my son happy and quiet.  But I couldn't make too much noise either.  I did not want to call attention to myself when he was home.  Which was more and more each day.

Twice I had to sit cross legged with my baby in my lap, bent over him, taking the blows meant for him on my back because I couldn't find a way to make him stop crying.

I slept in the same room with the baby even during naptimes because when I left him alone, his walls were pounded with fists and he shouted "Wake the fuck up" at the baby.

One day he got fired.  He told me he wouldn't be looking for a new job.  I had been working on my escape plan and had it in place.  But this ruined everything.  I couldn't take it and I blurted out. "No, you can't I can't stand you anymore! I want OUT"  

He dragged me by the hair and throat while I held onto the baby and was kicking and screaming.  He dragged me into the bedroom, threw me onto the bed and choked me.  He told me do you think anyone will want you? I am the only one willing to put up with you.

He left to go get something.  I don't know what.  I think he was going to kill me.

I ran into the hallway of our building.

He chased me.

He snatched the baby from my arms.  He had his hand on his chin.  He said it's my son, I can do what I want with him.

Some 20something kids were going by, it was a saturday night, they were on their way out.  A group of about 4-5 20somthign men.  I yelled, "Help me, he's going to hurt the baby, Call 911"

The boys jumped on him and the pulled at his hands to get him off the baby.  I held onto the baby and tried to protect his neck and face.  When his hands were pried off, the baby fell.  I grabbed him and ran.

A neighbor opened his door to look at the commontion.  I shoved the baby into his arms, pushed him into his apartment and said "save my baby, don't let him see. PLEASE"  I grabbed the door and slammed it, my baby inside with a stranger.

I walked back away from the door to him.  I didn't want him to see where i put the baby.

He screamed at me.  WHERE IS HE? WHERE IS MY SON.

I told him I don't know.

He attacked me.  He choked me and slammed my head on the floor while the boys tried to pull him off me.

The police came.  The arrested him.  

A police man helped me up and I hugged him.  I was scared.

Another police man approached holding my son, an ambulance was called to check him.  He was ok.

I called my cousin and told him what happened.  He came right away.  He called my sister's husband and they slept over on the couch that night and the next.  The next day, my cousin called my grandfather and got money for an apartment.  He found me an apartment, 4 townships over and a moving truck.  We moved the day after that.

That's my confession.  Sorry it was long.

Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 9, 2013 at 2:24 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
by Anonymous 2 on Jun. 9, 2013 at 2:26 PM
Good you got out
by Ruby Member on Jun. 9, 2013 at 2:27 PM

wow,thats are you now?

by Anonymous 3 on Jun. 9, 2013 at 2:28 PM

You were very lucky you had family to help you, I wish I had at the time.

by Gold Member on Jun. 9, 2013 at 2:30 PM
How awful. I am glad that both of you got away.

by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jun. 9, 2013 at 2:30 PM

it still hurts. I hate myself.  I stay single and have been for 6yrs.  My son has a reactive attachment disorder and I blame myself.

Quoting quinnsmom715:

wow,thats are you now?

by JKL's mom on Jun. 9, 2013 at 2:31 PM
That's horrible
Glad you got out and had some help to do it
by Anonymous 4 on Jun. 9, 2013 at 2:32 PM
I would have been gone after he slapped me the first time.
by Anonymous 5 on Jun. 9, 2013 at 2:32 PM
Wow, glad you're both okay. Where is the asshole now?
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jun. 9, 2013 at 2:33 PM

I don't know.

Quoting Anonymous:

Wow, glad you're both okay. Where is the asshole now?

by Silver Member on Jun. 9, 2013 at 2:38 PM

i felt like i was reading about me... this is an eerily similar situation that i lived with my oldest child... thank goodness you were able to eventually find freedom... i did as well... much love to you and your baby

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)