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Can not having sex lead to depression?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 16 Replies

I recently moved in with my boyfriend and mostly things have been really great, but our sex life went from 2-4 times a week to now that I'm living with him- once every week or week and half. I try initiating and he shoots me down so often I'm about to stop even trying and just solely take care of myself, especially because I have expressed my higher than average sex drive and like the last time I initiated he decided to play but had me give him an O and I got zip in return. All of this is making me constantly on edge, I feel distracted, fatigued, upset (swinging from sadness to anger), and suspiscious (which most likely has something to do with my ex husband who cheated on me). I don't know what to do. All his other behaviour is great and he's really good to me otherwise and great with my daughter. Being 10 years older I wonder if it's just his age. But altogether I am still left with this emotional mess I am and no idea what to do about it. If I could afford it I'd go to counseling but I can't so anyone have any other suggestions?

Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 9, 2013 at 4:56 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jun. 9, 2013 at 5:04 PM

BUMP!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jun. 9, 2013 at 5:07 PM
Have you talked to him about how he feels living with you? I acted like he is when my boyfriend and I moved in together. I had a really hard time adjusting to the new routines and having somebody all up in my space all the time! I still loved him, but he was invading my bubble and it turned me off. Maybe this is what is going on? I don't know, but it's worth exploring if you want your sex life back.
Pnukey
by on Jun. 9, 2013 at 5:07 PM

No sex absolutely can lead to a depressed state, but I don't think full blown depression.  IDK what's up with your bf though. Maybe since it's always available now, it's not as fun to get.

SadeAyosmom
by on Jun. 9, 2013 at 5:09 PM

my SO has a low sex drive but he has depression.

it causes me issues.. its more the rejection that burns.

we went from daily or 4 times a week ppl to.... well its been 2 weeks.. im hoping to get some today. i am hanging out here!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jun. 9, 2013 at 5:10 PM
The less sex my husband and I have the more depressed I feel
TranquilMind
by Ruby Member on Jun. 9, 2013 at 5:12 PM

 Yes.  Other side effects of no sex include, death, dismemberment, heart attack, stroke, loss of vision, loss of hearing, insanity, learning disorders, panic attacks, obesity, diabetes....

Geez....no. 

This isn't about sex at all.  This is about other issues.  Maybe he doesn't want to live with you.  Maybe he has feelings for someone else.  Maybe he feels living together is wrong.  Maybe he is physically ill and needs a check up to discover something.  There are loads of possibilities. You need to talk.

PhoenixV
by on Jun. 9, 2013 at 5:13 PM
This

Quoting Pnukey:

No sex absolutely can lead to a depressed state, but I don't think full blown depression.  IDK what's up with your bf though. Maybe since it's always available now, it's not as fun to get.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jun. 9, 2013 at 5:15 PM

Yes I have asked him and he's said he's really happy I moved in. But he also likes to avoid conflict so he may be adjusting and not want to hurt my feelings saying otherwise, because he does love me. Did you just adjust in time or was it something that had to be worked on between you two.. I will try to stay out of his bubble more and hopefully that will help. 


Quoting Anonymous:

Have you talked to him about how he feels living with you? I acted like he is when my boyfriend and I moved in together. I had a really hard time adjusting to the new routines and having somebody all up in my space all the time! I still loved him, but he was invading my bubble and it turned me off. Maybe this is what is going on? I don't know, but it's worth exploring if you want your sex life back.



Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jun. 9, 2013 at 5:22 PM
I adjusted over time.. I don't think I even really knew that was my problem though until his work schedual changed and I had my morning to myself again! That first cup of coffee tasted soo much better in silence and I could focus on what I would do with my day. If you do give him more space try not to be stand offish though, you don't want him to think your pushing him away if you want to get closer :-) Maybe sign up for a class or something that will get you out of the house? Let him miss you again? Good luck! No nooky is no fun!


Quoting Anonymous:

Yes I have asked him and he's said he's really happy I moved in. But he also likes to avoid conflict so he may be adjusting and not want to hurt my feelings saying otherwise, because he does love me. Did you just adjust in time or was it something that had to be worked on between you two.. I will try to stay out of his bubble more and hopefully that will help. 


Quoting Anonymous:

Have you talked to him about how he feels living with you? I acted like he is when my boyfriend and I moved in together. I had a really hard time adjusting to the new routines and having somebody all up in my space all the time! I still loved him, but he was invading my bubble and it turned me off. Maybe this is what is going on? I don't know, but it's worth exploring if you want your sex life back.





Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jun. 9, 2013 at 5:24 PM

crisp bananas... no need to be rude. Situational and enviromental factors can cause bouts of depression... so it's not far fetched to believe. This is about sex for me. Which is the person I am asking about... and I have approached the issue and he just simply said I don't feel like it right now, maybe later.


Quoting TranquilMind:

 Yes.  Other side effects of no sex include, death, dismemberment, heart attack, stroke, loss of vision, loss of hearing, insanity, learning disorders, panic attacks, obesity, diabetes....

Geez....no. 

This isn't about sex at all.  This is about other issues.  Maybe he doesn't want to live with you.  Maybe he has feelings for someone else.  Maybe he feels living together is wrong.  Maybe he is physically ill and needs a check up to discover something.  There are loads of possibilities. You need to talk.



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