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I hate the name my baby's adoptive parents are giving her.

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
It's seriously making me reconsider if they are the ones. They won't even take in to consideration the name I chose or any of the ones I like. Our name tastes are very different.

The name they have chosen is Poppy June. What kind of name is that? It sounds like a willy wonka character.
Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 10, 2013 at 11:23 AM
Replies (341-350):
Wicked.Jester
by on Jun. 10, 2013 at 7:32 PM
1 mom liked this

Well arent you clueless about the adoption process.

You have no idea how heartwrenching and full of false promises and disappointments it is.  Getting an adoption stopped mid stream, having the birth mother change her mind, is quite comparable to losing a pregnancy.  Its DEVASTATING.

If I was dealing with a birth mother whose entire consideration set for who would make good parents was trumped by a NAME....I'd lie too.  These adoptive parents have probably dumped who knows how many tens of thousands of dollars in legal fees, they could also be covering all of her expenses, and they are eagerly awaiting their child, AS MUCH AS SOMEONE WHO IS PREGNANT.  

To walk away from all that because she doesn't like THE NAME???  Yeah, I would consider that a lie worth telling.

Pulling out of an adoption for that reason is absolutely insane....and does not represent the best interest of the child at all.

Quoting Anonymous:

So aren't you just the epitome of moral and ethical behavior...lie to get what you want.This is the behavior that gives adoptive parents a bad name.Why lie ,be honest ,let the woman pick parents that respect her.


Quoting Anonymous:

Stories like this is why I would never do an American adoption.
If I did I would probably pretend to let the bio name the baby and then rename the child after the adoption is finalized.
I would probably also close an open adoption if the bio mom was that much of a control freak.




Wicked.Jester
by on Jun. 10, 2013 at 7:35 PM

She didn't say she was going to mother the child, she will give it to people who choose a name she likes.

If she was keeping the baby, that would be a different situation altogether.  I agree, she ALWAYS has the option to choose to keep her child.

Quoting Anonymous:

Quoting ruth85:


Ah!  I wasnt paying close enough attention, apparently...cause I thought the child had already been born.  My bad.  Still...I think it would be rather capricious for her to not let them have the baby because of the name choice.  Taste in names is not half as important as what kind of people they are and how good a home they will provide....and at some point she is going to have to let go and not have control.

Quoting celestegood:

A child can't be adopted until the child has been born. And there is a period after the child has been born that the birth mother may choose to parent.

Quoting ruth85:

I admire you for giving your baby a good, stable home....it is a very brave and selfless thing to do....but if they adopted the baby..it is now THEIR child and they can name her anything they want.

I don't think it is realistic to think that they should consider your taste or opinion.  You have to let go.



No unless the child is in danger any reason the mother chooses to continue to mother her child is good enough.Not capricious at all.No one needs to justify continuing to mother their child.It is solely her child till she signs the T.P.R.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 65 on Jun. 10, 2013 at 7:35 PM
You're looking too much into the name. Why should it really matter? If I speak with the bm while pregnant I'll see if she has any ideas for names she would like the child to hold on too. Bm will still be a part of who the child is. Most bm giving the kid up for adoption (cause I've dealt with a few) don't even have an idea. I'd personally like to have them pick because I'm bad with thinking up names

Quoting Wicked.Jester:

My children are adopted.  And my children are MINE, no one elses.  I kept their birthnames only because they were older when I adopted them (4 and 6), and I didn't want to rob them of their identity.  They had enough change going on in their tumultuous young lives.

But had I adopted them at birth?  I would have named them whatever I chose.

Quoting Anonymous:

If I birthed that child no. If I'm adopting a child I'll keep what ever crazy name bm gave them. At least they'll have a little part of her forever. I'd close the adoption but I would respect the child's chosen name



Quoting Wicked.Jester:

Why on earth should they consider her options?  They like the name.  It will be their child.

Would you let someone else name your child?


Quoting Anonymous:

Obviously it's not the last thing on their mind if they won't take her options for consideration.





Quoting Wicked.Jester:

Are they giving her a good life?  Then shut the fuck up about the name.  

Do you even consider for a second that her NAME is the least important aspect of the entire fucking adoption?




elkmomma
by on Jun. 10, 2013 at 7:36 PM
2 moms liked this

 

Tell that to my aunts that have both adopted more than 2 kids and nearly lost out because of nonsense like not liking a name.  Do you know how offensive it is to potential adopters to loose out because you can't make a choice.

Quoting onethentwins:

 

 

Quoting elkmomma:

If you don't want your child, then why do you care what they name it?

 

Do you know how offensive it is to adopted people/children when you say that they were given up because they weren't wanted? 


 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 70 on Jun. 10, 2013 at 7:37 PM
As hard as it us to say it..and even harder for you to have to go through it..you don't really have a say in her name as they will be her parents
Anonymous
by Anonymous 20 on Jun. 10, 2013 at 7:37 PM
1 mom liked this
Yes but the adoptive parents have every right to name their child. The fact remains that if the NAME is the reason she is rethinking adoption, I would say there is a screw loose or she is looking for a way to not give up her child but not be portrayed as the bad person. If I were the adoptive parents, I would be very concerned because this very well could be that birth mother who doesn't realize that adoption means that the baby is no longer legally hers.

Quoting Anonymous:

The baby is NOT their child till after the T.P.R. and revocation period is over.Nothing about picking some people to possibly parent your child makes them anything more than PROSPECTIVE-POSSIBLE parents for the child .Until that moment the revocation period is up she is the only parent of the child.

Quoting 937mrsweaver:

The fact you are reconsidering them, due to a name they picked out, for THEIR child, Makes me very happy you are giving that baby away. You seem very ignorant. I would think you would be more concerned about the things that really matter. Why should they consider your name? You are giving the baby away. If it were me, I'd never let you pick the name or have any say in it.


However, Congrats on giving the baby a better life, and parents who will provide, and love the child.


LoveNaCupcake
by Platinum Member on Jun. 10, 2013 at 7:38 PM

This.

She will be THEIR daughter, not yours. Sorry hun but they have a right to name her whatever they want, and Poppy is cute!


Quoting Lunarprancer:

 I like it!  Why should they consider names you like?



Anonymous
by Anonymous 71 on Jun. 10, 2013 at 7:39 PM

Doesn't matter if you like it or not. You don't have a say so.

Wicked.Jester
by on Jun. 10, 2013 at 7:39 PM

I am looking too much into the name?  This bio-mom is supposedly (if she isn't a troll) reconsidering the birth parents BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T LIKE THE NAME.

That is what looking too much into the name is.  On the list of what will make these parents good parents for her child, the name doesn't even make the top 1000.

Quoting Anonymous:

You're looking too much into the name. Why should it really matter? If I speak with the bm while pregnant I'll see if she has any ideas for names she would like the child to hold on too. Bm will still be a part of who the child is. Most bm giving the kid up for adoption (cause I've dealt with a few) don't even have an idea. I'd personally like to have them pick because I'm bad with thinking up names

Quoting Wicked.Jester:

My children are adopted.  And my children are MINE, no one elses.  I kept their birthnames only because they were older when I adopted them (4 and 6), and I didn't want to rob them of their identity.  They had enough change going on in their tumultuous young lives.

But had I adopted them at birth?  I would have named them whatever I chose.

Q
malibucj
by Platinum Member on Jun. 10, 2013 at 7:39 PM

No offense, but why should they consider names you like? They're the ones that are going to raise it.

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