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Middle Child Syndrome?!

Posted by on Jun. 11, 2013 at 11:53 PM
  • 265 Replies

Anyone have 3 kids? Or are you a middle child of 3 kids?

DH and I are beginning our TTC journey for our third and last baby. My only concern is "middle child syndrome". I'm worried she won't feel as loved as the oldest or the youngest, or get enough attention. Even if I did everything right,  my mom says I shouldn't have a third because she doesn't want my current youngest to be a middle child and deal with that.

Is there any truth to any of this? Can any moms confer?

ETA: Wow! This is one of those featured posts on the front page! I feel kinda special, lol. Seriously though, thanks for all you ladies' insights. All of this has definitely made me second guess having a third. While I trust my parenting skills, I don't want my middle to ever feel like she isn't as important and the way some of you describe it, you could do everything right and "MCS" could still happen.

She's a very clingy, needy personality as it is, and even my oldest DEMANDS your attention, and if she can't get it, will act out. I'm going to concentrate on the two I have for now, and I think worry about adding to my brood later! 

by on Jun. 11, 2013 at 11:53 PM
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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jun. 11, 2013 at 11:58 PM
4 moms liked this
http://m.today.com/moms/mom-survey-says-three-most-stressful-number-kids-6C9774150

An article about this very thing lol u likely read it but it seems to be a real thing but I don't know actually not many ppl I know have 3 kids haha they have like 2 or 4 or more haha

I can't make that clicky but its a legit article not some spam virus :)

Good luck with it whatever u decide,,, if u feel its right it doesn't matter what anyone else says really :))
lucydiamond
by LD on Jun. 11, 2013 at 11:59 PM

I am the oldest of three and my brother, the middle child, passed away as a toddler, but I know without a shadow of a doubt that if he had lived, he would, if anything, have been the favorite in my whole extended family because he would have been the youngest boy.

md3mom
by Bronze Member on Jun. 12, 2013 at 12:00 AM
2 moms liked this

Yes, we have 3.  My middle daughter does seem to need more attention than the other two.  We just make sure to spend some alone time with all of the kids.  Overall, she's a very happy child.  I don't think she is being permanently scarred by being the middle child.  I love our family size - wouldn't choose anything else!

starbuckmom03
by on Jun. 12, 2013 at 12:01 AM

Well, up to 4 mos ago, we only had 3 kids.  Kid number 2&3 are twins so I don't know if one of them would fit the typical "middle child" thought.  R is 1 min older than J.  But now that we have 4, we don't have to worry about it.

My sil is a middle child.  She has problems with it and tries to pull off the middle child crap a lot.  She even tried telling me that R was the middle child and he was going to have problems.  I nipped that in bud quick.

For the 4 yrs that they were number 2&3, I never had any issue with the middle child stuff.  I loved on all 3 of my kids equally.

You will know when each child needs indiviual attention.  My kids come to me and tend to hang around me when they need attention.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jun. 12, 2013 at 12:02 AM
I'm the youngest of 3 brothers, the one closest to my age is kinda the middle child as the oldest has a different mom and is much older, he was really the most loved and spoiled.
LuLuThatsWho
by Platinum Member on Jun. 12, 2013 at 12:04 AM

I have 4, but my son is still kind of the middle child since the youngest 2 are twins.  He requires a lot of attention.  He's a daredevil.  He's rough and tough.  We can already tell he will be the most challenging to parent... at least for the foreseeable future!

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mandee1503
by Silver Member on Jun. 12, 2013 at 12:06 AM

My sister got plenty of attention, and she is definitely the favorite along with her kids.

robibuni
by Platinum Member on Jun. 12, 2013 at 12:06 AM

My youngest is a very high needs personality as it is. She's 15 months and from day ONE, she has been the clingiest person alive. I get so touched out with her sometimes. I wouldn't want her to think if we had another baby that mommy was replacing her. It was easy to sit down with my oldest when we had our second and explain to her that mommy and daddy loved her and she was fine with it. In fact now, she loves having a baby sister and has requested another baby.


Quoting md3mom:

Yes, we have 3.  My middle daughter does seem to need more attention than the other two.  We just make sure to spend some alone time with all of the kids.  Overall, she's a very happy child.  I don't think she is being permanently scarred by being the middle child.  I love our family size - wouldn't choose anything else!



Kierri
by Bronze Member on Jun. 12, 2013 at 12:07 AM
I am the middle of three(if counting only full-blooded siblings) AND the middle of seven(when including step and half siblings). No middle child syndrome for me. I was the "good" child. Haha.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jun. 12, 2013 at 12:07 AM
10 moms liked this

I'm a middle child and I constantly got screwed over. My parents treated us differently though. Treat all your children equally and do your best to make them feel special and everything should be good.

My older brother slept on moms couch without a job until he was 25 and my sister was having sex at 12 and pregnant at 17.  I turned out far better than they did, maybe I should thank my parents for not giving me any special treatment as a child.

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