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I pulled a cougar mama move and now I feel ashamed. Advice?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Long story but my marriage is in the toilet and I was out with girlfriends for cocktails.  The bartender was super flirty and here I am in my prime and my husband won't so much as look at me.  I'm in my 40's  he looks , good lord like my daughters age ( yes I was a young mom if your doing the math)  and I can assume he is at least 21.  I slipped him my number, and by the time we got home he texted me.  I went to the bathroom to check on the messages and we started sexting.  He sent me a picture of his package OMG ladies  I've been with the same man since high school and he is average but this pic omg looks like two hands would have to hold on for that ride.  I woke up today feeling guilty but I can't stop fantasizing about that picture.  What do I do now? 

Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 12, 2013 at 10:02 AM
Replies (391-397):
xxshelbyxxx
by Scarlet begonias on Jun. 18, 2013 at 7:01 AM
I know right? I don't get how these women think if you can't have sex your husband should automatically leave you or cheat on you. Or that we should just give it up despite hurting.


Quoting scrapperv:

Shelby i was thinking the same thing i have endo and sex is painfull and before surgery we could only do it once a month and my hubby stuck with me. Its amaxing what love does.




Quoting xxshelbyxxx:

What you said was truly beautiful and your husband is lucky to have such an honest, loving wife. I wish all women AND men thought the way you (and I) do. I'm not married but I'm sure eventually my SO and I will take that step, but I fully believe that once you take those vows, death do us part, for better or for worse, MEANS WHAT IT SAYS! You don't make a vow to stick by someone's side then go screw some stranger because your HUSBAND has health issues. No, you find ways to help eAchother out in the bedroom, like YOU suggested. All perfect ideas.





OP must not love him anymore because If you love someone you wouldn't do this to them. You'll stick by their side through thick and thin. I feel lucky I have the guy I have because I have health problems that make having sex extremely painful and we go months without having sex and when we do its for 2 minutes and I'm in agony. But he's NEVER cheated, he wouldn't cheat and I know this. He's there for me, he understands ME. I would NOT be ok with him going elsewhere to get his so called "needs" met, nor would I "understand he had to do it cuz I couldn't help him." Fuck that. It's not a NEED its A WANT!





Edited to add: AND I'm only 22 and SO 27. So imagine how it feels being this young and unable to enjoy sex, when we used to screw like jack rabbits.








Quoting MissJessicaAnn:It is!!!!! :D








Quoting laranadtony:Quoting MissJessicaAnn:#1. I know better than anyone what E.D. is like to live with. My DH is on 3 medications that all cause sexual dysfunction and it tears him up inside. He has PTSD, Anxiety and S.D. as well which also diminish his drive and affect his life. He spoke to a doctor and has a counteracting drug that helps. Basically though, as his wife, best friend and confidant, its my job to support and help him. Not bitch and whine that I can't get any. I need to be understanding, not him. #2. No one needs to go outside their own marriage to find sexual satifaction. It's a natural urge but, come on. Buy a dildo, use your fingers or use a 5 speed detachable showerhead to get yourself off. Hell, ask hubby to use your toys on you if he's up for it. But, before you fuck a stranger and make more trouble, figure out if your marriage is worth saving or not. If not, maybe separate or divorce before you go looking for some strange.





Cheaters, liars and thieves disgust me.








Quoting allmyguys:You do what you have to do to take of yourself! Nobody can judge you for something that your body and mind needs! If your husband is understanding and loves you then he knows that due to "his" problem is why you need to find satisfaction elsewhere!








Quoting Anonymous:My husband has erectile dysfunction.  You don't know what it is like to live with that!!!





Isn't it a wonderful liberating thing to discover that lovemaking is so much more than sex???







xxshelbyxxx
by Scarlet begonias on Jun. 18, 2013 at 7:02 AM
ABSOLUTLEY


Quoting MissJessicaAnn:

Thank You xxshelbyxxx!!! DH and I have been together for 12 yrs ... he just turned 29. We are still fairly young which makes it a bit harder but, there's so much more to us than just the physical. True love withstands most anything.




Quoting xxshelbyxxx:

What you said was truly beautiful and your husband is lucky to have such an honest, loving wife. I wish all women AND men thought the way you (and I) do. I'm not married but I'm sure eventually my SO and I will take that step, but I fully believe that once you take those vows, death do us part, for better or for worse, MEANS WHAT IT SAYS! You don't make a vow to stick by someone's side then go screw some stranger because your HUSBAND has health issues. No, you find ways to help eAchother out in the bedroom, like YOU suggested. All perfect ideas.





OP must not love him anymore because If you love someone you wouldn't do this to them. You'll stick by their side through thick and thin. I feel lucky I have the guy I have because I have health problems that make having sex extremely painful and we go months without having sex and when we do its for 2 minutes and I'm in agony. But he's NEVER cheated, he wouldn't cheat and I know this. He's there for me, he understands ME. I would NOT be ok with him going elsewhere to get his so called "needs" met, nor would I "understand he had to do it cuz I couldn't help him." Fuck that. It's not a NEED its A WANT!





Edited to add: AND I'm only 22 and SO 27. So imagine how it feels being this young and unable to enjoy sex, when we used to screw like jack rabbits.








Quoting MissJessicaAnn:It is!!!!! :D








Quoting laranadtony:Quoting MissJessicaAnn:#1. I know better than anyone what E.D. is like to live with. My DH is on 3 medications that all cause sexual dysfunction and it tears him up inside. He has PTSD, Anxiety and S.D. as well which also diminish his drive and affect his life. He spoke to a doctor and has a counteracting drug that helps. Basically though, as his wife, best friend and confidant, its my job to support and help him. Not bitch and whine that I can't get any. I need to be understanding, not him. #2. No one needs to go outside their own marriage to find sexual satifaction. It's a natural urge but, come on. Buy a dildo, use your fingers or use a 5 speed detachable showerhead to get yourself off. Hell, ask hubby to use your toys on you if he's up for it. But, before you fuck a stranger and make more trouble, figure out if your marriage is worth saving or not. If not, maybe separate or divorce before you go looking for some strange.





Cheaters, liars and thieves disgust me.








Quoting allmyguys:You do what you have to do to take of yourself! Nobody can judge you for something that your body and mind needs! If your husband is understanding and loves you then he knows that due to "his" problem is why you need to find satisfaction elsewhere!








Quoting Anonymous:My husband has erectile dysfunction.  You don't know what it is like to live with that!!!





Isn't it a wonderful liberating thing to discover that lovemaking is so much more than sex???







Anonymous
by Anonymous 110 on Jun. 18, 2013 at 7:37 AM



Quoting M.I.A...P.O.W:

First question do you want to stay married? Next you have to tell your husband and that whatever happens happen.

Okay, I'm bad, but why does she have to tell her husband?  That would be stupid.  Haven't any of you ever kept a big, big juicy secret? 


Anonymous
by Anonymous 111 on Jun. 20, 2013 at 2:15 PM
Maybe your husband isn't looking at you because he is ashamed of his ED. Sit down and talk to him see if tretment options are available or if he is willing to do other things in the bedroom to please you.

Toys come in all sizes if it's just the size of this guy that you are liking

Unless you think there is no hope for your marriage then in that case divorce him and then go have you fun. But if there truly is no hope you wouldn't feel ashamed
Anonymous
by Anonymous 111 on Jun. 20, 2013 at 2:22 PM
Half of you telling her to go for it are probably the same ones who bitch and flip shit that dh watches porn but you aren't having sex with him.

Such a double standard. If you love your husband figure it out or get divorced then have your fun
scrapperv
by on Jun. 20, 2013 at 7:48 PM
So what did you decide to do????
scrapperv
by on Aug. 13, 2013 at 12:36 AM
What happened?
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