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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

My 12 year old DD doesn't take care of herself

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 11 Replies

I don't even know what to do anymore.  Ever since she was a baby, I've kept her clean, groomed, and emphasized how important it is to keep herself groomed and clean.  Lately, though, she has been in this phase where she doesn't want to do anything.  She doesn't want to shower, brush her teeth, comb her hair, and I discovered recently she isn't wiping right because of the mess I saw in her underwear.  I showed her how to wipe correctly when she was potty training, and she didn't seem to have a problem with it then, so I don't know what she's doing there.  

She just started her period the other day for the first time, and we've talked about it numerous times before.  She knew what to expect, how to put a pad on, what to carry with her.  I'm so glad it started during summer vacation because she has all summer to get used to it now.  Anyways, she kept saying "It's gross!" and doesn't want to have to touch her own pad or wipe herself or anything.  She knows it's normal blood and there's nothing gross or wrong with the blood, we've had that talk many times before.  

What can I do?  Has anyone else experienced this with their pre-teen daughters?  I keep myself groomed and clean and she has always seen me like this, so I don't know what the problem is.  She doesn't even care if she goes to school in matching clothes or not.  Of course, that's not a problem anymore since school is out for the summer, but I'm worried about when school starts again.  We all know how mean 12 and 13 year old girls can be, and I am trying to help her so she doesn't get picked on.  I want her to be groomed and clean, but she doesn't seem to care.  

Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 12, 2013 at 6:57 PM
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Replies (1-10):
starlight91
by on Jun. 12, 2013 at 6:59 PM

I got nothing, my dd's never acted like this, I never know when they have their period other then them saying mom you gotta get more pads & tampons.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jun. 12, 2013 at 7:00 PM
2 moms liked this

She may be depressed

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jun. 12, 2013 at 7:03 PM

I've seen quite a few girls go through this phase. My dh's niece is doing this right now, asking that kid to brush her teeth or shower sparks some of the most disrespectful backtalk I've ever heard. You've educated her about keeping clean and why it's important so now it's time for punishments. Make her hand wash her underwear/clothes and anything else she stains from not wiping properly or taking care of her period. Tell her that she WILL shower and brush her teeth, escort her to the bathroom and watch it happen if you have to. Maybe try buying a few different brands of pads and see if that helps with the period issues. There are also flushable wet wipes that keep things cleaner.

elitish
by on Jun. 12, 2013 at 7:04 PM

Pads ARE gross. Get her some tampons so she feels cleaner.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jun. 12, 2013 at 7:04 PM

Tell her people dont like to be around those that smell and look nasty. You dont shower you will smell. And you wont have a smelly child living in your house. MAKE her take a shower. March her little but in there. Stand there if you have to. If she has nasty underware, make her wash it by hand in the sink. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jun. 12, 2013 at 7:06 PM


Quoting elitish:

Pads ARE gross. Get her some tampons so she feels cleaner.

Tampons are nasty. And not everyone likes wearing them. You still have to touch the tampon and if her kid is like that then there is a good chance the kid will just flush them a thing you arent supposed to do. 

brandydesiree
by Platinum Member on Jun. 12, 2013 at 7:07 PM
I went through a phase in 7th grade where I didn't want to wash my hair. I had this dilusion that the oil made it look shiny... It was gross! I look back at pictures from that age and think WTF was I thinking?
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jun. 12, 2013 at 7:11 PM

My 11 year old DS doesn't care about his grooming either. If I never told him when to shower/brush his teeth, he would go weeks without it. And his armpits smell like a grown mans after a day with no shower. It doesn't even phase him. I have to remind him to get showers and brush his teeth and it bugs me so bad because I feel like he should know when to do it on his own!

JJJMommyKris
by Bronze Member on Jun. 12, 2013 at 11:26 PM
Could she have been abused? This sounds like regression that an abused child may experience.
acook0331
by on Jun. 12, 2013 at 11:39 PM

My 12 year old is similar. She doesn't wash her hair, she just gets it wet. She has severe dandruff and claims she has been using it but there is no difference.  She has this musty smell tha has caused us to get air fresheners in her bedroom and bathroom. He hair is oily and nasty.  She takes a shower daily but I doubt she actually cleans anything,

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