OK. I really dont want any negativity being I have had enough negativity and maybe I am just needing to vent!
I have been with my boyfriend for 1 yr and half now. In the beginning I told him I really wasn't ready for a relationship and he pushed on. He broke every rule I had set for myself being a single mom. Only a couple months in he told me he loved me and I told him I wanted to RUN.
well a couple months later I felt really bad for him bc I really really hate to see people struggle bc I have so many times! But we made a deal that if he let his POS car go back he could use mine and when his tax money came in he would get a different one. Well he was going to give me $200 a month to save for a better downpayment and it seems he always had an excuse as to why he couldn't do it. Well then his X sued him for the 3rd time for custody so he had to use part of his tax money for a lawyer. So I caved and let it go. then he was in an accident at work and was off for months and was still getting a full paycheck. He still never gave me any money, quit paying the lawyer, and never paid his home or internet that was in my name.
OK HERES WHERE THE BASHING COMES IN. Bc he was home I let him keep my kids while I was at work and gave him my CC so he could take my kids places and put gas in the car. Well I noticed not only was he paying for my kids he was paying for other things as well. I checked his paypal and my info was on there!!!! He said he didn't know how that happened (bc I used his paypal once but then deleted my info) then I paid for his kids Christmas, bday parties, every stitch of clothing they had except for what family gave for bday and his phone and his electricity once and he NEVER paid a dime on my car note that he was driving or the car ins. While I was at work and he was bored he would call me CONSTANTLY and say "I know you were wanting (insert item) and I will go get it for you"... UMMM no I have lived this long with out it I will be fine. Well I get home and there is whatever he bought. I said how did you pay for this... Your credit card! WTH DUDE I HAVE TO PAY FOR THAT... He says in a whiny voice I was just trying to be nice. WELL DON'T!!!! He told my BIL once when they went on a dr pepper run that it was ok bc he had my credit card...
OK again he had my card bc he was watching my kids and I didn't feel it was fair for him to pay for MY kids. (Yes its my fault for letting him have it)When we went out I ALWAYS paid. I felt that if I was ever going to get out of the house I had to suck it up. There were times he would say lets go somewhere and I would ask how he was going to pay for it and his shoulders would fall and then we would leave and end up he would manipulate the situation til we finally spent money. I paid for the mini vacations and such.
Well I had to sell my camper to get out of the debt that he incurred. I finally had enough and gave him an ultimatum and made him find a ride to work and told him I was done and he could no longer drive my vehicles. I canceled his ins. He had given me his tax check this year and I was going to put it towards my bills. Well I lost my job and I got fed up bc I can't tote him anymore so I took his tax money and got him a car. I see him at my convenience now and his family has bashed him for being a pig! I told him I really needed some time away from him and time to think. He is now working 2 jobs but I still don't see a dime bc he has so much catching up to do. I refuse to keep toting him along with out a job... I did that at the beginning of the relationship.
Why is it that some people can't see a credit card as something concrete and still has to be paid. I am a huge saver and budgeter. He had to move and so he started coming here literally every day and wash his clothes here and shower here and watch my tv.But here's the thing for some reason I love him and my kids ADORE him. But on the other hand he out right took advantage of me. Now the little things from pay pal was a few dollars here and there but it was the point of not telling me and then the groc that were bought and gas bought. When I trusted him. I didn't just have cash to hand to him and say here is the money to take my kids somewhere and what if something happened while they were out!
He is really good at folding clothes and putting them up and does it on his own. When he cleans tho I realized he stuffing in corners. He is really good in bed and easy on the eyes. He is fun to hang out with but doesn't have a lick of common sense. My kids have been mad at me bc I haven't let him come around. But during all this time I would say stuff like look I can't keep doing this.. he said I know babe when... when... when... well it seems the when never came and I have reminded him that he has horrible trust issues but yet I gave him no reason to not trust yet he broke his trust with me. I feel like he is not the person I met and that he put on a front and called him out on that. His new phrase is that he can't change what happened. But it hurts to know that someone is doing the best they can and then be run thru the ringer. My heart gets in the way of reality. So the foot has been put down and I will and have NOT given him a DIME.... NOTHING..... since March. he lost the internet bc he just can't pay for it... (it was his only way of watching tv) and he goes with out lunch and sometimes supper.
Do you think a person like this can change? I can't make up my mind if I want him to stay or go!!! I am just hurt and confused and super depressed bc here it is now summer and I don't get ANY gov't assistance and I have had to borrow money to buy my kids groc. I am dilligently searching for a job! I don't know why I can't put it all past me and yes I know it is my fault for giving in to him all those times. I am weak. I have a heart but I can only take so much!
OK I know this is long thanks for reading.....