MY HUSBAND LIVES A SECRET LIFE ,AND I WANT TO LEAVE HIM..
I will keep it real because I need healing and help to get out of my toxic marriage. I have been married for 11 years,and like all marriages, it has had it's ups and downs. My husband is 12 years older than me. Iam 47 years old. When I met my husband he was kind, loving and patient. I was a widow when we became serious.
He at the time was looking for a wife because he was in deacon training. We dated for 3 years, and married. In the beginning I noticed he had a bit of a temper, and I would remind him he is a deacon and to respect me..
The red flags started showing after 3 years in the marriage I had not met his sisters, or his two daughters. It bothered me because I know nothing about his roots.
more red flags appeared when he started verbally abusing me, to the point where I would cry a lot. Then, he would take me on trips. Keep in mind that my first husband was killed in a car accident and my children were injured, so I was a bit emotionally bruised,but I was ok..
4 years in our marriage, he is a deacon... And, here is Redflag, he would start arguments with me and disappear for days, and have me worried. Then, come home and act like his dissaparance was my punishment.. Then, go to church and sing in the choir, and collect offerings.
Last year he was diagnosed with prostate cancer,and as a caring and forgiving wife, I took him to his doctor appointments( he still verbally abused me). And, I took care of him after surgery(bathing,cooking , and changing his dressings). He still verbally abused me,mand again, go to church as a deacon and a Sunday school teacher, and still abuse me.
The cancer diagnosis still did not get his attention, to fear God. I found some intimate emails and went off because you had cancer and I took care of you and help you understand your diabetis. And, you have been a cheater in our marriage deacon!
I felt soo betrayed,and taken for granted. I almost tried to push him down the stairs because what kind of person would do this to their wife.. Guess what? He moved out on my birthday, and of course we reconciled.m
I did it because I lost my job and I need help. He took us to Hawaii for our anniversary, and we prayed and reconcile, but he has a split personality. He is many people. He abuses me and go to church and I am tired of living a lie.. Everyone thinks he is stable because he wares a suit in Sundays and study and teach the word.( false prophet)
The final straw that tore my soul is the fact that I come from a anusive home.I was verbally and physically abused by my mon and suffered emotionally as a child and acted out.mas a child. My mom tells my husband I was a terrible and crazy child when in fact 2 of my siblings were suicidalmbecause of neglect and my youngest brother has been missing for 11 years.
So, the most sickness thing he does is bring up the things my mom said to hurt me and it does..
I have been seeking employment,and THEARPY..I'm stuck because f finances
, but very unhappy... I want to be free from abuse!!