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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I stopped giving warnings for...

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

back talking. Thanks to some little heathens at my girls' preschool whose parents don't keep them in their place, my girls have learned to back talk. One little girl in particular is a major bad influence. Her mom thinks it's funny when she is sassy. I call it disrespect. So now, I have to be the bad guy. I started off telling my girls that it is disrespectful and they are not allowed to back talk to adults. Then I started punishing them after they'd received warnings. Now, no warnings. No being separated from everyone else. No timeouts. If they back talk me, it's an instant spanking. Normally, spanking is a last resort. I don't care for it. But I absolutely will not tolerate sassy, back talking, disrespectful children. When they are told to do something, the most I expect to hear out of them is "Yes ma'am" or "Yes sir". If they don't get their way, I expect them to keep their mouths shut and know their place.

Have you ever stopped giving warnings for any behaviors?

Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 13, 2013 at 6:33 PM
Replies (41-50):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jun. 14, 2013 at 3:04 PM

If my child keeps under-minding me with something like that, I won't hesitate to be the same way. I don't know what is up with parenting now. I love my child, but part of being a loving parent is not always trying to be their friend and pacify them. Sometimes you have to be the bad guy and say "This won't be tolerated behavior."

PeaceLoveZ
by Platinum Member on Jun. 14, 2013 at 3:05 PM

 I give one warning. If I have to repeat myself, we are done, sir!

tardistraveller
by on Jun. 14, 2013 at 3:10 PM

My son's behavioural therapist recommended I stop giving warnings for (of all things lol) backtalk and (sigh) shaking his ass at me (long story).

The reason is, these were behaviours he KNEW were wrong, he was doing it several times a day, it was an expectation that he was well aware of not an atypical thing, he simply didn't need a warning.

Some things giving a warning is actually allowing the behaviour, this is one of those situations.

Ds doesn't get warnings for backtalk or disrespect if it is an ongoing behaviour.  He knows it's wrong and he gets a time out immediately when he does it.

tardistraveller
by on Jun. 14, 2013 at 3:11 PM

*undermining.

under-minding isn't a word.

Quoting Anonymous:

If my child keeps under-minding me with something like that, I won't hesitate to be the same way. I don't know what is up with parenting now. I love my child, but part of being a loving parent is not always trying to be their friend and pacify them. Sometimes you have to be the bad guy and say "This won't be tolerated behavior."


Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jun. 14, 2013 at 3:14 PM

Hmm, why did CM spellcheck have that as a word? Weird. 

Quoting tardistraveller:

*undermining.

under-minding isn't a word.

Quoting Anonymous:

If my child keeps under-minding me with something like that, I won't hesitate to be the same way. I don't know what is up with parenting now. I love my child, but part of being a loving parent is not always trying to be their friend and pacify them. Sometimes you have to be the bad guy and say "This won't be tolerated behavior."



tardistraveller
by on Jun. 14, 2013 at 3:16 PM

cm spell check also tells me neighbour and behaviour are spelled wrong.

Quoting Anonymous:

Hmm, why did CM spellcheck have that as a word? Weird. 

Quoting tardistraveller:

*undermining.

under-minding isn't a word.

Quoting Anonymous:

If my child keeps under-minding me with something like that, I won't hesitate to be the same way. I don't know what is up with parenting now. I love my child, but part of being a loving parent is not always trying to be their friend and pacify them. Sometimes you have to be the bad guy and say "This won't be tolerated behavior."




twweaty
by New Member on Jun. 14, 2013 at 3:17 PM

Im glad im not the only mean mama! my kids have started getting bad attitudes, and warnings just enable them more it seems! ill get them every time.. ive started with my 8 year old taking away talking privlages.. he loses his voice for 15 mins, and every time he talks during that, the 15 starts over... we went on for an hour... it made the point... hes been better today (that happening yesterday) 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jun. 14, 2013 at 3:21 PM

CM spell check sucks! Lol

Quoting tardistraveller:

cm spell check also tells me neighbour and behaviour are spelled wrong.

Quoting Anonymous:

Hmm, why did CM spellcheck have that as a word? Weird. 

Quoting tardistraveller:

*undermining.

under-minding isn't a word.

Quoting Anonymous:

If my child keeps under-minding me with something like that, I won't hesitate to be the same way. I don't know what is up with parenting now. I love my child, but part of being a loving parent is not always trying to be their friend and pacify them. Sometimes you have to be the bad guy and say "This won't be tolerated behavior."





2m2t
by Bronze Member on Jun. 14, 2013 at 3:46 PM
1 mom liked this
Quoting Anonymous:

back talking. Thanks to some little heathens at my girls' preschool whose parents don't keep them in their place, my girls have learned to back talk. One little girl in particular is a major bad influence. Her mom thinks it's funny when she is sassy. I call it disrespect. So now, I have to be the bad guy. I started off telling my girls that it is disrespectful and they are not allowed to back talk to adults. Then I started punishing them after they'd received warnings. Now, no warnings. No being separated from everyone else. No timeouts. If they back talk me, it's an instant spanking. Normally, spanking is a last resort. I don't care for it. But I absolutely will not tolerate sassy, back talking, disrespectful children. When they are told to do something, the most I expect to hear out of them is "Yes ma'am" or "Yes sir". If they don't get their way, I expect them to keep their mouths shut and know their place.


Have you ever stopped giving warnings for any behaviors?



My kids are human beings they deserve respect as much as I do. The fact that they are my children does not mean that they have to do everything I say/want/ask etc. Respect does not come from "yes, madam/sir", respect is way more deeper than some words. To be honest, I don't even need their respect... I need their love. In the same time, my kids (4 and 6) will clean their room by themselves; will set up the table without being asked to do so; will pair socks because they enjoy the talk during this activity; will organize shoes in the closet or take care of each other... and some other things. They tried talking back (which is inacceptable in our family) but we kept explaining that we cannot be proud of them like that, after 3-4 attempts they stopped.

We offer respect and we get respect back. Kids have their own frustrations and they also need to let them go. Don't forget about their sharp sense of "fair". By keeping them quiet you're raising future dependents on psychotherapy. Yes, my kids are allowed to tell me that I am wrong, that they hate me when they feel like that (usually the next thing after saying so is "mom, that is not true, I really love you but... insert here whaterver problem kids their age might encounter and bring their frustration to the higher levels possible).

I love the fact that my kids are confident enough to make their own decisions, I can take a "no" from them because I know they always have a reason to say that.
Retrokitty
by Jasmyne on Jun. 14, 2013 at 3:49 PM
1 mom liked this
I don't understand why people expect more from kids than adults.
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